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What do people really wear to funerals?

(43 Posts)
miche8 Sun 04-Nov-12 08:05:57

I have my grandmothers funeral tomorrow, this is the first time I've ever been to one only staying for the service a cremation then I have to dash back for the school run, could I get away with dark purple skinny jeans because they fit me tucked into tall flat boots, have a black top and a black coat, so you would only actually see a small amount of purple from mid thigh to knee.

Really don't want to buy black trousers, I wouldn't wear them again and they attract dog hair.

OwedToAutumn Sun 04-Nov-12 08:10:26

The point is not so much to wear black, but to dress soberly. Navy blue, for example, would also be fine.

It's amazing the number of people who think you should wear black to a funeral, and therefore turn up in the only black clothes they have, no matter how inappropriate. (Low cut, short, black cocktail style dress!)

Himalaya Sun 04-Nov-12 08:11:22

I think this would be fine.

twointhemorning Sun 04-Nov-12 09:28:52

The emphasis should be on dressing soberly. I've worn a brown dress, I've also worn a black & white patterned dress. Those 2 were summer funerals of family friends. When I was younger. I wore my black interview suit to family funerals. Lots of people seem to disapprove of anything too short, too tight or show too much chest/ boobs. Purple would be an ok colour but I personally wouldn't wear skinnies.

GetOrfAKAMrsUsainBolt Sun 04-Nov-12 09:41:33

I wouldn't wear jeans to a funeral - black or purple.

Do you have a plain black dress? If not I really would borrow or buy a cheap pair of black trousers.

Jeans are not appropriate imo.

I am sorry about your gran dying, btw. I hope tomorrow is not too upsetting.

LittleBearPad Sun 04-Nov-12 09:44:39

I wouldn't wear jeans but most dark colours would be fine - you don't have to wear black.

7to25 Sun 04-Nov-12 09:44:46

Agree with every word of GetOrf.Put the trousers,dress into your wardrobe for the next funeral.
I am old enough to have a "funeral dress"

LittleBearPad Sun 04-Nov-12 09:45:21

Hope it goes ok too.

Northernlurker Sun 04-Nov-12 09:46:40

I think your purple jeans will be fine. I'm syre you'll look lovely and that's how your grandma would have liked to see you isn't it? Last two funerals I've been too I wore a purple dress to one and my navy suit to another. My sister was at the second and she was wearing trousers and boots as you describe. People really won't be looking too closely - and if they are well then screw them!

cocolepew Sun 04-Nov-12 09:47:29

Sorry for your loss.
I would never wear jeans to a funeral. I agree you dont have to wear black , but dress soberly.

Northernlurker Sun 04-Nov-12 09:50:00

What's not sobe about dark purple trousers? You won't even be able to tell the fabric is denim because of the colour.

GetOrfAKAMrsUsainBolt Sun 04-Nov-12 10:03:27

I don't think you need to wear black, no. I usually do because of my dull and boring work wardrobe which is full of black and grey.

I think purple is fine, it's just the jeans thing really.

But really, thinking about it, you have just lost your gran. That's the most important thing, and I imagine tomorrow will be hard. The last thing you want to worry about is what you are wearing on your legs.

colditz Sun 04-Nov-12 10:04:39

Would your grandmother have cared?

dysfunctionalme Sun 04-Nov-12 10:06:42

It really depends on the family and what they feel is acceptable. I think it's nice to dress smartly as a sign of respect, but at my dad's funeral many of the family wore bright colours in scarves etc and at a friend's we were actually asked to wear something pink as a nod to breast cancer awareness.

What you have described sounds fine.

ivykaty44 Sun 04-Nov-12 10:09:21

I wouldn't worry about wearing jeans, I went to a funeral recently and the main party were dressed some in jeans, some in bright colours and some in sombre clothes.

You wear what you think is ok and it will be ok as it was your grandmother, hope the funeral goes well for the last goodbye.

TinyDancingHoofer Sun 04-Nov-12 10:12:00

I agree purple is fine, jeans are not. To my grans funeral i wore a knee length black pencil skirt dress with tights.

ZillionChocolate Sun 04-Nov-12 10:12:40

Are your family going to cause a fuss if you wear something fairly informal? I have worn black skirt suits/work dresses to funerals but I have them available. I agree sober style is more important than the colour.

usualsuspect3 Sun 04-Nov-12 10:14:29

Sounds fine to me, I've been to funerals where people have worn jeans.

ivykaty44 Sun 04-Nov-12 10:15:33

Thing is those of you saying purple is fine - well the op says purple as the jeans are purple not due to her wanting particularly to wear purple. It is not as if she is going out to buy purple trousers in the morning - this is what she has in her wardrobe.

Thumbwitch Sun 04-Nov-12 10:17:41

I tend to agree that the colour is fine but not so sure about skinny jeans being appropriate. Even with knee high boots. Do you not have a dark skirt of any variety?

I have a dark forest green dress that I tend to wear; at my Mum's funeral I was pg so couldn't fit into it so wore a dark purple wrap skirt instead.

In the end though, it is about the mourning family and what they think/expect (IMO) - so why don't you ask your relevant parent if your prospective clothes are ok and see what they say?

miche8 Sun 04-Nov-12 10:20:12

Thanks for the replies, my gran wouldnt want us to spend money on clothes, have had to buy dp trousers, my purple jeans are very dark and not even a denim material , they are slim fitting not really tight, you will only see from mid thigh to knee and I will be sat down through the service, I suppose I could wear black leggings at a push.

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 04-Nov-12 10:24:02

I think they sound fine - its not like they're denim denim.

With smart boots and coat you'll look fine.

Sorry for your loss.

Savonarola Sun 04-Nov-12 10:26:36

I think you should wear black to a funeral.

The traditional colours of second mourning are also appropriate if you have no suitable black clothes; these are grey, white and purple.

You are being traditional, and I don't see a problem with the choice of colour.

Northernlurker Sun 04-Nov-12 10:29:47

It never ceases to amaze me how in 2012 people are still so 'traditional' for funerals. Must be dark colours, must be a skirt or dress etc to show 'respect'. Respect is what's in your heart not what's on your back.

miche8 Sun 04-Nov-12 10:30:09

I've been a sahm for 11 yrs so have no formal wear, I've not see the rest of the family since I was a kid, they don't live local, it was just me and my dad that lived near gran and saw her, my dad wouldnt have a clue about clothes. Will have a try on later, in my head the outfit looks smart, was just worried about it not being black but if dark colours are acceptable, I think the jeans were actually called jeggings they don't look like jeans. Worried about what to expect tomorrow.

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