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Rant. Hair. frizzy. why don't hairdressers listen

(126 Posts)
kelpeed Sat 06-Oct-12 04:49:15

My hair was cut yesterday. It is thick and wavy and turns to frizz when short.

I provided a photo showing a cut like Jo Grant's in Dr Who (Jon Pertwee). a bit layered, medium longish, and with each of the layers curling with their own length.

I asked that NO thinning scissors or razors be used, just the scissors. I also said I'm not going to be a slave to a hairdryer, so please cut the hair so it will be low maintainence. But did they listen?

I came out looking like Jennifer Anniston. AGAIN. With wispy ends and edges and hair all blow-dried straight.

Once it is washed I will look like a witch, with lots of ends flying in all directions. I will then wear it up in a bun for work, or a ponytail, so it looks relatively neater, and then it will be at least another year before I brave going into another hairdresser.

I hate this. It happens most of the time.

Hairdressers always bloody whip out the thinning scissors, and trim the edges around my face and at the ends so it looks and feels like I have feathers. They say the thinning scissors are important to make sure the ends arent noticed, and I get made to feel like I'm some sort of lower life form if I don't agree. I have never been to the same hairdresser twice in the last 10 years because I end up with this awful Jennifer cut.

I always end up asking myself these questions afterwards.

Why do hairdressers use the thinning scissors on curly/wavy/frizz-prone hair?

Why don't hairdressers bloody listen ? Or- what should i be doing differently besides relying on photoes which they seem to ignore ? Are there any special terms that I need to use to get them to listen apart from NOT the Jennifer A. look? I repeat-Showing a photo does NOT work.

What it is with the feathery jagged edge ends? I dont like it (on me).

Why do they expect me to blow dry my hair to make it flat when I have clearly wavy/curly hair?

When are teach hairdressers going to learn new haircuts, besides the Jennifer?

If any MNetters have answers to these please share - but not if it involves using a blowdryer or spending money on antifrizz/keratin stuff for my hair.

IllageVidiot Mon 08-Oct-12 05:42:02

I have a straight bit at the front so fringe fine, but you can move the ponytail to leave it longer at the front or actually just separate out that bit so you can cut it how you like. It's quite versatile. It is just such a simple way to get layers through the back without having to do a two mirror cha-cha or pull my hair round and sort of guess.

Tbh I do think it's just hair, and I can't do any worse than some of the shockers I've had. Once I started being brave it all very quickly made sense and can now change they cut as I want to but still end up doing the original version usually as it works well for me. Or maybe I'm jsy really, really tight? hmm

babybarrister Mon 08-Oct-12 06:52:42

I always choose hairdressers with curly hair or from cultures where there are lots of people with curly hair - Brazilians and other Latinos have worked for me!

7to25 Mon 08-Oct-12 07:44:41

I have had the same problems over many years but second the "ethnic" route.
My son, with very wiry curly hair used to have to get a "number" all over. Now he foes to a Turkish barber and gets a lovely cut.

er1507 Mon 08-Oct-12 07:54:43

bigfatlegs there must be a communication break down between the client and customer. Probably the result of a poor consultation. if you want to avoid the Jennifer then ask for less shaping around the face and even though you want it smooth ask them to blowdry with a round brush because you still need the volume. then it's down to how they dress the hair.

bike I can't believe THREE branches of Toni and guy said they don't deal with curly hair! That's so unprofessional!

HiHowAreYou Mon 08-Oct-12 08:01:14

I found a hairdresser I liked. One. I have wavy hair. Nobody had ever cut it in a way I liked before.

Her husband left her and she quit.

I am still not over it.


biryani Mon 08-Oct-12 08:21:33

I used to come out looking like Princess Di until I found my local, cheap place. They listen, know me and my lifestyle, and value my custom. If something goes wrong, or if I have DIY disaster at home, they will do their best to put it right.

I think expensive, fashionable salons are operated.

BonnyDay Mon 08-Oct-12 08:23:32

well i have currently got a huge chunk missing off one side of mine. she THINNED it and then i used tongs on it and a big chunk has slowly fallen out.

agree re the cutting in thing

RollerCola Mon 08-Oct-12 09:25:51

So are there any more hairdressers on here? Can you tell us what your training actually covers in regards to curly/wavy hair? I can't believe all blow drys involve drying hair straight, there must be some kind of technique for curly/wavy?

mistlethrush Mon 08-Oct-12 09:47:56

I can't believe so many of you can actually have your hair blow dried!!!

At most I can cope with the drier that's like an electric fire in a ring without lots of blow - but normally just leave my hair to dry. Any blow near it and I end up looking like Crystal tips.

ornellaia Mon 08-Oct-12 09:59:49

I have curly hair too and have always hated finding a new hairdresser, when I moved from Manchester to Lincoln I couldn't find a decent hairdresser so had to drive 2.5 hours back to the NW for a haircut! I've since moved to Sheffield and found a great stylist here. I let her do my DC's hair before mine so that I could see if she was any good blush

RollerCola Mon 08-Oct-12 10:05:49

ornellaia did you find a good one when you were in Manchester? I'm not far from there.

Meglet Mon 08-Oct-12 10:05:58

I second the Argan oil idea. I bought a bottle 18 months ago (mid MN Argan oil craze) and while it doesn't stop the frizziness it does seem to be in very good condition despite being quite long now.

I'm going to invest in more argan oil and maybe try taking hair trimming into my own hands.

kelpeed Mon 08-Oct-12 15:33:01

For everyone who has suggested the curly girl book (thanks) I've dug out a link for others to enjoy. the link is an expergated version, but nevertheless looks helpful for those trying to defray some of the costs of dodgy haircuts.

On consulting, just for the record, I actually do ask the hairdressers. It is not just a once-off problem - I've been asking them for over ten years. Hence the basis of the original rant. I bring my own photoes into the hairdresser, I ask them, sometimes several times, not to use the thinning scissors, but nope, the hairdressers overule me, and say I've got it all wrong, that style is not suitable for "my type of hair" they need to use the scissors/razor and then they say it's all in the styling and proceed to be "helpful" in pouring quanities of stuff through my hair, and showing me how to spend 30 minutes retro-torturing my hair into something which is flat - all dished up with the smuggy smug view that I'm delinquent in not devoting such time on my hair on a daily basis and I was letting my hair down.

I just want simplicity. Life is too short to spend 30 minutes in front of a mirror every fucking day melting under a heat gun when the kids are going feral in the background and I have a job to get to. Life is also too short trying to argue with hairdressers midhaircut (which I really don't like doing, cos they work on their feet all day long and I want to be a nice customer) and once I'm clamped into the chair i just cross my fingers and toes and pray that "this is the one".

AND, if I'm failing to communicate properly with the hairdresser, why have so many others jumped into this thread pretty much saying they have the same problem? Are they all not consulting properly? Or is it, now after reading the stories on this thread that there is a massive gaping hole the market for cutting curly hair? I wouldn't be swearing so much if some of my cuts had not so fucking expensive, but were still hideous.

So I take photos into the hairdresser showing people with curly/wavy hair. This means i want the haircut in the photo. but the cutters say they can't do the style shown for me, as that person has straight hair confused. Is it right to say that I can only have my hair styled into curls if my hair is straight to start with? and I have to have my hair styled flat becuse it is curly/ wavy?

I'm grumpy. my hair has gone very very witchy today. I am just living the part. BUT it's only hair, and really, I'm not going to die in a ditch it <breathes>

BikeRunSki Mon 08-Oct-12 18:13:21

mistlethrush where in Leeds?
ornelia where in Sheffield?

ornellaia Mon 08-Oct-12 22:26:32

RollerCola - Bramhall, so not quite Manchester, let me know if you want the details.
BikeRunSki - Serena at Nuba on West Street - she's brilliant, she trims the length with my hair wet, then dries it curly (and does a good job of it) and shapes it while it's curly.

mathanxiety Tue 09-Oct-12 04:39:52

There is a massive gaping hole in the market for cutting curly hair.

When I finally decided to take the law/scissors into my own hands it was because I was convinced there was some secret language only hairdressers knew and words that I had assumed had a specific meaning in English meant something completely different in hairdresser speak.

AngryBeaver Tue 09-Oct-12 04:50:48

I have just found a shampoo and contitioner called Melu, which is really good. My hairdresser used it and then gave me samples. Apparantly it is all natural ingrediants, so you could actually eat it! I wouldn't though! It seals down the hair shaft and seals it so there is no frizz.
It's not felt or looked this nice for a LONG time! I also got the serum to be applied after you have dried the hair, and then everyday. You can get it on Amazon,but they wont bloody ship here,so I have to buy it at Salon prices,grr! Still, I have got some hair confidence back!
Oh, I don't know if this is just me, but after a few times of using it, my hair started to feel greasy after I had washed it. So every 2nd/3rd wash,I mix equal amount of Melu shampoo in my hand with baking powder and massage it all in...perfect again!

RollerCola Tue 09-Oct-12 07:36:45

I've put a post on chat asking for input from hairdressers but so far there's only been one reply. From a curly-haired hairdresser who straightens her own hair sad

JaxTellerIsMyFriend Tue 09-Oct-12 07:43:22

you need to find a hairdresser who can cut your hair to suit you. I would say long layers - not short.

In the pictures you posted those models have had their hair dried, rollers in and swooshed - those are not natural hair pics.

Where are you? I can recommend some fab hairdressers in my area, it has taken me many years to find my perfect hairdresser and they cut my hair to suit me.

Drizzleit Tue 09-Oct-12 08:36:59

Thanks sleepless I might give her a try, I quite like the idea of a decent haircut!

fuckadoodlepoopoo Tue 09-Oct-12 10:47:28

No hairdresser has ever dried my hair. They don't know how. They just look at it confused after wet cutting. Once they blow dried the ends and left the roots sopping wet. Looked great hmm

Once, they brushed it dry so it went huge and frizzy and cut it like that and then expected me to walk out like that! It like as enormous!

Is it really right that after going to a hair dressers who are supposed to make me look nicer, i come out every time looking an absolute mess and have to go home and do my hair myself?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 09-Oct-12 10:56:30

I have reasonably curly hair and have been through the "I want it straight so will have a straight cut and then straighten it all the time" phase. I've just been in and the hairdresser sighed and said "But your hair is curly. It doesn't even look right straight." And she also told me off (in a good way) about the ridiculous highlights I had done last December which are only now growing out in the same way - "But you are a natural redhead. It doesn't suit you blonde." And she then gave me a lovely curly cut, which I could straighten if I ever felt the urge but it didn't need to be. It's slightly Andi Macdowell in 4 Weddings only not as early 90s, thank goodness. But it looks nice.

You need to find a hairdresser like that but I'm guessing you don't live anywhere near me grin

ScrambledSmegsEvilTwin Tue 09-Oct-12 11:01:09

One of my friends has a head full of tumbling curls, and her hair always looks great. I think she goes to a place in Notting Hill which specialises in curly hair. Unruly Salon/Studio?

If anyone on this thread is in London it might be worth it for you.

PS. My toddler DD has very short hair, but it's starting to grow curly now. Both DH and I have straight hair so we're really in the dark about how to dry it so that it goes curly, not frizzy/fluffy. Any tips please?

Nodecentnickname Tue 09-Oct-12 11:02:04

I'd love to have curly hair.

Mine is straight and very silky so nothing stays in it and a lot of products and blow during is required to get any kind of style!

THERhubarb Tue 09-Oct-12 11:09:06

Cut it yourself.

That's what I do. You can get away with this if you have curly hair. I comb all the hair over my head, go round with the scissors and then using a mirror I'll straighten back up and add the layers myself (usually just trimming existing layers).

Wash with conditioner only, don't use shampoo. Don't blow dry, comb it whilst wet and let it dry naturally. Whilst it's still damp, wet it again a little to damp down any frizzy ends and smooth a little conditioner into these.

Wash hair every other day. It can dry out if you wash it every day but will soon hang limp if you wash too infrequently.

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