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When you and your 4 year-old don't agree

(85 Posts)
LaTrucha Thu 04-Oct-12 21:47:49

DD has just started school and wants to make sure she doesn't look 'babylish' (really, she's obiously picked it up and misheard it) and now we can't agree on anything clotheswise.

Things she has aske d me for lately are This little number


and leopard print

I want to sob. I know she feels anxious about the whole thing and I want to get something she likes but I can't resign myself to these (maybe the leopard?)or find anything we might agree on.

Any ideas what I could get her?

LaTrucha Thu 04-Oct-12 22:20:59

Asmywhimsytakesme - thank god I'm not the only one.

No. My DD would look odd in black too grin

Shes still in peppa pig.

I am very upset about this really. I thought it might last longer than 4 fgs.

mirpuppet Thu 04-Oct-12 22:25:16

How is she getting to pick these item?

For my 4 year old the clothes arrived in the house; went in to the wardrobe and child could select from those items.

There was no looking at brochures or going shopping.

MrsBonkers Thu 04-Oct-12 22:37:01


Startailoforangeandgold Thu 04-Oct-12 22:37:01

If you are a snob don't look for girls clothes in Matlan, go to Debenham's and take out a mortgage.

Some Next and some M&S is ok.
Sainsbury's can be ok, tesco on line may be ours doesn't have a lot of clothes.
ASDA is a bit Matlanish. DD2 has some very dubious purple leopard print trousers.

Likewise H&M has nice coloured jeans and stipy tops and some dubious choices too.

DDs nices quality things have been fat face and crew, but they are £££ and casual not dresses.

Only monsoon and Debenham's do real party dresses and the prices are vile.

Peeenut Thu 04-Oct-12 22:43:16

I have boys and haven't a clue. I wouldn't wear them grin but the first two don't look so bad, in my mind they're younger than Hello Kitty and leggings. I won't comment on the 3rd because I don't like animal prints.

Wish I could wear a puff ball skirt and wellies. Caught that auto correct just in time, I almost posted puff ball skirt and willies!

Startailoforangeandgold Thu 04-Oct-12 22:43:29

[ brown dress with stars M&S]

Startailoforangeandgold Thu 04-Oct-12 22:44:56

brown dress with stars m&S

lurkingaround Thu 04-Oct-12 22:53:50

I'd let her at it. those dresses are fine(except the leopard one). I have DD2, and I hate what she wears, desperate combinations, but I picks my battles, and tend to let her at it. If she thinks she's lovely, then so be it, and I (almost) always agree, and send her off happy out. That's all that matters.

We went thru a phase where all she wanted to wear was tights (the more lurid the better), and a top (long sleeved t shirt). I used to argue that one, but sometimes I didn't win. We have a picture of her skating in Disneyland Paris in yes, tights and a top. In my defence I was v tired and could only argue so much. She's still not a bit embarrassed by this photo. We might roll that photo out for her 18th. Or wedding or summat.

My2Monkeys Thu 04-Oct-12 23:16:53

Can't see anything wrong with the first 2 dresses, 2nd one is actually quite cute. 3rd one is awful, but not as bad as the Next one you thought would make a good compromise - now that's tacky imo! BUT she's 4 and will look adorable in whatever she wears, so why not make life easy for yourself and let her have her own way (within reason)?

TiggerWearsATriteSmile Thu 04-Oct-12 23:22:19

They are woeful. I can not abide black on children. Those dresses make me itch, all of them.

Do girls really encourage 80's fashion on each other?

TellMeLater Fri 05-Oct-12 06:05:10

Dresses are fine. My dd has been making her wardrobe decisions since she was 3, pick your battles.

akaemmafrost Fri 05-Oct-12 06:23:57

I'm with mirpuppet. Dd is 6. She does get to choose what she wears, from the clothes that Mummy has already chosen grin. She'll have plenty of time to choose her own clothes. Mind you though I do let her choose things for parties and special occasions, usually Gap or H&M and she's actually got really good taste.

Growlithe Fri 05-Oct-12 06:27:33

I have seen many a thread on here telling me its wrong to put little girls in pink. Now black as well. What colour is acceptable? grin

FWIW my DD (4) had the M&S dress MrsBonkers suggests and looks adorable in it, and she picked that one! She is blonde with green eyes and pale skin. Black doesn't really suit her, and she doesn't seem comfortable in it IYKWIM.

On the right girl those first two dresses would look lovely though. Not the leopard skin one though.

RobinSparkles Fri 05-Oct-12 07:14:47

I agree with those of you who say, "my DD does not get to choose her own clothes. I choose her clothes and she chooses out of the wardrobe!"

However, if I buy something that DD1 doesn't like she will never choose it out of the wardrobe so it's a waste of money! I never have the option of taking it back to the shop because she always tells me that she likes it because she worries about hurting my feelings, so I might as well let her choose something.

I still can't see the Leopard print link, perhaps because I'm on my phone but I'm not a fan of leopard print for little girls. There is a lovely red coat,in Next, that I like for DD2 but I'm put off by the leopard print collar!

RobinSparkles Fri 05-Oct-12 07:26:47

My DD would probably adore this but it's quite ££.

RobinSparkles Fri 05-Oct-12 07:29:29

She also liked this lace top which I quite like.

nilbyname Fri 05-Oct-12 07:42:14

M&S have a good sale on at the moment, perhaps try there?

I also cannot abide black on grown up and drab looking.

H&M is always a winner for us, we all shop in there, we must look like a travelling band.

Asmywhimsytakesme Fri 05-Oct-12 07:45:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bbface Fri 05-Oct-12 07:51:07

I don't like either dress, on grounds of both personal taste and on what I deem appropriate for MY four year old.

Would I do a double take or be a judgey pants if I saw another four year wearing them? Absolutely not, wouldn't think twice.

If you are not comfortable with it, stand your ground. She is four year old fgs. If you are finding this difficult ow, wait until she is 13.

actiongirl1978 Fri 05-Oct-12 07:51:54

OP - I also think they are in poor taste. I am also against black on children... (and skulls and crossbones - I have a Ds2.5 and these are everywhere - yuck!)

For best dresses, try Verbaudet/Jojo/Gap outlet or if you have a bit more money, Boden. Get the dresses she can choose from on screen, let her choose. Make it clear that she can only have one and whichever she chooses, she will be wearing!! Order it, job done! I do this with Boden t-shirts and she gets to choose the one she likes most (pre selected by me!) and that is the one she has to wear all summer.

I also have a 4.5dd and I loathe characters/slogans - mine are only allowed to wear them for bed.

This year we got bored of buying things that she wouldn't wear, so we took her shopping in September, offered her two choices for her 'best' stuff and she chose and helped me hang it all up in the wardrobe. It helped that my husband was there too.. when he said something was pretty she bought into the idea whereas with me she often disagrees because she wants to!


newmum001 Fri 05-Oct-12 08:10:30

I quite like all 3 dresses. The first 2 aren't as nice as the next dress but i also really like what you picked out. Can you take her shopping and let her pick a few things and you pick a few things?

Drywhiteplease Fri 05-Oct-12 08:12:47

Well like many other posters I expected to see something far worse! At least she still wants to look like a girl, and a cute one at that! My dd decided she would stop wearing anything pink esp skirts and dresses aged 6 ,basically jeans all the time.
Now she's started secondary school sad she has to wear a skirt (or at least the majority do) and I chuckle inside as every day it seems to get shorter!!
Pick your fights with your kids.....these are party dresses and they're reasonably priced so so just get her one and move on.
P.s I don't go in shops with my two......I give them vetted online options !

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Fri 05-Oct-12 08:14:35

Dry your attitude is quite disturbing. You "chuckle" at your free spirited daughter as she bows to inevitable pressure of conforming to a society which expects girls to "look like girls"

TellMeLater Fri 05-Oct-12 08:34:16

I learnt the costly way on the mummy chooses the clothes to buy. Dd wanted to wear pink and I'd have preferred her to wear a wide range of colours - dd would only wear the girlie things she had in pink, bought by other people or given to us, be they too small or with holes, the rest went unworn, she liked pink at 4 and she still likes pink at 10 - even though none of her friends will be seen dead in it. Don't understand the anti-black thing, then again I don't have set view on how kids should look - they all have their own individual style, just like us.

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