streak-o-rama drama! idiot needs fake tan advice.

[CharlotteBronteSaurus]

i am pale. ghostly, in fact. i would like a teeny tiny bit of a fake tan, not to go Essex brown, but just to take the edge off the bluish white.

anyhow, yesterday i got a boots own brand spray tan thing, exfoliated, sprayed it on, and left it carefully to dry. this morning my legs have developed an interesting travertine-type effect. what did i do wrong, and what products do i need next time?