Unwanted gift(31 Posts)
This is only tenuously linked to S&B but couldn't take the heat of AIBU
And in a 2nd disclaimer I know I'm an ungrateful bitch.
So - some friends have clubbed together and bought me a wardrobe consultation with a personal stylist for my birthday. Initially I felt a bit miffed as I take care with my appearance and don't have trouble putting outfits together and accessorising them etc. I've got over myself now BUT the idea of a stranger coming and poking through my stuff and telling me to keep, what to chuck and what to buy fills me with horror. The thing is I have looked on the stylist's website and I think they have spent £150 on this voucher. I would have loved virtually any other sort of voucher - a facial or skincare consultation would be fab as I have only got crappy Superdrug stuff, or cosmetics makeover as I worship make up and love experimenting with new stuff. Do you think I should ask if the stylist might give a refund? It would be very rude of me I know and I don't want to upset my friends but I just can't stand the thought of a stranger coming to my home and going through my stuff and there are so many other things I'd love.
Firstly, I don't think your an ungrateful bitch. So this person comes to your home and charges you (well not you as your friends have paid) £150 to go through your wardrobe and tell you your stuff is crap? Does the voucher include getting some new things that he recommends?
Yes, ask the stylist for a refund. I'd hate it too.
Thank you switch - no she just advises you on key pieces missing from wardrobe that you should buy so you don't end up with anything new. Thing is I don't have the money to invest in key pieces and tend to wait for the sales. I'm happy with what I've got and confident about how I dress - stylist would probably tell me that things I love don't suit me
I would feel miffed too! And I would probably bring it up with friends as welll....def ask for a refund and spend on some decent cosmetics!
I bet everyone's reading this thinking 'Sparkletastic probably looks like she's been dragged through a hedge backwards and her friends have staged a style intervention'
Honestly I am quite groomed - I have a good range of work outfits and weekend wear. I would say I mainly love dresses but I'm tall, big norks and 'curvy' (ahem - I'm working on this...) so they suit me. I've never been into separates as too much faffing when rushing to get ready for work whilst shrieking at the kids to get up and dressed in the mornings.
Bugger. I've just emailed the stylist to ask whether she would be prepared to do a refund and she came back immediately with a flat 'no'. She says I could change it for a personal shopping appointment instead. Again not appealing as I don't have any money to spend on myself at the mo and if I did I would be fine making my own choices. Oh god what to do
What the hell were your friends thinking buying you such a strange voucher? If you had never hinted that you wanted such a service why do that?
I would definitely make enquiries with the stylist to see if she can refund you. Sounds like money for old rope to me.
Sounds awful to me too.
I think you're going to have to go through with it though.
Words with friends I think.
It is a bit leftfield isn't it Ginge? I think one of them might have thought it was a great plan and the others went along with it. Have spoken to a mutual friend and she said they asked her to contribute but she said it wasn't a great plan and they should get me a MAC or Aveda voucher instead (both of which would have made me wet my knicks in joy and excitement). They didn't like her suggestions so she is getting me a pressie on her own.
I suspect that your friends bought this for you BECAUSE they think you're stylish/care about your appearance. I would loathe this - but because I'm a bit slobby I very much doubt anyone would consider getting a stylist for me.
Maybe I could do the personal shopping thing instead if I ask dh or my folks for money instead of gift for my birthday. Thing is I really want a new pair of boots and know exactly which ones and where to get them so don't need help. We can't really afford for me to buy anything else. It would be rude to Ebay it wouldn't it?
I know it would be
Don't know if this will make you feel any better or not, but I've seen offers for things like this on Groupon lately, so they may not have
wasted spent as much as you think. Agree with jeee that it's meant as a compliment, even if not a very adroit one.
Was just about to post exactly what Jeee said - maybe they thought because you're so put together, you'd enjoy it? But I can see why you're a bit . It's the sort of thing I'd love in principle, then actually take very personally, especially if the stylist wasn't on exactly the same wavelength as me.
If there a time limit on the voucher? Can you regift to your mum/MIL/different friend who won't take it as an insult in time for Christmas?
Can you ask around your family to see if any of them would want it and sell it on to them? Or ebay/gumtree it - regift it to someone for Xmas?
I have to say - I would be happy to get it as a gift - even if it was just an excuse to spend a day playing with clothes!
I wouldn't like someone to come and look through my wardrobe so I can totally agree with you on that! If you know which boots you like then get them and maybe go shopping with the
old bag who won't give you a refund personal shopper. You don't have to buy anything but take notes so you can say to her that you will get these things when you have the money.
You don't sound ungrateful at all.
Perhaps they didn't think through the consultation thing - just thinking that its fashion related and therefore you would love it as you are a fashion/stylish kind of gal. Personally, like you, it would be my idea of hell. And I definitely don't want some woman telling me what to buy either. I have very limited experience of this kind of service but the people that I do know who do it freelance.....well, let's just say I would rather go naked than emulate their style! That's not to say that there aren't great consultants out there and perhaps your lady will be one of them
You aren't going to enjoy it so I don't see the point in enduring it. Is it possible to re-gift it?
I'd have a look on ebay and see if you can see how much the voucher is going for. If it's worth it I'd sell it and get the boots.
I'd also hate it and think it's a weird gift. I too would be seething as I'd LOVe Aveda or Mac vouchers too.
Not ungrateful in the slightest. More annoying as you could buy something you'd really like with that sort of money.
Horns of a dilemma or what?! I was thinking of re-gifting but can't think of anyone who would want it and also then I'd have to fess up to the friends that I hadn't used it or pretend I'd gone through with it (and probably get discovered in my web of lies when it turns out one of them knows the stylist or something). I might just steel myself for the personal shopping thing instead as doesn't involve such a personal invasion. The voucher is valid for several months so if I do get any money as a gift (or manage to save some) I could at least end up with something new at the end of it, albeit paid for out of family budget.
I agree with others that they probably thought you'd enjoy it and didn't think it through fully. Maybe you're so stylish that you're difficult to buy for and they thought it would be more interesting than MAC etc. Or maybe they just saw it on groupon or somewhere and it was a bit of an ill thought out whim.
Anyway, if it was me, I'd wait a few months before redeeming it and then do the personal shopping thing. Then maybe you could ask for money for christmas too and save a bit and it'll feel a bit more worthwhile.
Then the next time you see your friends after doing it just say something like "I did that personal shopping thing last week, it was useful, but I don't think I'd do it again". Then they won't do it again for another birthday/christmas present.
Ok need to thank them as this was given to me on Saturday and I haven't acknowledged it which is v rude. Will thank and say feel wardrobe makeover not for me but will look forward to personal shopping trip. Slightly overstating it as 'dread less' more accurate but seems only thing to do.
Ah thanks saoirse - yes might enjoy shopping trip if I get some funds - rarely go shopping and mostly buy on line so will be novelty. Will tell them that's what I'm doing as don't want to lie about it and as you say best not risk another similar gift in the future - if they are still speaking to me!
I'd love this as a present . Agree with others that it sounds like an ideal gift for someone who's into fashion/stylish so I wouldn't take it the wrong way. Now if Trinny and Susannah had knocked at your door....
Could you not re-gift it to the friend who suggested it?
Or punish the stylist by sending her round to me instead. She would go into a serious depression looking at my measly wardrobe of PerUna jeans and tops acquired from shops that fashion forgot. That'll learn her not to give refunds
Yes I do feel guilty but am not into fashion really just very clear on my own style and sure about what I like. Don't spend much money on clothes though as cant afford to at the mo.
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