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what is deemed suitable for an almost 12yr dd to wear to a funeral

(17 Posts)
Thehusbandsatcricketagain Tue 30-Aug-11 12:58:05

She has mostly jeans,leggings with brightly coloured Ts & don't want to spend £££ on something that will not be re-worn.

Not been to one for 20yrs so what is acceptable,ds is fine as he is only 6 but she is a very grown up girl.

What would you put yours in & sorry if this sounds silly but my brain will not work

said Tue 30-Aug-11 13:02:01

A dress and cardigan? Anything as long as smart and clean, really. I'd avoid jeans but have seen kids in them at funerals. Wouldn't bother about it being a sombre colour, not for a child.

rubyrubyruby Tue 30-Aug-11 13:04:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fluffles Tue 30-Aug-11 13:04:36

school skirt and thick tights with a sweater?
can you lend her a jumper/cardigan?

i think it has to be something quite 'smart' but doesn't have to be black/dark necessarily.

elphabadefiesgravity Tue 30-Aug-11 13:06:01

I would use black or grey school skirt and either white or not too bright coloured blouse/top.

Doyouthinktheysaurus Tue 30-Aug-11 13:09:56

I would just go with something that looks fairly smart and not overfly patterned or bright.

When my FIL died I opted for smart and plain for my ds's (a bit younger) whereas my SIL let my nieces wear just their normal clothes. I am probably painfully old fashioned but I do think children should realise that you dress smart for a funeral. I'm not personally an advocate of black for children though.

tethersend Tue 30-Aug-11 13:30:09

How about this?

tethersend Tue 30-Aug-11 13:30:54

Or this with maroon tights?

niccibabe Tue 30-Aug-11 13:31:40

dark trousers/skirt if she has any and a white/cream/grey/dark top and dark jacket / dark cardigan. If skirt v short, need leggings or tights with it.

dark leggings with a dress over - try not to have the dress too short.

Depends a bit on the type of funeral/type of people attending. If it's a celebration of the life of the person you may find you are asked not to wear black - I have been asked this on a couple of occasions.

People generally make allowances for kids not having full formal attire.

sweetiesue Tue 30-Aug-11 13:34:56

My dd went to her great grandmothers funeral recently and wore the following -
tunic/dress in a swirly pattern of orange, grey and black (sounds odd but really nice), black leggings to mid calf length, black cropped cardi and black ballet pump type shoes. DD felt comfortable and not overly "trussed up" but remained smart and appropriate for her age (nearly 11). People commented that she looked like her and not a mini adult or too dressed up.
I think children should feel comfortable and maybe a little colour might help her feel more relaxed if that is more "her".

Thehusbandsatcricketagain Tue 30-Aug-11 13:57:24

Thanks for the replies,so I guess I should maybe ask my Aunt & cousins what they would want to see the children in (have avoided as don't want them anymore upset than they are) & then get dd to look in her wardrobe & find something I think appropriate & she will feel comfortable in.

tethers the dresses are nice but she would never wear it again so would end up either giving it to a charity shop or ebaying (this feels somehow distasteful) & if I don't buy then the money can go to either of the choosen sue ryder/macmillan

seeker Tue 30-Aug-11 14:01:55

I would ask the family. At my mother's funeral recently we specifically asked for lots of colour and no black- and I surprised myself by being irrationally upset that a couple of people ignored the request.

My dd, who was 15' wore stocking pink trousers, turquoise t shirt and shoes and a yellow cardigan. Her grandma would have approved.

AnnaThePenguin Tue 30-Aug-11 14:04:56

School skirt and black cardi with plain top?

Mind you, we were at a family funeral recently and ds's female friends (ie not girlfriends just friends who are girls oh you know what I mean) had black shorts and tights on and looked fanatastic and pretty smart - you know the kind of smart shorts, not denim, but almost workwear?

Like the colour idea too seeker - my DD would love that

cat64 Tue 30-Aug-11 14:22:13

Message withdrawn

elphabadefiesgravity Tue 30-Aug-11 15:46:45

Blck shorts with black tights are really in at the moment for young girls.

FoundWanting Tue 30-Aug-11 15:58:57

I wish I'd seen this before I had to go shopping this morning.

DD has insisted on wearing black for her Grandmother's funeral, but I don't like to see my DCs in black generally.

We found her a plain jersey dress in H&M in the teenage section, and a black shrug style cardi in the children's bit. The boys are easy - school shirt and trousers and I got a couple of light-weight grey sweaters.

Just got to face the hair-style drama now. Grandma liked her hair 'off her pretty face' and so do I. I'm building up to it now.

Ephiny Tue 30-Aug-11 16:03:36

I agree a dark skirt with a plain top/cardigan should be fine. Doesn't have to be black.

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