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Ear piercing for young girls - when and if?..

(33 Posts)
ShipleyGlen Tue 05-Jul-11 13:13:17

My DD is 4 years old and wants her ears pierced - so that she can wear earrings just like me. She has an older cousin with ears pierced as well and is envious. Her cousin told her it is very very painful, but my DD still says she wants her ears pierced, and wear earring like mummy. In my home country it is pretty much standard to get ears pierced around age 5, and girls who don't,.. they sort of look 'different'. But here in the UK I see a lot of girls who don't have their ears pierced, so not sure what is the norm here, if there is any, and whether having earrings will benefit my girl, or will it be more of a pain - because of not being able to wear them to school etc etc.

I like to wear earrings myself but somehow not all that keen to get my DD's ears pierced at an age when she doesn't fully understand the procedure. Then again if she'll want them pierced anyway, then doing this at a young age is better because children forget the pain so quickly.

Thank you all for your thoughts and wisdom!..

doglover Tue 05-Jul-11 14:00:52

My personal opinion is she is much too young. As a teacher, I find it really inconvenient when little girls (and boys!) have to fiddle around with earrings before and after P.E. lessons. It looks really chavvy - sorry! blush

sheeplikessleep Tue 05-Jul-11 14:05:59

I too think 4 is too young, but each to their own.

mo3d Tue 05-Jul-11 14:07:07

My daughter wanted her ears pierced at 7 so I took her along. She was so nervous she couldn't go through with it. She had them pierced age 8.

I don't think girls of your daughters age look chavvy with their ears pierced, although not too keen on babies with ears pierced.

My eldest daughter has chosen not to have hers done. She's 16.

My youngest (age 9) wants to be a boy, so it's not something she'd consider!

If your daughter is brave enough, then I don't see anything wrong with it. (she can learn to either put tape on her earrings or to take them out when she has PE) smile

TattyDevine Tue 05-Jul-11 14:09:16

I'm thinking secondary school, or as she approaches secondary school, if its her idea and she is adamant that she wants it done and is willing and able to be responsible for them. So, 10/11/12 ish but not 4 personally. Lots of 4 year olds want things mummy has but good things come to those who wait (within reason)

My mum made me wait too long though...so I went and did it myself with my pocket money, she was all dissapointed and pissed off then the following year I got a nose-ring. Ha!

Personally I don't like it on girls under the age of about 12. However, where I live my DD3 is the odd child out almost anywhere we go as ALL baby girls have their ears pierced by about 3 MONTHS shock. Until she was about 18 months strangers assumed she was a boy (even in dresses and obviously being a girl - clips in hair etc) because she doesn't have hers done.

My older two daughters were 12 and 13 when they had theirs done, and now have two or three holes in each ear (they're almost 17 and 18), which I'd prefer them not to, but as I did the same at the same age I don't suppose my argument has much ground!

MissFoodie Tue 05-Jul-11 14:34:10

I was born in Spain where girls have it done at birth (all my friend's girls have them), I did not and would not - I got mine done at 8 but was only ever allowed to wear gold studs, so never had any problems at school, tbh girls never wore big earrings at school until at least 14, a lot more conservative than in the UK!

but, it's one of those tricky subjects that has very differing opinions depending on where you're from/ where you live!

Malcontentinthemiddle Tue 05-Jul-11 14:36:07

My oldest was 13 - I'd said she could after primary school but she didn't bother until end of year 8.

My younger one is 10 and she sort of wants hers done, but I'm holding out for end of primary school.

Think it's horrid on a 4 year old, sorry.

MissFoodie I live in Spain, so you can probably understand my above post. I was amazed for the 6 months at all the nino comments, then it clicked and I realised why!

CrapolaDeVille Tue 05-Jul-11 14:38:49

My dds will have to wait until they're 13. On four year olds I think it look horrid.

MissFoodie Tue 05-Jul-11 14:41:14

Rockstock: one of my british friends lives in Barcelona and had a baby girl last year, the hospital staff could not believe that she DID NOT want her baby's ears pierced! they had the gun at the ready!

my sister's never had hers done and she's 25 (also born in Spain)

MissFoodie Tue 05-Jul-11 14:44:07

and btw, if people think that wearing girl's clothes, with long hair and hair clips she is a boy, it is nothing to do with the fact that she doesn't have her ears pierced....they probably need their eyes testing!

strawberryjelly Tue 05-Jul-11 14:50:07

It's your call- asher mum you are the adult and do what you think is right- not what she asks for!

There will be numerous boundaries she wants to cross re. fashion etc as she grows up and you will have to guide her.

In the light of all the media attention on children being sexual far too young, I'd question if it's right for ear piercing at 4. I know it's not overtly sexual but it could be the thin end of the large wedge!

From a practical point of view- she will need to wear only studs for school due to the danger of getting hoops etc caught and her ears torn.

There is also the chance that schools may ban earrings- so where would that leave you?

I allowed my DD when she was 13. I was 25!

My personal opinion is it looks cheap and chavvy but that's just my opinion.

uninspired Tue 05-Jul-11 14:52:17

I'm being pestered big time by DD (7) as all her friends have got them pierced, whereas at her old school none of them did.

I'm hoping to put her off til Y6

MissF an Argentinian friend had her daughter's ones done practically as her DD came out! She was returning to Arg when her baby was 3 wks for a holiday and said that she couldn't go unless they were done. I had to explain how it's just the opposite in the UK when she was wondering why my chin hit the floor!

When my DD was small, baby like creature she wore jack shit bar a nappy mostly as it's quite warm here funnily enough and even though she undeniably just looked like a girl, they would still coo in that lovely Spanish way (I mean lovely btw) at my nino, and when I pointed out she is in fact my nina they almost all made reference to her non pierced ears. That's not to say there were the odd ones who most definitely needed their eyes tested!!

MissFoodie Tue 05-Jul-11 14:56:38

i know, they literally get it done the day they are born....
have you ever noticed though, that all the dolls you buy in Spain have also got their ears pierced?

archanat10 Tue 05-Jul-11 15:00:31

i dont think its such a big deal in it.but i feel ur dd is 2 small..u shd wait atleast till she turn 10

hattymattie Tue 05-Jul-11 15:03:21

I just did DD2 today - she will be 13 in a month and so can have earrings for her birthday. DD1 I made wait a year longer but I wouldn't do it when they were young - I like little girls to look their age.

I have indeed!

TheSmallClanger Tue 05-Jul-11 15:17:02

DD had hers done at 11, as did quite a lot of her friends.

As well as all the other arguments, I think it's nice to have things to look forward to once you are a Big Girl.

Ephiny Tue 05-Jul-11 15:22:34

I think it's far too young, it would look a bit odd to me to see a 4 year old wearing jewellery.

I had mine done at 12, though they closed up again not long after as I didn't keep the studs in (were too uncomfortable). I've never had them re-done and doubt I ever will, don't see the point any more.

I do remember it being quite sore, would not inflict that on a 4 year old.

msbunbury Tue 05-Jul-11 17:47:06

IMO - chavvy, cheap and verging on abusive (esp on babies). OK at puberty but am still not keen on under 16s. Each to their own though. If your're not keen then why are you contemplating it? Peer pressure?

Flyonthewindscreen Tue 05-Jul-11 17:54:46

I have told my DD (7) she can have hers done when she finishes primary school. She will be 11.5 then. Girls with pierced ears in small minority in her age group atm.

AvonCallingBarksdale Tue 05-Jul-11 17:56:39

OP, I'm interested in why you think it could benefit your DD confused
IMVHO, it looks just horrid on children under the age of about 15 - really chavvy. But I guess it's down to personal taste.

Hulababy Tue 05-Jul-11 18:00:23

I don't like pierced ears on young children. I think it is unnecessary and can't see why people chose to do it tbh. It hurts and there is a risk of it causing infection and being very sore for a while at least. And then there is a risk of the earings getting caught on stuff during play.

I saw a toddler have their ears peirced whilst out shopping once. It was awful - the poor baby screamed and was inconsable for many many minutes afterwards. I personally couldn't do that.

You also need to check school policy as to earrings at school. In some schoos they are banned totally, in others you have to have them removed for PE and in others you can get away with taping them over.

DD is 9y and has no pierced ears. None of her friends have either. DD sometimes wears the odd clip on earring - well she sets off to parties wearing them, but they are off not long after, lol.

DD knows that she isn't allowed earrings at all at her school and the earliest I will consider it is when she leaves primary school, that summer holidays - so she'd be 11y.

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