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Funerals - what do people wear nowadays?

(18 Posts)
Finbar Mon 04-Jul-11 21:33:24

I haven't been to one for a long while thankfully.
Do you just wear anything as long as it's black/sombre, or has everything relaxed a bit now?

EffinNell Mon 04-Jul-11 21:35:03

Not black but yes, sombre. Unless other instructions (eg Auntie Cess wanted everyone to wear purple) .

Sorry for your loss.

bibbitybobbityhat Mon 04-Jul-11 21:35:37

A surprising number of people wore black and sombre clothes at my ddad's funeral recently. I thought the rules had relaxed a little but, no, lots of black and navy, suits for the men, fairly sombre clothes for the women.

MrsCampbellBlack Mon 04-Jul-11 21:36:20

I think it depends a lot on the age of the person really. Unfortunately the last funeral I went to was of a woman in her early 40's who had small children and the request was to dress cheerfully.

However for an older person I would do more sombre but not black purely because I don't wear that colour.

I think as long as you're not in jeans and look respectful then most things are fine.

Mollymax Mon 04-Jul-11 21:37:08

I think if no one has said not to, one should wear black as a sign of respect.
I think it is very different if something has been said.
I did not wear black to my fathers funeral, because I knew he would not have wanted it, but i have worn black to all other funerals.

Finbar Mon 04-Jul-11 21:40:50

Its teh funeral of my best friend's Dad, and as I am her oldest friend and spent lots of time with her while he was will, we are being treated as family and seated at the front etc which is very kind of her.
As far as I know it will be a traditional affair- so I had assumed black , but though I'd do a straw poll out there as its such a long time since I have been to one.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Mon 04-Jul-11 21:41:34

It depends.

The last funeral that I went to, I wore black - including a black hat. Because my grandad always talked about the 'good old days' when people dressed smartly and knew the correct way to behave etc etc, so I knew he would have liked it.

Several years ago, I went to a funeral in a red tunic. Because the wife of the poor chap wanted everyone to wear bright colours.

I have worn a suit, I have worn a dress, I have worn bright colours, I have worn grey, I have worn black.

Some people want bright colours and for others it is very important that it is traditional black and hats and everything. Best to find out the wishes in each case, rather than assuming things are always one way or the other.

wompoopigeon Mon 04-Jul-11 21:47:36

I went to one last week. I'd suggest you wear smart clothes in black, grey, beige, navy- dull colours basically. Don't feel like it has to be head to toe black necessarily.
I had a lot of problems as my only handbags are red, orange, pink or spotty!

MrsTittleMouse Mon 04-Jul-11 21:54:07

I have been to several funerals over the past couple of years. sad The dress code (unless specifically asked) is still to wear dark and sombre colours. It's a mark of respect IMO.

startail Mon 04-Jul-11 22:24:10

Last one I went to was a lot of computer scientists, they managed relatively somber, but were a bit crumpled at the edges. I was all in black purely because I'm a stay at home mum and I have 1 smart black skirt, 1 smart black pair of trousers and 1 smartish, if I breath in, black jacket. Generally I'd put a bright or sparkly top on, but after a various attempts a plain black top was all I had that worked.
I have been to a funeral in summer cotton skirt and top. An old friend of DH died and we happened to be at DMILs on holiday. We had nothing formal with us and our smart clothes were 200 miles away.

janmoomoo Mon 04-Jul-11 22:50:23

Good advice from others to go smart and dark colours (but not strictly black) unless told otherwise. Also there is usually quite a bit of standing around so comfortable shoes is good too.

CointreauVersial Tue 05-Jul-11 13:35:25

Obviously the usual "church" rules apply - no plunging necklines, strappy tops or super-short skirts.

Fluffycloudland77 Tue 05-Jul-11 14:51:13

I have a sleeveless black Calvin Klein dress from tk maxx I use fir funerals, meals out etc.

Can't go wrong and can be accessorised as needed.

archanat10 Tue 05-Jul-11 15:01:24

anything that is black and sombre wud be perfect

plainwhitet Tue 05-Jul-11 19:48:52

i read somewhere that it is a good idea (if you don't know the dress code) to go in sombre colours but to take in your bag something jolly/bright in case it is bright colours (eg a scarf if you are a scarf wearer).

wicketkeeper Tue 05-Jul-11 20:35:25

I'm going to one on Friday - I'm planning to wear black smart trousers, black court shoes, a black/white patterned top, and a grey coat (I don't have a black one) if the weather is poor. Hope that helps.

ThornTree Tue 05-Jul-11 22:09:36

I went to DH's Grandmothers 2 weeks ago.
I wore a black dress and black heels. Everyone wore sombre dark colours.
DD wore a smart outfit but not black. she is 9.
Unless specifically requested I think it best to go traditional and smart.

Finbar Thu 07-Jul-11 18:38:11

Thanks for all your tips. I am very happy to go in black/sombre. Just need to see what the weather will be like too. Good point about the comfortable shoes!

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