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A surprising number of people wore black and sombre clothes at my ddad's funeral recently. I thought the rules had relaxed a little but, no, lots of black and navy, suits for the men, fairly sombre clothes for the women.
I think if no one has said not to, one should wear black as a sign of respect. I think it is very different if something has been said. I did not wear black to my fathers funeral, because I knew he would not have wanted it, but i have worn black to all other funerals.
Its teh funeral of my best friend's Dad, and as I am her oldest friend and spent lots of time with her while he was will, we are being treated as family and seated at the front etc which is very kind of her. As far as I know it will be a traditional affair- so I had assumed black , but though I'd do a straw poll out there as its such a long time since I have been to one.
The last funeral that I went to, I wore black - including a black hat. Because my grandad always talked about the 'good old days' when people dressed smartly and knew the correct way to behave etc etc, so I knew he would have liked it.
Several years ago, I went to a funeral in a red tunic. Because the wife of the poor chap wanted everyone to wear bright colours.
I have worn a suit, I have worn a dress, I have worn bright colours, I have worn grey, I have worn black.
Some people want bright colours and for others it is very important that it is traditional black and hats and everything. Best to find out the wishes in each case, rather than assuming things are always one way or the other.
I went to one last week. I'd suggest you wear smart clothes in black, grey, beige, navy- dull colours basically. Don't feel like it has to be head to toe black necessarily. I had a lot of problems as my only handbags are red, orange, pink or spotty!
Last one I went to was a lot of computer scientists, they managed relatively somber, but were a bit crumpled at the edges. I was all in black purely because I'm a stay at home mum and I have 1 smart black skirt, 1 smart black pair of trousers and 1 smartish, if I breath in, black jacket. Generally I'd put a bright or sparkly top on, but after a various attempts a plain black top was all I had that worked. I have been to a funeral in summer cotton skirt and top. An old friend of DH died and we happened to be at DMILs on holiday. We had nothing formal with us and our smart clothes were 200 miles away.
i read somewhere that it is a good idea (if you don't know the dress code) to go in sombre colours but to take in your bag something jolly/bright in case it is bright colours (eg a scarf if you are a scarf wearer).
I'm going to one on Friday - I'm planning to wear black smart trousers, black court shoes, a black/white patterned top, and a grey coat (I don't have a black one) if the weather is poor. Hope that helps.
I went to DH's Grandmothers 2 weeks ago. I wore a black dress and black heels. Everyone wore sombre dark colours. DD wore a smart outfit but not black. she is 9. Unless specifically requested I think it best to go traditional and smart.