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What you wear and other women...

(24 Posts)
pinktortoise Wed 29-Jun-11 12:44:25

Last Friday evening we had to go to DS s hockey club for a presentation event. Nothing big just everyone getting a medal a few drinks etc. So I wore - skinny cargoes, sandals, a vest top and a linen sort of short blazer jacket. My hair , makeup , nails were done just as normal. Anyway three women made comments on my appearance in that kind of complimentary but actually critical way. Eg "oh, I didn't realise it was a dress up event" , "oh, I was too busy to get all glammed up" and the worst one "whose husband are you after?"
So now I am questioning the way I dress. I didn't make an extra special effort for the event, I thought I was dressed appropriately for going out with my family. Yes I like clothes, yes I like to look nice but am now thinking I should dress down more. We have another of these social kind of things next month am thinking jeans and converse.

colditz Wed 29-Jun-11 12:47:24

Are you slim and pretty? Don't dress down because I guarantee that they had a twinge of envy and next time they will make more effort.

wordsonapage Wed 29-Jun-11 12:49:06

Its probably because you are a pink tortoise.

TBH any clothes you wear are going to look distinctly odd

UML Wed 29-Jun-11 12:49:31

Some people will say things out of jealousy.

Sometimes people have their own insecurities, and so are nasty to others.

Don't worry about what people say - what they say is a reflection of their own poor character.

animula Wed 29-Jun-11 12:55:19

Ignore and be happy.

A friend made me actually cry once, taking me to task for my shoes (my shoes!!) which were, apparently, inappropriate to my status as "an unemployed mother of two". It's all about stuff going on with them.

Personally, I like it when I see other people looking interesting and I'm sure there were lots of people there like me. They just kept their thoughts on the inside.

clitorisorclitoraint Wed 29-Jun-11 12:55:54

Sounds like a stealth boast to me, sorry.

FranSanDisco Wed 29-Jun-11 12:58:21

It's the cross us beautiful women have to bear - envy grin. I tend to agree with the 'clit', your OP sounds like a little boast to me.

BooyHoo Wed 29-Jun-11 12:59:12

ignore, they were being bitchy. dont dress down for anyone if that is how you normally dress. you wouldn't fee comfortable if you always dressed according to what otehrs thought you should wear.

Butterbur Wed 29-Jun-11 12:59:49

No one ever comments on my appearance, apart from an occasional "you look nice". Nor do I comment on other peoples'.

I wouldn't dream of telling anyone they were wearing innappropriate shoes. How very rude!

pinktortoise Wed 29-Jun-11 13:02:00

Not a stealth boast. I came away from the evening feeling uncomfortable and have since been questioning what I wear eg on Monday when it was really hot I decided not to wear a sundress to take kids to school in case I was seen as too dressed up. Wore three quarter length chinos instead. And was boiling.

clit Wed 29-Jun-11 13:03:01

Hehe FranSan. 'clit' is so much more succinct and I can't believe it hasn't been taken grin

FranSanDisco Wed 29-Jun-11 13:04:08

Oh I want to be 'The Clit' - too many clits though smile

TrilllianAstra Wed 29-Jun-11 13:07:22

That sounds like perfeclty normal walking-around clothes to me, not dressed up at all.

They are bonkers. Do not let them determine how you dress.

BulletWithAName Wed 29-Jun-11 13:52:02

They think what you were wearing is over dressed?! What were they wearing? A sick stained nightie? grin

Ignore the harpies, I get this sort of shit all the time.

cruelladepoppins Wed 29-Jun-11 16:52:41

Nah, says more about them than it does about you. Gracious smile should cover it.

Littlepumpkinpie Wed 29-Jun-11 17:08:15

Do not question that that what you wore was over dressed it sounds to me like you was smart casual wear. I would of worn same sort of thing with make up on ect smile

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 29-Jun-11 18:17:03

Well I hope I never bump into your friends - never knowingly underdressed me wink

Seriously - taking pride in how you look and wearing make up etc are not crimes in this country - its fun and I find I feel better when I think I'm looking good.

And as regards stealth boasting - do remember one can only post that one is fat ugly and dressed in an outfit that cost less than £3 or you will be accused of this wink

bigTillyMint Wed 29-Jun-11 18:20:09

Wear what you want to wear and hold your head high - if they made snide comments, they are either jealous or worried that they look frumpy. smile

bigbadbarry Wed 29-Jun-11 18:32:51

I said to a friend " oh I didn't realise we were dressing up" one, years ago, and still remember it because as soon as it was out of my mouth I felt awful! As i knew it would make her feel like you do. I absolutely hadn't meant anything snide by it, and would have phrased it much better as "you look nice". Perhaps they have foot in mouth issues like I do?

talkingnonsense Wed 29-Jun-11 18:56:29

Maybe you are one of those lucky people who wears clothes well- my dsis, for example, could wear a sack and look like a fashion shoot- so perhaps the overall effect was very chic?

pinktortoise Wed 29-Jun-11 19:00:38

Thank you for the encouraging remarks - I will continue to dress as I like and try not to worry about what others think. I agree mrs cb that I always feel better when I think I look good and my confidence is obviously tied up with this. So when people criticise it does dent that confidence , and no bigbadbarry I don't think these people have foot in mouth issues I think they know what they are doing! They wouldn't have been as considerate as you to even give it a second thought.
Luckily these people are not friends just acquaintances that we have to socialise with through the sports stuff.
Next time I'll wear a dress and killer heels. (wink)

superjobeespecs Wed 29-Jun-11 19:04:23

ive had this before, doesnt even matter if your wee and skinny (cos i aint!!) anyone seen to have made an effort with their appearance is a 'threat' to women like that. not all of coarse, just seems to me that the snide attitude is jealousy/insecurity or maybe i really do look like overdone compared to them but i stay quite casual just nice casual hmm that makes sense in my head grin

partyhats Wed 29-Jun-11 19:08:47

They were probably just jealous that you looked nice and I don't think your post by a by stealth boast at all. I always try to look smart even though have 3 young ones, does'nt take much effort to look well put together and I enjoy it. I am probably one of the smarter dressers than the other mums at school but I don't care what they think, if they can't be arsed to smarten up thats their issue. I could never be a jeans and t shirt trainers sort of girl.

wrongdecade Wed 29-Jun-11 19:18:01

A friend made me actually cry once, taking me to task for my shoes (my shoes!!) which were, apparently, inappropriate to my status as "an unemployed mother of two". It's all about stuff going on with them.

omg Amimula & OP thats mental

what sort of shoes shoul an unemployed mother wear??

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