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Ok - who has realised that since hitting the menopause somehow we've turned into our mother?

(47 Posts)
Shineything Sun 12-Jun-11 22:54:49

It's scary and I don't like it - I looked nothing like her until the last few years (am 49) - how did that happen?

dottyaboutstripes Mon 13-Jun-11 09:47:30

I haven't hit the menopause but if and when I turn into my mother I might well kill myself

crazynanna Mon 13-Jun-11 09:53:13

I was peeling the spuds the other day at the kitchen sink,and my brother said "You just look like mum standing there!" shock

ggirl Mon 13-Jun-11 09:59:28

I am 49 on wed
loads of people say I am exactly like my mum
I want to stab them when they say it
My hair is a completely different colour to hers for gods sake..and she fucking 76 yrs old ffs!!

MrsFlittersnoop Mon 13-Jun-11 10:21:34

Not my mum- she is 7" shorter than me and of weeny petite build. Far more scary - I look just like my strapping Northern/Viking-stock Grandmother! This is most alarming.

Realised this morning I am 3 stone heavier than I was 10 years ago, and I need to lose about 20% of my bodyweight to alleviate various age-related ailments <self-pitying emoticon>

<lumbers over to Big Slim Whatever thread for tea and sympathy>

wendihouse22 Mon 13-Jun-11 15:31:53

Apparently, according to my beloved mother yesterday, I look "the image of your nana". A lady I don't remember as she died when I was little. However, the photos show her to be a homely woman, sporting a blue rinse-style hairdo at 40 and about 5ft 3" and 18 stones. So, in essence, I am cubewoman. With wrinkles. And old lady hair.

I'm 49 in Sept and am becoming obsessed with what I can do to NOT look so shagged out. Don't tell me to drink loads of water, I'm never off the sodding toilet these days. Elle McPherson never mentions that, does she? Having to leap off the catwalk, crosslegged and desperate for a pee.

Any suggestions?

Ormirian Mon 13-Jun-11 16:08:25

Ahhh..... my terror! Actually worse than my mother is my auntie - similar build to me and I live in terror of looking quite so big and looming in my later years. She used to frighten body builders hmm But she also looked generally cross - I don't. Hoping that isn't the only difference,....

But mum rang me yesterday and said that she had a pink suit that she hasn't worn for years and would I like it <weeps quietly> She's always done this and I have a whole section of my wardrobe full of 'things mother can't fit into anymore' which I wouldn't be seen dead in. But it feels worse now because there is small cringing part of me that wonders if those are the sort of clothes post-menopausal women are supposed to wear hmm

doodledaisy Mon 13-Jun-11 16:20:20

Oh yes, there is no hope. And I'm only 38 and already menopausal. It's so depressing, I look at my hands and it's like looking at my mothers. And I've got my nana's knees. My husband said the last lot of holiday photos look like we took my mum with us! Cheeky sod!

aliceliddell Mon 13-Jun-11 16:38:06

I do not look like my mother, I sound like her mother. According to my Dad, anyway. It's hard to tell as my mum died at 46, she hadn't completed menopause. But my nan was a miserable sod tragic figure. No wonder since she had 3 children under three by 1937. They were poor even by standards of 1930's Lewisham, so she had no money, nowhere to dry all those nappies etc. And then she was put on barbiturates, and went a little bit mad.

wendihouse22 Mon 13-Jun-11 17:02:20

Oh God....aliceliddel. Sounds sad. I guess if I live as long as my mum and look like her, it will mean I didn't die young. We all get to age ........ if we're lucky. smile

alice15 Mon 13-Jun-11 17:19:50

Mirror, mirror, on the wall:
My God, I'm my mother after all!

CointreauVersial Mon 13-Jun-11 17:52:29

I sound just like my mum, possibly even behave the same (bossy/opinionated), but we look very different - in fact, for many years she was considerably slimmer and fitter than me! Nothing worse than having a marathon-running size-10 mother, when you can barely get off the sofa. grin

chipstick10 Mon 13-Jun-11 18:57:42

My darling mum had very poor health and so in that respect i wouldnt want to be like her, in every other way i would be honered and proud to look like her. And i miss her every single day. sad

Adversecamber Mon 13-Jun-11 19:05:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

borderslass Mon 13-Jun-11 19:21:18

I'm all ready going through the menopause at 40 have been for about 3 years but have been turning into my mother for years in more ways than one, however she was early 50's before she went through 'the change' as her generation call it.

limitedperiodonly Mon 13-Jun-11 19:28:34

About six months ago I stopped scraping my hair back in a top-knot in front of DH because it makes me look like my mum when she's got her hair in tight curlers.

It's okay if I build up a kind of little beehive with a couple of hairpins to soften it. I don't know how long that trick will last though.

ThisIsJustASagaNow Mon 13-Jun-11 19:31:24

Omg I think this is happening to me too (46). It's really starting to bug me - we're not alike in character at all, and yet my face in repose is just the same.

PurpleLostPrincess Mon 13-Jun-11 19:47:55

It's been drummed into me all my life that I am the image of my Mum, and now all my parents go on about is how much my DD's are like me when I was little. I get people mistaking me for her on the phone too...

I had a hysterectomy aged 32 (I'm 34 now), and have a cyst on my ovary now so will probably have my ovaries out, resulting in clinical menopause, yikes!!! My mum was soooooo grumpy when she had hers, at age 38 shock!!!

In character however, I'm very much like my Dad, so hopefully I will continue to have his character, although she is a strong woman...

Amiable Mon 13-Jun-11 19:48:23

I accepted several years ago that I was turning into my mum - I do sound a lot like her. To the extent that when I phone up my parents house and my Dad answers I now always say "Hi, It's Amiable", as we have had several very confusing conversations where he thought I was mum!

As for looks, I am happy to say that mum is a very youthful looking 63, so happy to take after her in that regard!

However, one thing I did not expect was that DH would turn into MY Dad - they are so alike now it's scary!

FrameyMcFrame Mon 13-Jun-11 21:17:37

I'm hoping to turn into my Mum rather than be like the women on my Dad's side.
Mum is slim sprightly and still jogs at 78!!! She's Amazing, however I take after my Aunties who are wobbly double chinned types with bad knees sad

amothersplaceisinthewrong Mon 13-Jun-11 21:53:37

I am praying I don't turn into my Mother - she is five inches shorter than me and about four stone heavier. Plus she can be so miserable and grumpy (aged 76)

MirandaGoshawk Mon 13-Jun-11 22:14:34

What worries me is that DH is turning into his dad - the stance (leans back, hands on hips), the fleshy face, the 'roomy' trousers. DH used to be so slim & handsome, and I don't fancy his dad.

Dumbledoresgirl Mon 13-Jun-11 22:20:10

I have always been like my mum. I can remember my (older) brother and sister laughing at me when I was about 20 because I said or did something that was straight from my mother.

I have always looked like her (at a comparable age obviously, I am in my mid 40s and my mother is 79, so I don't look like an old lady).

My mother and I have always had a certain degree of friction in our relationship and my father long ago explained to me that it is because we are too alike.

It does cause me grief sometimes, realising I am my mother all over again, but mostly, I am used to it. And she isn't a terrible role model tbh.

Dumbledoresgirl Mon 13-Jun-11 22:21:40

Oh god, yes, dh is getting more and more like his father who is not a very attractive person all in all.

It is infinitely more alarming for me to see dh turning into his father than it is for me to accept I am my mother all over again.

Deaddei Mon 13-Jun-11 22:58:12

I found a photo of my mum in 1959 when she was 38, looking about 55.
Permed hair, pinny, slippers....and I wasn't even born.
I remember her putting on loads of weight round her middle in menopause- she always wore a foundation garment to hide it.
I am 51 and resemble her, but if I start wearing a housecoat or hairnets, shoot me.

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