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Help me decide what to wear to my mothers funeral.

(22 Posts)
Callisto Mon 30-May-11 13:03:46

Hi all,

My mum died on Saturday (after a long, hideously drawn out illness - so there is relief mixed with sadness) and as I was driving home this am, having spent the last couple of days with my father, I got to thinking about the funeral. It struck me that I have absolutely nothing that is either suitable or that I want to wear.

Now my mum was a pretty stylish lady and I don't want to let her down, so does anyone have any suggestions for me? I would prefer trousers (have quite chunky legs) though I'm happy to wear a dress or skirt. I don't want to wear black particularly - I don't recall Mum ever wearing black in her life plus I feel funerals should be about celebrating the life of that person and black can be a bit depressing. I have a budget of around £100 for clothes and shoes, I'm a size 10/12, 5'6", reddish-brown hair, pale skin.

Thanks everyone.

Theyremybiscuits Mon 30-May-11 13:08:37

Sorry you have lost your mum sweetheart.

Mine was different in that my mum LOVED black! So most of us wore that.

When you described yourself I instantly thought of an outfit or dress in a deep mossy green, with some striking jewellery?

I hope you feel comfy in what you wear, and the day goes fine for you and yours x

Megatron Mon 30-May-11 13:09:46

I'm so sorry for your loss. I would wear something you feel comfortable in and that you think your mum would like. I lost my mum last year and I wore a dark grey skirt suit (my mum would have been horrified if I'd worn trousers to a funeral, bless her) and a fushia pink blouse as that was her favourite colour. Stay strong and I hope the funeral goes as well as these things can. x

Callisto Mon 30-May-11 13:15:09

Good point about trousers - my mum would definitely disapprove of trousers at a funeral. Guess I'll mainly be looking for dresses then...

Thanks for the thoughts.

Ruprekt Mon 30-May-11 13:17:27


so sorry for your loss.

think you could add some colour if you wanted too and you could wear it again.

Ruprekt Mon 30-May-11 13:18:28


BinEnd Mon 30-May-11 13:30:30

So sorry about your loss but understand totally when you say that there is relief there also.

You have similar colouring to me and I would wear both those dresses ruprekt linked to. If you're not comfortable with your legs - go for opaque tights.

Callisto Mon 30-May-11 17:03:11

Thanks everyone, I like those dresses, but I was thinking of something a little lighter and brighter. Do you think it would be wildly inappropriate to wear something like one of these dresses with a dark cardi?



CoffeeIsMyFriend Mon 30-May-11 17:06:02

I like the monsoon dress.

So sorry about your Mum. x

polyhymnia Mon 30-May-11 17:12:33

Very sorry for your loss and the tough time that preceded it.

You should wear what you feel most comfortable and right in, but must say I do prefer the two Ruprekt posted - which were both very smart and classy, yet feminine and youthful. They could both be teamed with brighter/lighter acccessories.

Don't think your suggestions are inappropriate, but, to me, that first M and S one doesn't look quite special enough and the second perhaps a bit too shiny and pale (though very hard to tell online). I think the Monsoon ones are OK - the second perhaps a bit wintery? I just really like the other two. But you know what sort of thing your mum would have liked.

polyhymnia Mon 30-May-11 17:13:52

PS Perhaps Hobbs would be somewhere worth looking in too.

EssentialFattyAcid Mon 30-May-11 17:19:53

If you want to clebrate life then ditch the black and dark colours. I have been to a funeral like this. However you should be sure to brief the other attendees as to what the dress code is and why, otherwise you risk that some will wear black and judge you as disrespectful or else wish they had worn a colour themselves.

The Marianne dress is the nicest imo.

Callisto Mon 30-May-11 17:23:06

I've just noticed that the purple is out of stock, and I think the grey might make me look pregnant. I'll keep looking. Thanks.

DonaAna Mon 30-May-11 17:38:45

So sorry about your loss! Did your mum love a particular outfit / style or shape of dress / color on you? Or did she like your hair in a particular way? I'd dress in something she admired or wanted to see me in.

The patterned dresses Callisto linked to looked a bit too everyday to me. I'd probably pure black just because its both conventional and convenient. But it sounds like autumn colors might suit you really well, too, or perhaps rich jewel tones. I'd probably do solid color, unless I could find a really pretty patterned dress.

DonaAna Mon 30-May-11 17:41:50

Check out the Jaeger sale on the other thread - some of the more architectural dresses looked quite good there.

Callisto Mon 30-May-11 22:14:18

What do we think of this: blue silk

It's a bit (a lot) out of my price range, but I do like it. Not sure if it's suitable for a funeral or a 40 year old though...

Thanks everyone for all of the other suggestions, I'm slowly narrowing it down.

EssentialFattyAcid Tue 31-May-11 08:33:49

Hobbs purple dress

colourfairy Tue 31-May-11 08:58:28

Hi, Callisto,
really sorry about your Mum. Check out kettlewell colours, from your description of yourself aubergine might be good, they do a v elegant maxi skirt, I'm 5'6 too and it covers as much as trousers but is more um skirty! There's a variety of tops, I like the 3/4 sleev crossover ruched in Aubergine, if you have a good waist it will look great, if a tube like me it creates one. You will need a camisole and a lighter colour would add a bit of brightness without being too much. You cd pick up a pashmina style scarf.
I really hope you find something that you feel good in as it will make the funeral day so much easier for you.
Hope this is a bit of use,
good luck,

Megatron Tue 31-May-11 09:15:39

I like the blue silk dress Callisto, and really love the Hobbs one that Essential has posted. Hope you find something soon.

Callisto Tue 31-May-11 15:25:25

I love both, but they are way over budget plus I will need to buy shoes.

How about this one: Planet

Callisto Tue 31-May-11 15:29:05

And if I did buy this one, what colour shoes and cardi should I wear with it? I do have some brown wedge sandles that are smart, very similar to the shoes worn with the blue silk dress, would they do? And if I go brown shoes, what colour cardi would go with brown and navy? Arrggg, too confusing.

FebreezeYourJeans Tue 31-May-11 16:09:58

this is a gorgeous dress

I agree with FattyAcid if you go with a bright colour, please let other guests know that that is your preference.

I hope it is a true celebration of your Mum's life. Wishing you strength for the day.

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