I've seen people wearing a style of dress I like. What on earth is it (dubious description contained within)?

[ShowOfHands]

Okay, so I'm not allowed to post on s&b as I am a fashion pariah. Undoubtedly, there is an alarm going off at hq and later I'll be taken round the back and shot. But, can you help me first?

I see the Great British Public looking effortlessly stylish as I plod past them in a state that can only be described as 'clothed at least'. I keep seeing the same dress. Well not the same dress. I'm certain they're just similar dresses or there's some kind of rent a dress shop near my house and this is in the popular range. Either way, I like it/them.

I'm babbling. I don't belong here you see.

It's a maxi dress. That much I know. But long. Really long. Like touch the floor long. And generally it's dark in colour. Usually black, sometimes grey. And it's not all flowy and billowy like a game gal in a sanitary product advert. It's clingy but not. It sort of looks like it's made of a heavier/thicker material than the cotton/silk maxi dresses. It sort of pools at your feet and calves. You can see people have legs when they're wearing them.

Does anybody know what I'm talking about? I see them all over the place.

I'm probably not describing it very well. I am aware that what I am essentially asking is if you can distinguish one long black dress from another. I can't. Clearly.

[BelligerentGhoul]

I have no idea, sorry but I love your description so I couldn't ignore you!

Maybe Warehouse?

If it's everywhere though, it's probably from The Hell Hole That Is Primark.

[Fimbo]

I have one, which I got from Greenwich market for a tenner about 18 months ago before they were at their hype. Sorry not much good am I?

[OrmRenewed]

"And it's not all flowy and billowy like a game gal in a sanitary product advert."

Probably Can't help but that is brilliant

The fabric sounds like jersey. What's the top like? Sleeves or not?

[ShowOfHands]

It's not always the same dress to clarify. As in, there are lots of them with different, er, necklines? Straps? It's just the material and the way it hangs.

And I'm not going in Primark. I'm being shot later. I have enough on.

Er, is Warehouse a shop?

[OrmRenewed]

I got a maxi dress from White Stuff - fabric like that. But it's strappy and purple. Also not as long as you want but I am absurdly tall. Does that help at all ? pgrin]

[ShowOfHands]

Jersey? That's a material right? Not just something an American wears on his day off?

I just want somebody to say 'oh you can buy one from here'. I've tried searching, but 'long black maxi dress' brings up approximately 1,34,482,485,495,393,902 hits. I can't even say that.

[OrmRenewed]

jersey

[BelligerentGhoul]

Yes, Warehouse is a shop. Sometimes it has nice dresses. Mostly it has horrible flouncy stupid things.

[Fimbo]

this type of thing?

Disclaimer - I do not like the strapless/halterneck versions.

Yes Warehouse is a shop there is one in Chapelfield and possibly a concession in House of Fraser iirc.

[ShowOfHands]

I've seen them with sleeves. Long sleeves, short sleeves etc. I think it's the material that's different.

Usually worn by effortlessly pretty young things, coupled with short denim jackets with 3/4 length sleeves, lots of jangly or wooden bangles, flip flops with toe-posts and jewels, a discreet nose stud and messy but stylish hair, seemingly scraped back and make-up free but lovely fresh face with no wrinkles. Maybe a pretty headscarf.

You must have seen her. She's everywhere here. Of course it's Norfolk. It's not like the rest of the world.

I can't look like her. I'm a realist. I just want her dress.

[Fimbo]

Norfolk's the problem SOH (nods head and taps nose).

[Fimbo]

TBH you need to go and try them on. Chapefield is your friend.

[Drusilla]

something like this?

[notwavingjustironing]

Next time you see her, trip her up and ask her where she got her frock from.

Job done.

HTH

[ShowOfHands]

Reality, you're useless. Kind, but useless.

Those links aren't right. Too sticky outy. It needs to, er, 'puddle'. I've probably invented a fashion term. It doesn't flare out and engulf toddlers as you stride down the street. It sort of moulds to your legs.

Ooh I know where House of Fraser is. You cut through it from the carpark whilst ignoring the disgusted gaze of the chic assistants. I try to wear my 'I don't belong here' t-shirt when running through in the direction of the escalators out of Chapelfield. The have a kitchen bit. £17 for a tin opener. Didn't do anything else, just opened tins.

[OrmRenewed]

But that's the point of jersey - it doesn't actually stick out, it falls and hangs and clings. The picture is just showing the shape of the dress. try searching for black jersey maxi dress - it might narrow the search a little.

[ShowOfHands]

Drusilla, the bottom of that one is what I mean. Even described as 'clingy ankle length design'.

I'm going to have to Go Shopping aren't I?

Eugh.

Chapelfield it is.

[Rockbird]

I have no idea, also being a S&B pariah, but if you wrote for fashion magazines I might not be

[ShowOfHands]

I tried searching for 'black jersey maxi dress' on ebay. Bit hard to tell what it is that you're purchasing when it's flung on a crumpled duvet and photographed with an over zealous flash isn't it?

[ShowOfHands]

This sort of thing must be what I am looking for.

What does size 8 mean? I remember that from the olden days.

[itstheyearzero]

I have this one Looks a lot nicer on than on the picture.

[animula]

Is it one of these new look dresses? They have hundreds (well, maybe 10) different styles, but that sort of thing?

[notasize10yetbutoneday]

Hilarious OP.

this kind of thing?

I think it would be clingier if she wasnt clutching at it like a toddler needing a wee.