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Student daughter just had surprise baby - help!

(21 Posts)
Mumof3dogs Sat 07-Oct-17 05:27:09

Just that
On my way to see her now . What do we do - what are her rights etc?
Boyfriend pressuring her to have baby adopted, can she oppose it and keep bay and force him to pay for her ?
Also what about housing as she will probably lose student housing so have no where to live - should council house her?
This is all made so much harder as we live abroad - mid Europe!
Any thoughts/ experience welcome!

Out2pasture Sat 07-Oct-17 05:31:12

universities often have daycare and facilities for parent and child, start there unless she doesn't want to continue with her studies.
is your daughter from the uk or her partner?

Chottie Sat 07-Oct-17 05:31:35

Please just go and give your daughter a hug and tell her that you love her...

Then, let her tell you what her plans for the future are. Listen and support her in her decisions.

She's probably feeling very vulnerable now.

AdalindSchade Sat 07-Oct-17 05:33:20

She can’t be forced to adopt the baby and yes she can get him to pay maintenance eventually.
this happens more often then you’d think. My team had 3 surprise babies to students in 2016.

HollyBollyBooBoo Sat 07-Oct-17 05:33:34

Oh my gosh what a shock for everyone, I hope she's ok?

Is she in mid Europe or when you say we do you mean you? I only ask as it'll change the advice on what's she's entitled to.

In UK, As the mother of the child she has automatic parental rights. The father of the child (assuming they are not married) does not unless he is named on the birth certificate. Of course he can't force her to give the child up.

tocas Sat 07-Oct-17 05:35:32

What exactly do you mean by "surprise"?

Being with her and supporting her day to day is the most important thing you can do right now flowers

Mumof3dogs Sat 07-Oct-17 05:50:51

We live in Europe, we are from the uk . She is at university in the uk
Surprise means she found out 3 weeks ago , then found out too far to have abortion . Then before chance to have care she gave birth on weds
Will find out more when I get there

Out2pasture Sat 07-Oct-17 05:53:01

Congratulations tbusmile

Raisinbrain Sat 07-Oct-17 05:57:39

I had a baby as a student back in 2005. I was allowed housing benefit and income support as a single parent. I lived in a two bedroom terrace house. The university offered heavily subsidised childcare and a year off. All very doable. The benefits system has changed since then though.
Congratulations flowers

Raisinbrain Sat 07-Oct-17 05:58:09

Never received a penny from the baby’s father though! Thanks CSA.

Afreshstartplease Sat 07-Oct-17 06:04:23

What a shock!

Congratulations to your dd though

Of course she should keep her baby if thats what she wants to do!

bakingcupcakes Sat 07-Oct-17 06:39:06

This happened to my friend on an 18-30 holiday in our 1st year of uni. Her Mum had to go and collect her and the baby from Spain! She took a year out and claimed benefits then went back. Dad didn't pay anything though.

Congratulations! flowers When will you get there?

donajimena Sat 07-Oct-17 06:44:33

Congratulations. She can probably stay at university. I'm in Wales so it might be slightly different but here you get maintenance loan, special support grant housing benefit plus other child related benefits that you would receive anyway.
I can't speak for now but a return next year is definitely possible.

PotteringAlong Sat 07-Oct-17 06:46:55

She gave birth on Wednesday? It's Saturday! Why were you not there on Thursday? If you're mid Europe you literally could have driven to her quicker!

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 Sat 07-Oct-17 06:55:38

force him to pay for her ?

She can't "force" him to pay her, no, and thank god. He shouldn't have to fund the mother of his baby's lifestyle for the next X amount of years.

She can however go through official channels to try and get maintenance off him, which he should rightly pay.

However, the maintenance is for the baby, not for your daughter, so she still needs to support herself.

supersop60 Sat 07-Oct-17 07:19:34

what - I think that's what OP meant - maintenance for the baby, not for its mother.

Mummyoflittledragon Sat 07-Oct-17 07:21:56

Has she registered the birth? It would be wise not to put his name on the birth certificate. He will then have no parental rights.

Gunpowder Sat 07-Oct-17 07:22:26

Of course it must be an awful shock but how exciting as well! A surprise grandchild! Hope they are both doing ok, OP.

Mummyoflittledragon Sat 07-Oct-17 07:23:51

Sorry I meant that as in protecting her from his pushing for adoption, which he can’t do anyway without her consent. In relation to maintenance, absolutely go through official Channels.

dementedpixie Sat 07-Oct-17 07:25:47

He wouldn't be able to go on the birth certificate unless he went with her to register the birth as they aren't married

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 Sat 07-Oct-17 07:35:01

supersop60 Yeah, could be, if the baby is a girl.

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