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Likely to let me off non attendance because of this?

(13 Posts)
Saphwoodman Mon 11-Jan-16 11:51:37

Hi
I'm studying law second year at uni. I live about 30 miles away from the uni and drive there and back 3 days a week whilst my mum looks after my son. Attendance is recorded at my uni.

the year hasn't gone well although I'm adamant that I won't defer or quit. I have missed about 4 assignments (all of which I can re sit in a few months) I've also not been attending as much as I had done in the previous year. Mainly due to my son. He was born premature Christmas 2014. Because of that he's encountered many issues. He is a year old and weighs 16lbs, he is very underweight. He can sit up but can not crawl nor walk yet and has development issues as well as sereve Athsma which means he is sick after eating so much so that he refuses to eat and looses more weight! Because of his low weight he can't sleep the night with out a bottle meaning I'm still getting up as much times as I was when he was a newborn. He won't let me go. When he's at my mums she often phones me and asks me to come home from uni because he is just hates being there and prefers being with either me or his dad.

To top it off I have just found out I'm 13 weeks pregnant and me myself am suffering from sereve morning sickness.

I haven't been in since the new term started. I'm only in Monday's Thursday's and Friday's. I haven't gone in today because I feel so off and my son has kept me up until 5am and was supposed to start at 10am.

I intend to go in on Thursday because boyfriend has a day off, I'm hoping ds will stay with him ok. If it was just down to my sickness I could battle it and go in but this problems make it ten times harder. I have an appointment with a neonatal consultant at the hospital later tomorrow which I'm hoping will help me a bit sad

Do you think the uni are likely to accept this reasons and let me off a bit?

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies Mon 11-Jan-16 11:56:42

I would certainly expect the university to be sympathetic - although you might want to speak to someone in student services to support you when you talk to your department.

But - and I don't think you're going to want to hear this - I think that at some point you may have to accept that you will need to defer. This isn't an admission of failure in any way. It just sounds like your situation at the moment is so tricky that you're not going to be doing yourself justice.

Remember, though, your university will want to support you - because (a) people will be concerned about you as a person, and (b) drop out rates are monitored. So don't be scared to ask for help.

Lolimax Mon 11-Jan-16 11:58:50

I'm all for stretching yourself but to be honest I'm wondering are you now stretching yourself too thin? You have a young child who has high levels of needs and are now pregnant again so you can't even reassure your tutors that life will get better. Maybe deferring will be better for all of you. You will constantly be playing catch-up otherwise. Life with 2 small children is hard, and you'll never get that time back.
I'm going to be very mean here and point out that I'd also expect better grammar and spelling from a second year law student but I'll probably get flamed for saying that!

Helenluvsrob Mon 11-Jan-16 12:05:17

Don't be daft! defer the year. How are you really going to catch up 4 assignments whilst suffering morning sickness and all the other symptoms of early pregnancy? You are really setting yourself up to not do your best and , quite possibly fail I'm afraid.

YouGottaKeepEmSeparated Mon 11-Jan-16 12:07:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouGottaKeepEmSeparated Mon 11-Jan-16 12:09:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs Mon 11-Jan-16 12:14:38

I work in academia and in your shoes I would seriously consider deferring. Can I ask why you are so against it? You sound like you're spread too thin to really do your best. Deferring isn't something to be ashamed of, and it is relatively common to do so whilst pregnant or looking after a baby. A friend of mine deferred her course for 2 years while she had twins. She went back, got a first and now has a successful career.

Fizrim Mon 11-Jan-16 12:21:45

Again, this is not want you want to hear.

You haven't made any lectures/tutorials this term at all, are four assignments behind with little chance of catching up and this is only three days a week? You really need to defer or you'll fail, surely? At least you can return if you defer, please think about it.

Saphwoodman Mon 11-Jan-16 13:34:04

I was using my phone on an Internet forum expecting advise not criticism in regards to my grammar. If I don't have time to attend university because of my son do I really have time to write on this forum as if I was writing a judged essay, it was supposed to be a quick and presise question.

Lolimax Mon 11-Jan-16 15:01:12

Sorry if I caused offence.

enterafox Thu 24-Mar-16 14:09:58

A little late in replying, and I'm not sure whether you've got your answer or not, but yes! They will. There are lots of reasons they'll grant extenuating circumstances and severe morning sickness is one of them, at the very least. A normal pregnancy isn't, but complications arising from usually is.

I would look at deferring anyway, I was adamant that I wasn't going to, but baby and all the work became too much. I couldn't get the work done to a high a standard as I wanted to.

Pixie89 Tue 19-Apr-16 16:15:18

I would not see defering as failing rather staaying ahead before you do fail.

Can you not see how you get on with maybe one or two asignments. So when you go back it is less to catch up on.

My uni is super sympthethic with mitergating circumstances with regards to extentions etc. But it has to be something unforseen that could not be helped. So pregnancy with severe morning sickness would forsure fall under this.

But I guess you need you need to have a think if you would want to give something a proper go with time and effort required. Or something rushed and half hearted. Just to get it out of they way.

Good luck what ever you decide to do.

Pixie89 Tue 19-Apr-16 16:16:19

An other thought is there not a uni closer to home you could transfer to? Would that help you at all. 30 miles is a long way !

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