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Is it difficult?

(17 Posts)
Babysitterbexy Sat 03-Jun-06 21:55:18

Is it difficult supporting a baby whilst you are at university?

MerlinsBeard Sat 03-Jun-06 22:02:29

hmmm.. i was omn ur other thread. I didn't go to uni and neither did i have babies at that age but i really think u have it wrong. U don't support a baby. u need to be there for them and nurture them and all the other things that being a parent involves. I found part time home study difficult when my first was younger, maybe someone else can advise better but i would say wait until u have ur degree

Babysitterbexy Sat 03-Jun-06 22:06:38

Yes reading that back to myself, it didnt come across how it was supposed to. I think I am worried about missing out. I have always wanted to be a young mum and I love children but I do not feel it would be right for a baby to come into the world whilst I am still growing up myself.

Snafu Sat 03-Jun-06 22:12:53

Bexy, I'll say what I said on your other thread - what's the rush?

And to answer your question, yes it is difficult to have a child and be at university. And if you're 18, a mother and at university I'd say it's even harder.

Get your degree first, and spend your time at uni having fun and enjoying your lack of responsibilities Then think about babies.

TheThreeFillyjonks Sat 03-Jun-06 22:15:30

yes.

i am only doing an ou degree. its very hard to find time to study. very hard.

its not impossible. but why do it?

Babysitterbexy Sat 03-Jun-06 22:16:07

I guess the rush is I feel like I want to grow up. Getting drunk is soemthing I have been doing since I was really young because I had depression and now I feel I am more mature that people of my age. If I go to uni and enjoy myself I worr I might be put off the idea of having a baby, sounds silly!!

TheThreeFillyjonks Sat 03-Jun-06 22:18:12

you won't be put off unless its not the right thing for you.

and you don't want to find out its wrong by actually having a baby, then realising!

Snafu Sat 03-Jun-06 22:22:05

Growing up's not that great (apparently, I wouldn't know )

If you go to uni and enjoy yourself, then you go to uni and enjoy yourself. Fabulous! And maybe for a few years having a baby won't seem quite so important - or maybe you'll still want one the moment you graduate. Who knows?

You can drop out of uni if it's not right - you can't drop out of motherhood, though...

Chandra Sat 03-Jun-06 22:27:27

Going to University while taking care of a baby is a heroic thing to do, now planning a baby and university together at 18 yrs old....

Think on the following:
- Who is going to pay the £600ish per month the nursery costs(OK some government boduies may offer some help but still you would be very tight)

-At what time are you going to study? small babies need to be feed 8 times a day, they they need less feeds and longer burping and by the time you feed them a few times during the day they are crawling, running and getting themselves into trouble and I can guarantee that your only chance of studying would be when baby is asleep (if he sleeps!).

-All your classmated would be talking of nights out, trips, and plans, lots of wonderful plans, while you could only say "I'm sorry have to take care of DS/DD" when they ask you to join them. Studing then becomes a very lonely experience.

I did it and it was bloody difficult, very stressful and I can tell you I didn't enjoy my studies as I should have and I definitively wasted the oportunity of enjoying more stressles time with my baby.

Chandra Sat 03-Jun-06 22:38:31

Sorry, less stressful time, I meant to say.

That's the thing I'm most sorry about, they are babies just for a few months and I couldn't spent as much time as I would have liked with DS...

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat Sat 03-Jun-06 23:02:09

it's not only hard it can be quite heart-breaking too. Having a child in childcare because you have to work, have to do your job, is one thing. Having them in childcare so you can do well in you exams feels different - and to an extent selfish. SHutting the door on them while your dp looks after them (even if it is his turn) feels mean. Go to uni and then think about babies afterwards.

jennifersofia Sat 03-Jun-06 23:05:32

I had both of mine while doing my BA degree. The degree was part time (2 or 3 evenings a week) and took 5 years to complete (originally it was a 4 yr p/t course, but I extended a year because of the children), I was a SAHM, have a very supportive dh and MIL and yes, it was difficult. It was do-able, and I am very glad that I did it, but I wouldn't call it easy. I felt that to some degree I was missing out on the 'university experience' because a) my time was limited to being in lecture or being at home to look after kids and b) I felt that my fellow students were in quite a different 'space' to me - they had either had children who were now mainly grown up or they didn't have children.
Also, the time to be in lectures wasn't too much of a problem - the real problem was finding the time to do the reading and the work. When I was with the children, basically, I couldn't do any college work. That meant either doing it in the evenings (when I wasn't in lecture) when they were abed and I was fairly tired, or going into the library most Saturdays to work, or both.
On the plus side, it is a nice feeling to have achieved it and also it was very very nice to have something totally non-baby related and very mentally stimulating to go and do at the end of a baby sick, nappy changing, whingy child day!

Babysitterbexy Sun 04-Jun-06 12:43:35

I guess it would be best to wait. You are right Chandra, I do not want to miss out on those few months of my baby because I couldnt wait til after university. Maybe I am just planing too much, Im young, I should be enjoying myself!!!

LadyTambaOfTambaTown Sun 04-Jun-06 12:48:16

I was doing an access course. My ds's were 4 months and 2.5 when i started and yes it was hard work! Try studying anatomy when youve got a little one sceaming to be fed and a toddler wanting to be amused! I was exhausted all the time, I missed out on being around during the day with the kids and then spent my eveings wanting them to be quiet so I could work.

It is possible but it is very hard trying to find the time to fit everything in. And when you force yourself to make time, its not quality time because you are tired and know you have a deadline to meet.

PS - My nursery place for the kids was 100% funded.

Babysitterbexy Sun 04-Jun-06 12:53:17

That must have been hard LTOTT, do you feel that you missed out on that qality time because you were studying? I know you wouldnt regret have children but maybe the timing?

LadyTambaOfTambaTown Sun 04-Jun-06 13:08:42

I think I had the boys too early, there was and is still so much I want to do. Study, travel, go out!

Babysitterbexy Sun 04-Jun-06 15:14:22

I should do those things first. Have my gap year, get married, do my degree and then think about bringing a little person into this world.

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