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Does anyone want to buddy up or just hold my hand.

(30 Posts)
sugarplumfairy28 Tue 10-Jan-17 08:26:47

I have been smoking for just over 9 years. I hate the morning coughing, I hate how it makes me smell, I hate the having to battle the horrible weather to go and get cigarettes and I absolutely detest that I have given my children something so damaging to copy in their games.

I don't do things when I'm told to, so the nagging from anyone in the family really doesn't help in the slightest. My DH doesn't nag, he doesn't smoke and obviously doesn't like it but he doesn't nag me. This month is, like for many other families, going to be a tight month money wise. It finally struck me that if it weren't for my smoking it wouldn't be this bad. That all the things I want in life, would be so much easier to obtain if I just didn't stand at the window and smoke.

I haven't told DH, I'm starting today, his already gone to work, but from previous conversations we have had, he has said that any money saved first and foremost should be spent on me so that I reap the rewards and can feel the difference. I don't entirely agree with that, but it would mean I can get my nails done or something like that.

I'm not doing patches, Ecigs or vape - I just want this whole habit, this dependence, all of it gone. I want to move on with my life. So I'm just stopping.

So here it goes.

Gooseygoosey12345 Tue 10-Jan-17 09:25:14

I think reward systems work. Book a nail appointment for the end of the week and put the money you would have spent on your cigarettes in a jar to pay for it. You're committing to something then. Good luck, I know it's not easy but well done for taking the first steps!

Grannysmithy Tue 10-Jan-17 09:30:38

Just wanted to wish you the best of luck.

I'm on day 5 now. Smoked for 20 years, around 20 a day I think, although the last 5 years I've been on roll ups so harder to keep track.

You're very brave going cold turkey - I'm on patches & have lozenges, quick mist spray & a vape! I'm trying to only use the vape occasionally as I want to stop smoking everything & don't want vape at all really.

A relative of mine recently gave up cold turkey after many years of smoking. I think it depends massively on personality & determination combined. I know I would crack after a couple of days without any nicotine!

I've given up before, the longest period being 3 months, but stupidly had the odd one which turned into smoking again sad

I have to do this now, otherwise I'll never do it.

Feel like I've got something missing in my life but know this feeling will pass. Been ratty & tearful today - unbelievable what bloody nicotine withdrawal does!

Just keep repeating to myself 'this will pass'

Good luck to you & here for hand holding!

sugarplumfairy28 Tue 10-Jan-17 10:21:54

Goose I think a weekly thing is a good idea, after my nails I'm actually struggling to think of anything for myself though, especially something I can book in advance. ATM I have decided to put the money towards an extra thing for my DS' birthday which is next week, I really want him to have it, I might up the anti by telling him and then I have to do it, but think I want to get through today at least.

Granny thank you. I don't want to get to the point I can say I have been smoking 10 years, that just seems like a longer time than single digits. My reasons for smoking are utterly ridiculous. I started smoking around my ex to annoy him after he quit, he would turn up at predictable times wanting one thing or another, but that was a one off and wasn't a habit. I started smoking at work because it was the only way to get a break. My manager would let smokers have a break but no-one else, but she would come and check for non smokers and then give them written warnings for skiving. That is what started it. Now it seems like a stupid reason to get 2 minutes peace, when in reality I don't, it is just something to say other than I'm addicted to nicotine.

Good on you for giving it another go, especially as you've done it all before and know what you're in for. I have to admit I have had one this morning, but I would have had 4-5 by now. It wasn't one I bought though, my parents live in a flat under my house, they both smoke so I had to go and stand in the snow and pinch one of theirs. It wasn't nice at all, I felt so bad, freezing cold, although I did at least confirm I'm not going out in this weather. It is really hard knowing that there cigarettes down there. My parents actually stopped for 15 years and then decided to start again confused

Gooseygoosey12345 Wed 11-Jan-17 10:40:59

I could definitely give you a list of things to spend the money on yourself grin
You could save it up for a holiday too smile

sugarplumfairy28 Wed 11-Jan-17 21:00:06

Goose I think that might actually be helpful! I have had shockingly bad day, and I'm calling it a write off. I'm getting so angry, usually when I get angry I fix the problem, but I just cannot find a way to basically prove to myself that even if I plow the money saved into me there is something better. I know that there is the health side, and setting a better example to my children, but I cannot think of anything as a goal or reward. Seriously all I have come up with is my nails but that doesn't put me past the end of the week.

Annoyingly my DS has done something so incredibly awful, even for his birthday I cannot justify letting him have the extra thing I wanted him to have.

PencilsInSpace Wed 11-Jan-17 21:15:53

Aw shit, sorry you've had such a bad day flowers Never give up giving up. Count up the fags you haven't smoked during this attempt and give yourself a pat on the back - that's a bit less harm you've done yourself and a bit of money saved. Work out what the difficult times were and how you might cope with them on your next attempt.

Cold turkey is tough. I couldn't do it, only vaping worked for me. One thing you might want to consider next time is getting help from your local stop smoking services. They're not at all judgmental and they can support you whatever method you're using.

Onwards and upwards!

PencilsInSpace Wed 11-Jan-17 21:23:16

Shit sorry I might have misread that. Writing off the day or the current quit attempt? Either way, advice is the same - have a look at stop smoking services smile

sugarplumfairy28 Thu 12-Jan-17 10:33:37

I did mean just righting off the day. Trying to keep myself occupied. Been on a 3,5k walk this morning and done all the housework this morning, but I'm still struggling to find anything else now.

Gooseygoosey12345 Thu 12-Jan-17 21:07:12

Ok so, list!
Nails, hair, gym membership, boxes you receive through the post full of goodies, start a hobby, join a club, travel, save up for a new car/handbag/watch/earrings, a musical instrument and lessons. I could go on grin

sugarplumfairy28 Fri 13-Jan-17 19:36:24

Well yesterday I got down to 4 and a half and today I'm down to 3. I must sound so spoiled, we've just got a new car, and my DH is my guitar teacher lol. The handbag might be an idea. I really love Radley bags, I got a couple dirt cheap but my main one is 9 years old and could do with replacing. DH of all people lectured me on how spending 150 on a bag is OK seeing as the last one I got was 9 years ago.

sugarplumfairy28 Sat 14-Jan-17 17:39:57

zero, today I am on zero grin at this point in previous days I would have had however many and today I am on zero!!

bakingcupcakes Sat 14-Jan-17 18:25:06

That's amazing! Well done sugarplum! I found your thread by chance earlier but didn't have time to post.

I'm on day 14 of cold turkey. It gets easier. I've done it before but last November to xmas eve. I thought I'd have some as a xmas 'treat' because I'm a fool. hmm

Tried again since New Year and this time's definately easier but today has been an absolute bastard and I've no idea why. I'm ok now though. Nearly DS's bedtime so I'm trapped in the house until tomorrow.

How many a day d'you usually smoke? I smoked roll ups for around 10 years, 'real' fags for around 4 years before that.

bakingcupcakes Sat 14-Jan-17 18:28:52

I think we should buddy each other. I haven't got any RL support cos I told everyone I quit in pregnancy. I 'secret' smoke at night when DS's in bed mainly. Or very early in the morning before getting dressed..

FATEdestiny Sat 14-Jan-17 18:36:07

Why not get some nicotine lozenges in?

If you feel you absolutely need nicotine, it would not be a cigarette you had.

A bit like going cold turkey, but with support.

Good luck!

sugarplumfairy28 Sat 14-Jan-17 18:36:33

Oh no cupcake I've been told never to give in to the treat idea as it's like a vicious circle, so well done on you!

I usually get through 24 (which is a pack here) in a normal day, but more on a stressful day, nearly double that if I'm at a party or social thing. Do you find it easier when you know you're prevented from getting any? My parents live in a flat under mine and they both smoke, and their idea of supportive is not moaning if I pinch some, which hasn't been helpful, I feel a lot better when I know they've gone out and there are no fags to get to.

I've been dreading today with DH and DC around, but went out on my own in the snow and walked for 6.5km, DH put me to bed for the afternoon and don't feel quite as bad as I thought I would.

sugarplumfairy28 Sat 14-Jan-17 18:37:26

Hey, we can buddy here if that's easier for you?

sugarplumfairy28 Sat 14-Jan-17 18:41:09

FATE I have this e-cig thing, but the liquid has no nicotine in it and I seem to feel OK. For me I think it is the habit, my whole day seems to be dictated by when I smoke and oddly the blowing of smoke - which I don't get at all.

SuzanneF Thu 23-Feb-17 12:44:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lovelilies Thu 23-Feb-17 21:13:12

Can I join?
I've given up before countless times, the longest was for 6 months years ago and more recently I did 3 months when pg with DC3 but stupidly started again and blamed it on splitting with ExP.
I desperately want to do it, I don't think I can go cold turkey. I've smoked for 22 years confusedshock

SitDownMarlene Tue 28-Feb-17 09:56:45

Another one wanting to join?

I've decided today is the day! I smoke roll ups now, real cigs before that, for the last 10 years.

I gave up once for 8 months.

I'm going to the chemist on my way into work to ask for help, I just don't want to smoke anymore.

MissusRob Thu 02-Mar-17 01:27:39

Can I join in too? I've had enough and it's a big (big and OLD) birthday on Friday and I really don't want to be an old lady smoker. I've tried and failed so many times but I've just got to do this now or I fear I will be smoking till my (early) grave.
Good luck to everyone on this thread. Keep posting though, it really does help to know I'm not on my own. Thank you!

SitDownMarlene Thu 02-Mar-17 20:40:07

Hi MissusRob, I'm on day 3 now and doing ok.

Seems to be getting out of the routine is the hardest bit for me! Bad cravings at the usual times I would smoke.

I got some NRT patches and they're keeping me on the straight & narrow along with the gum.

Very best of luck to you & everyone else giving up!

sugarplumfairy28 Fri 03-Mar-17 17:20:49

How's everyone doing? I decided to use a Vape pen with 0 nicotine in it as a stepping stone. Unfortunately I cheaped out on it an after 6 weeks of 0 cigarettes my Vape pen gave out on me, so long story short I have been smoking again for a week. My new Vape pen is here, so will switching over tomorrow once it is fully charged and ready to go. I live in a less than ideal situation where there people actually trying to stop me succeeding, last week was a bad week anyway and unfortunately just as my pen gave out there was someone standing there with a cigarette ready and waiting. All I can say is, listen to yourself and do whatever it is you need to do!

Lovelilies Fri 03-Mar-17 20:16:44

I haven't stopped yet. It's always tomorrow/when I'm in a better mood/when I'm not so tired or stressed.
Pathetic excuses I know, I just don't seem to have the strength. I have DD1(11) undergoing assessment for ASD and being a PITA, DS (3) who butts heads with DD1 and is a loveable rogue, and baby DD2 (8m) and into everything.
Their DF and I are separated (kind of) well we live separately and yo-yo back and forth.
I'm just bloody knackered and feeling sorry for myself ATM. Sorry for the whinge!

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