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Please help me stop

(31 Posts)
LittlestB Sat 24-Sep-16 20:23:08

I just can't stop smoking. I've tried everything going but have absolutely zero willpower. I have a vape thingy, but when I run out of cigarettes and decide 'that's it, am not buying any more' - it's like an invisible voice/force in me that tells me just to get one more pack. I've tried gum, patches, Allen Carr, cold turkey - everything.

Shamefully I lost my beloved grandmother to lung cancer two years ago and still haven't quit. I can't afford to smoke, we are saving every penny for our wedding. I've used my overdraft to pay for cigarettes and I've only just paid it off.

Am so so ashamed of myself and don't know what's wrong with me. I suffer from high functioning but severe anxiety and depression and don't know if it's linked?

For background: am also trying to shift three stone, but with slimming world so I know eating won't be an issue as I can eat 'free foods'. And I want to TTC for my first after the wedding, and am already 29, so I know this needs to stop.

Any advice? Please be gentle, I know IABU. sad

LittlestB Sat 24-Sep-16 20:28:09

In fact no, don't be gentle with me, give me your horror stories. That oughta do it!!

hollinhurst84 Sat 24-Sep-16 21:22:19

smile what vape are you using? And what strength nicotine?

Marilynsbigsister Sat 24-Sep-16 21:29:00

I cracked it last October after smoking since i was 14 now 52yrs.
The only very basic thought I still need in my head is...' I'm not going to smoke today'. Just get through one day. I couldn't bear to think I will never smoke again, I enjoyed it and I miss it but the missing it now lasts seconds a few times a day. All I can say is I didn't smoke today, or yesterday and I don't think I'll smoke tomorrow. Don't look too far ahead or it will seem to much. Good luck to you flowers

thenewaveragebear1983 Sat 24-Sep-16 21:37:57

I have stopped finally after 16 years (I'm now 33) and the only way I have managed is to tell myself that while I may want a cigarette, I don't want to be a smoker. It's so hard, I have no advice really. I stopped with my 3rd pregnancy and have just not started again but it's been difficult. Personally I found vaping made my cravings worse and I craved the dirtiness of a cigarette, not just the nicotine.
If you punctuate every hour of your life with a cigarette, you will have to resist one every hour at first. Remind yourself regularly why you don't want one, you don't need one, and how disgusting they really are (which is easy to forget when you crave one!)
It sounds horrible but if you put a cigarette in a cup of water and sniff it when you crave a fag it's supposed to help (because it's revolting)
Good luck op flowers

gamerchick Sat 24-Sep-16 21:40:04

I use the spray/mist. They aren't cheap but give a much better hit than a ciggie.

If you go to your local chemist and sign up for their stop smoking scheme, someone will support you and give you the goods cheaper than they cost in the shops.

LittlestB Sat 24-Sep-16 22:47:20

Thank you all so much got your replies so far! I'm going to read, digest, and then reply. Feeling more positive about it already just from skim reading.

gamerchick Sat 24-Sep-16 23:02:27

You know what I like about not smoking? The way you can just run up the stairs and not be out of breath or when you're walking for miles and don't feel grubby and knackered at the end of it. I had a few smokes last night after a few beers just because they were there and out of habit and my throat and chest hurt this morning. I'm having a few beers tonight and am just using my mist twice and hour and it's mint.

More importantly I begrudge lining the pockets of the cunting government, i'm enjoying the fact they're not liking the black hole caused by vaping.

Good luck man.

PlentyOfPubeGardens Sun 25-Sep-16 12:19:07

I suffer from high functioning but severe anxiety and depression and don't know if it's linked?

Yes there is a strong link between smoking (and difficulty quitting) and MH issues:

People with mental health conditions smoke at higher rates and are more heavily addicted - around one third of adult tobacco consumption is by people with a mental health condition. As such they experience much greater smoking related harm.

Smoking rates among people with mental health conditions have barely changed at all over the last 20 years during a time when rates have been steadily falling in the general population.

People with a mental health condition are just as likely to want to stop smoking as other smokers but they face more barriers to quitting and are more likely to be dependant and therefore need more support.

So please don't feel ashamed that you have not yet managed to quit.

Have you tried Stop Smoking Services? You can find your local service here. They have comparatively good success rates, can help you explore all the options and provide ongoing support. Also these days they can support you if you want to continue using an ecig.

I want to ask the same question as hollinhurst - what vape are you using? And what strength nicotine? If you can post details of your setup, there are lots of posters who can offer suggestions.

Loads of people don't manage a sudden switch from smoking to vaping. DH took a whole year to lose the last fag of the day, but he got there! The trick is to start counting the fags you don't smoke, not the ones you do.

LittlestB Sun 25-Sep-16 15:04:01

I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to come back you and all of your kind replies and words of advice. The good news is, I finished my last pack this morning. The bad news is I'm already feeling anxious and know I'll cave on the drive to work tomorrow and stop for more hmm

For those asking I have a Cirro ecig, just a cheap coop one, and 18mg liquid. Am never sure if it's worth spending more, surely they all do the same thing and I need to get into the habit of using it first?

I generally smoke however many cigarettes I have available to me in a day, 20 max. If I only have a pack of ten, that's what I smoke that day. If I have 20 (or the shop doesn't have tens), I smoke 20. The sterling clicks ones.

LittlestB Sun 25-Sep-16 15:06:56

And I have looked into the stop smoking services but, to be honest, they terrify me. Part of my MH issues mean that I'm a massive flake - I just know I wouldn't turn up! Did the exact same thing with my SW group and I haven't been to a GP in about 7 years(but that's another story)...

LittlestB Sun 25-Sep-16 15:07:56

And I have looked into the stop smoking services but, to be honest, they terrify me. Part of my MH issues mean that I'm a massive flake - I just know I wouldn't turn up! Did the exact same thing with my SW group and I haven't been to a GP in about 7 years(but that's another story)...

PlentyOfPubeGardens Sun 25-Sep-16 17:56:45

Ecigs all work on the same principle but some produce much more vapour and are therefore more satisfying. It will be hard to get into the habit of using it if it's not providing enough nicotine to control your cravings.

You don't have to spend a lot more though to get something more powerful. A simple variable battery like this one would allow you to crank up the power when needed. There are a dizzying array of tanks available. Cheap options include the iClear16 which looks very similar to the one you are using, and fills in the same way, but has 2 coils and so produces more vapour. And/or you could try one of the cheaper bottom coil clearos like the evod 2, which again has 2 coils. Both of these have replaceable coils, which works out cheaper in the long run. Pretty much everything is interchangeable so you could carry on using your current battery as a spare.

How long have you been using your current tank? The coils go after a week or two and performance tapers off.

It sounds like you are still trying to stop all-at-once - you really don't have to. Most people 'dual fuel' for a while and cut down slowly. Keep the vape nearby and use it little and often. Don't worry about using it too much, it's impossible to overdose - you'll just feel a bit sick and put it down when you've had enough. If you buy more fags, keep them somewhere out of sight, at the other end of the house, so you have to make a concious effort if you really want one and don't just automatically reach for them.

I still think it's worth contacting stop smoking services. Explain to them what you have written here. They are aware that some people find it difficult to commit to attending regularly and some offer rolling drop-in sessions and other more flexible options. Don't be scared, they are not at all judgmental.

MissBattleaxe Wed 28-Sep-16 17:14:04

I was a committed smoker who couldn't imagine ever not wanting a cigarette. It was Champix that worked for me. It was recommended to me by a former 20 a day smoker who no longer even wanted one. I am now in the same boat. I don't want one at all and I never thought I would ever feel that way.

It's worth asking your GP, but since you have anxiety they might say no as it can affect mood. It didn't with me, but it can do.

Good luck. I know how hard it can be.

illhaveabrew Wed 28-Sep-16 17:20:00

Alan Carr's the easy way to stop smoking. Read that and come back to me in a week. It costs the same as a packet of fags!!!

Chopchopbusybusy Wed 28-Sep-16 17:26:46

I agree with missbattleaxe that champix is a wonderful thing. As she says they may not suit you because of your MH issues but it's definitely worth asking. I stopped just over 5 years ago. I'd given up many times before - sometimes for a year or two at a time but I always still had a bit of a desire to smoke but not now.

TantrumsAndBalloons Wed 28-Sep-16 17:38:21

I had a cheapie e cig at first and I was still craving real cigarettes.

Now I have a "proper" one. It is so different.
My dh has the odd cigarette when he has a few drinks, when I had the cheap e cig the smell of someone smoking was unbearable and I had to have one
Now- I don't like the taste of real cigarettes any more. I really don't. And the only thing that changed was I went to a vape shop, tried a few different things and found the set up and the liquid that suited me

MissBattleaxe Wed 28-Sep-16 18:12:47

Alan Carr's the easy way to stop smoking

That works for lots of people but I read it 8 times and it didn't click. It's never a waste of time to read it though as it does go in, but wasn't enough to stop me.

SweetChickadee Wed 28-Sep-16 18:15:20

It was Champix that worked for me

Me too - it did affect my mood and I only took it for 6 weeks. But I've not had a fag for 7 years grin

brightspark2 Wed 28-Sep-16 18:17:08

After 35 years I succeeded on Champix - plus an anti nausea med. it's been 15 months now - I'm a no smoker - never thought I could do it, I had tried all the other methods.

PlentyOfPubeGardens Wed 28-Sep-16 20:29:33

How's it going, LittlestB? How many have you NOT smoked? (you smoke 20/day if they're there, so that's your baseline).

Allen Carr works for lots of people but OP has already tried it.

Champix also works for lots of people but OP has anxiety & depression and an aversion to going to the GP. She would need careful monitoring and I'm not sure she's up for that.

It would be good if you could bring yourself to go to the GP LittlestB, and ask for help with the anxiety & depression. If you got that under control you'd probably find it a lot easier to quit smoking.

magimedi Thu 29-Sep-16 17:12:57

I am now nearly 4 years fag free after 40+ years of smoking. All thnks to vaping.

My lung function improved so much that I am now able to exercise much better ( I swim 1k 3 x a week) & have dropped a size in clothes since taking up vaping. Every time I ever quit any other way (& failed) I ended up putting on a lot of weight.

And I agree with the dual fuelling - you will eventually give up all the fags.

mariettale Wed 05-Oct-16 10:33:07

This one is a completely different approach but if you really want to quit I think it worths giving a try.

The local health services are running a campaign called "Stoptober", arguing that if you quit smoking for 28 days, you are five times more likely to quit for good.

You can read more about it here (disclaimer, I work with them to promote the programme; it's completely free and has some incentives to it)

lasttimeround Sat 08-Oct-16 08:31:05

Not smoking is hard but probably the best single thing you xsn do for yourself. I'm in week two of quitting habing fallen off wagon in July. Heigh ho. In Scotland you xsn sign up at pharmacy and get free patches (or other replacement ). The immediate cash always works quite well for me. There's also support groups if you have time. But pharmacy is convenient and helpful. Bit of a review each time. Bit of support but quick.

FurryDogMother Sat 08-Oct-16 17:40:51

I tried so many times to stop smoking - I started when I was around 14, and finally quit almost 4 months ago (I'm 57). I was the world's best smoker - I bloody loved it, and could easily get through 30 a day - more if I was out drinking. I managed 3 months with Allen Carr, but started again, and then about 3 years ago I almost quit by using e-cigs, but was dual-fuelling a lot of the time, then went back to the stinkies again. This time, I found an e-cig set up that really suits me - two actually - a Cool Fire 4 with an i-sub G tank on it, and the Kangertech SubVod. Both are sub-ohm devices, which produce a lot of vapour and work with direct to lung vaping (as opposed to mouth to lung). Started on 18mg juices, and am now down to 2 or 3mg - and I think I might get away with zero nicotine juices, but am a bit scared to try it!

I think it's about finding a set-up which works well for your style of smoking/inhaling, plus trying loads of different juices until you find one (or several, in my case!) which you prefer to the taste of smoking. That and mentally committing yourself to never buying another cigarette. I know that if I had even one puff of one, I'd be hooked again, and I refuse to go there. It is not going to happen - and funnily enough, typing this has made me realise that I am actually totally craving free now, and pretty confident that I'll never smoke again, which makes me very, very happy.

I started every day with a cigarette - often before I even got out of bed - and planned my entire life around opportunities to smoke - even going to the cinema or theatre was a nightmare, because I wasn't comfortable going that long without smoking. This week I sat through a 2 hour, 45 minute performance and didn't even think about nicotine. It is possible, you just have to believe it is, and make that leap. Good luck!

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