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Allen Carr worked for 8 months. I've really let myself down :(

(18 Posts)
Coco0123 Fri 30-Jan-15 20:28:10

I never thought I'd smoke again. Then had a few at Xmas, the usual foolish thought of 'one won't hurt, I'm passed it'. Now I'm buying 10 every other day & telling myself it will be the last time every pack. Anyone else relapsed? Last year was the most stressful yr of my life & I amazed myself & everyone else how I managed to give up through it all. I suppose xmas/new yr was a kind of 'reward' for getting through the yr. sad
So what now? I'm hopeful it will work again if I re read the book! But I feel stuck in limbo & powerless.

Anyone else relapsed? Did you successfully get back on the wagon so to speak? Would really appreciate any advice/tips. I'm so annoyed with myself.

FriedFishAndBread Fri 30-Jan-15 20:30:44

I gave up with allan Carr to and I bought ten tonight.

I won't smoke again for a few months so I don't see it as to much of a problem. He didn't stop me enjoying a cigarette so in my head it's a now and again treat but I can control it and only smoke when drinking.

FriedFishAndBread Fri 30-Jan-15 20:31:59

Just don't buy another pack op.

remember what he says about the craving will still be there fag or not. You do not need to buy another pack you will want a one for a few days but yippee I'm a non smoker remember.

Coco0123 Fri 30-Jan-15 20:36:18

Thanks FriedFish . Yes, I am telling myself the yippee I'm a non smoker but feel a bit of a fraud blush Is it just 3 days they say that u only have the physical cravings?

FriedFishAndBread Fri 30-Jan-15 21:05:28

I think so, just get busy and every time you think of smoking think so what if I want a fag ill only have one and want another the craving won't actually go.

Coco0123 Fri 30-Jan-15 21:13:22

Thanks, yes lots to do these next few days so should be not so bad, especially as 2nd time round now. I have 3 left, finishing them tonight with wine & positive attempt to start afresh tomorrow.

PolterGoose Fri 30-Jan-15 21:14:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PavlovtheCat Fri 30-Jan-15 21:18:57

A lapse is something to be learnt from. It's ok to lapse, as it reminds you what you want to be doing, which is not smoking. It's normally when we think we have 'cracked it' that it becomes easy to slip. When we are consciously trying, we have strategies, it's when we stop applying them we cave in, but it's ok to lapse, as long as you pick yourself back up. It doesn't mean you have gone back to where you started. That's not possible, as mentally, you won't get back to that place.

Coco0123 Fri 30-Jan-15 21:20:57

Thanks Polter Yes , I'm feeling quite upbeat & positive. Non of my friends smoke, just family who actively encouraged me & suggested I should have just a few a day as it would do me good managing stress hmm No excuse I know, I was weak!

Coco0123 Fri 30-Jan-15 21:49:53

pavlov thanks for your wise words, you make so much sense. This is what I've needed as been too ashamed to share the downfall with non smoking friends & family don't know I've been actually buying them again. Thanks to you lot I am beginning to feel the excitement of being a non smoker again like I did 8 months ago!

MissBattleaxe Fri 30-Jan-15 21:54:21

Don't beat yourself. I've fallen off the wagon more times than I can count, but this time it really is working.

The first month after reading Allen Carr was hard but now I actually really don't want one, which is the state I always wanted to be in- I just didn't want to want to smoke if that makes sense, and now I genuinely don't.

It does help to completely avoid alcohol and even put your social life on hold if its full of temptation ( or change it a bit). I've barely touched a drop of booze for months and not smoking is much easier.

I can honestly say the desire has left me and I feel as if I don't want to get myself dirty and smoky now! Spend your fag money on Lenor Summer Fresh!

PavlovtheCat Fri 30-Jan-15 22:21:06

coco you are not weak by having a lapse. You are abstaining from a drug to which you are addicted, and that's fucking hard to do.
prochaska and diclemente's cycle of change is shown here in a chart, below is the cycle itself. It takes, as demonstrated through research, approximately 7 times of attempting to go around the cycle before 'maintenance' is achieved. But, it's important to recognise that once you start the process of change you never return to 'pre-contemplation' which is the 'I don't want to change, I like smoking' thoughts and feelings.

cycle of change

This model is used to support people with other addictions, including heroin addiction for example, and the model was originally based on people stopping smoking.

PavlovtheCat Fri 30-Jan-15 22:24:04

the first link is about weight loss, i see i posted the wrong one! but the process is the same.

HarveySpecter Fri 30-Jan-15 22:25:20

Ok - I stopped for 18 months using Allen Carr and then started again during a major family crisis. Thought it couldn't work twice but went back as I really didn't want to be a smoker. That was 18 years ago and I haven't had one since. I guess it does work!

VelvetGreen Sat 31-Jan-15 10:34:13

Have you read How To Stop Smoking Permanently? I was given it when i relapsed after stopping with AC's first book. I don't remember quite what was different about it or if it was just the reinforcement, but i stopped again when i was just a few chapters in, and haven't smoked now in over 8 years.

Coco0123 Sat 31-Jan-15 13:08:47

The cycle of change Pavlov is really interesting.
Harvey how long did you smoke for when you relapsed?
Velvet I think I will give that book a go. Don't really want to reread the exact same one again & I suppose it must be a little different.

HarveySpecter Sat 31-Jan-15 16:42:55

Probably a year or so. As I said, I wasn't sure it would work twice but it did. I am a great believer in the old adage that it doesn't matter how many times you fail - you only need to be successful once! Don't beat yourself up over it - just stop again - and know that there is no such thing as "just one cigarette". 30 a day or nothing for me - glad I chose nothing. Good luck.

lessthanBeau Mon 02-Feb-15 16:33:06

I went straight for the Allen Carr permanently book to begin with, that was nearly 7 years ago, I've been totally brainwashed the other way, sometimes I dream I'm smoking and know even while I'm asleep that I shouldn't be doing it and wake up in a panic!
give it another go I completely believe in this book.

or try a vape if you have to, every cigarette not smoked is a massive victory. biscuit

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