I don't know if i want advice or just to let off steam. feeling very unhappy with OH and SD and ashamed of myself for not being a bigger better person.
I want to preface this with the fact that SD and I normally have an affectionate relationship, but that SD has problems with anger and insecurity and controlling behaviour and has a reputation for manipulating situations so that she appears to be the victim. And while I can fully understand the psychology of it all, because of what's happened with her mum, I'm not mother bloody Theresa and occasionally also have enough and lose my temper.
so SDs mum has fallen off the wagon again, resulting in a complete absence of goodnight calls to SD, and the last contact centre visit cancelled. Basically she's on (yet another) bender...
SDs reaction is I guess understandably for an 8.5 yr old is that she become either clingy and babyish with me and won't leave me be for a minute at a time (claustrophobic) or won't do anything she's asked, rolls her eyes and gets very sarcastic and nasty, has a smart alec answer for everything, and has a tantrum or bursts into very noisy tears at the drop of a hat - about even so little as switching off TV to come for dinner. I am without doubt her kicking post, and I always get the brunt of her negative feelings when her mum has let us all down.
I had this all day on Saturday, with SD following me everywhere clingy but at the same time being really unpleasant and unfriendly. it just went on and on and in the end I lost my temper and sent her to her room. As soon as my back is turned she immediately runs downstairs to her Dad's office and grizzles and tells him I've been so mean to her. OH and I had a huge row, with OH saying leave her alone stop being so hard on her, me saying I'm not going to put up with her behaving so badly for any reason, and with SD gloating smugly at me from behind his legs. Later on it gets worse when she walks into the kitchen while I'm loading up the fridge with shopping, walks straight into the fridge door and hurts her head, screams at me 'what did you do that for?" and again goes and tells her dad that I've opened the fridge door into her face and hurt her. Cue another row, with OH telling me off!!
Now OH and I aren't talking, he slept on the sofa last night, and SD is merrily flitting around the house as if nothing has happened.
I feel like walking out on both of them today ...
Please can someone tell me to pull myself together or how to handle this better in future because I seem to be at my wits end right now....
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just had the worst weekend [sad]
7 replies
mrshibbins · 02/11/2009 11:55
OP posts:
mrsjammi ·
02/11/2009 20:12
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