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Step Parent Adoption Advice

(11 Posts)
nikkib1967 Tue 27-Oct-09 16:36:40

Hi, my partner and I have been living together for six years with my 11 year old son. We are not married but do intend to get married in the near future once we have saved up enough money! He would like to offically adopt my son just in case something happens to son also wants this. Can anyone give me some advice on how to go about this and preferably as cheap as possible!
My son has had no contact from his legal father for over five years now.
I look forward to hearing from you.

Cosette Tue 27-Oct-09 16:40:39

I believe that you would need consent from your son's legal father to the adoption - is that something he would be likely to give?

prettyfly1 Tue 27-Oct-09 20:24:33

if the father has not been around for a number of years you can apply to the courts to not have to ask him to sign over the child for adoption. Best bet is to check out direct gov for next steps.

ChocHobNob Tue 27-Oct-09 22:46:34

Nikki, were you married to your son's father at the time of his birth? Or has he since applied for parental responsibility?

If he has parental responsibility, then you will have to get the father's permission for the adoption.

If he doesn't then you can go ahead with it without having to inform him.

There is some information ... here

Wilts Tue 27-Oct-09 23:00:15

Niki- if you ring your local social services they will send you out an information pack. You have to give them written notice that you intend to go ahead with proceedings before you put the papers into court.

It costs about £145 which you pay at the time of application.

Even if you ex does not have parental responsibility Social services will still want him to consent to the adoption if at all possible.

You need to consider why you think adoption is best for your family instead of just applying for parental responsibility- they will ask you this.

ChocHobNob Tue 27-Oct-09 23:25:29

Why adoption is best for the child, I would focus on, not so much the family.

Wilts Wed 28-Oct-09 07:21:54

Choc is right the focus is very much on how/why adoption will benefit DS.

We are nearing the end stages of our step parent adoption and my brain is completely frazzled by it all now grin - if there is anything more specific you want to know, please are and I will try and answer!

Wilts Wed 28-Oct-09 07:28:08

Please are?? please ask - you see well and truly frazzled grin

ChocHobNob Wed 28-Oct-09 09:55:49

Lol! It is early.

That's great that the OP has someone with first hand experience for advice, hope they come back x

nikkib1967 Wed 28-Oct-09 12:10:28

Firstly thankyou so much for all your advice and information. I was never married to my son's father however he did apply and get joint parental responsibility but he has failed with his son on every level-I do not even know where he lives now.
There has been no contact betweeen him or his son for over five years - he has our address and contact numbers/email etc.
I have tried believe me to get him to contact his son.
I am just worried that if anything happened to me my son's welfare would be in jeopardy as my ex has joint parental responsibility and my currnet partner has been a real father to my son and my son sees him as such.

Cosette Wed 28-Oct-09 16:22:29

It looks like it is possible for your DP to gain parental rights, without having to remove them from your ex. -

"Rights and responsibilities of step-parents
Step-parents since 5th December 2005 can also acquire Parental Responsibility through a formal agreement or Court Order. Other Orders which result in Parental Responsibility to a step-parent or other individual (e.g. grand-parent) are a Residence Order which regulates where a child will live and gives the individual with the Residence Order Parental Responsibility until the child is 16. A Parental Responsibility Order however endures until the child’s 18th birthday.

A step-parent on acquiring Parental Responsibility has the same duties and responsibilities as any other individual including a natural parent with Parental Responsibility."

It seems you can apply for a residence order, jointly with your DP, and if it's approved then that solves the problem of what happens in the event you are no longer able to care for your DS yourself.

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