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Midle child syndrome

(5 Posts)
Betty20 Tue 15-Sep-09 18:15:48

My husband has two girls (10 and 7) and we have a son together (2). We have the girls every weekend. The 7 year old is currently displaying stereo-typical signs of 'middle child syndrome' and is becoming rather difficult.

Her older sister is taking her 11+ exam this week and so a lot of the focus has been on her recently (extra maths lessons etc). My 2 year old son will always get more of my attention - 1) because he is mine and 2) because he is 2 years old.

Underneath it all, I know she is a lovely girl (I've known her since she was 4 and she really can be such a sweetie) and I'm wondering if anyone could help me with some suggestions of getting through this difficult patch? I've read a lot of stuff online and am definitely recognising the signs of middle child syndrome but I haven't yet found anything on how to deal with it.

Any advice very gratefully received.


squeaver Tue 15-Sep-09 18:21:00

Well I am a middle child and I can tell you that all I ever wanted when I was growing up was some individual attention from my parents.

My brother (the eldest and only boy) always had my Dad's attention and they did special things together. My sister (youngest and very much the baby of the family) got lots from my Mum and our grandparents.

I always felt left out, even though - now - I realise I probably wasn't.

Maybe your dh could do something special just for the two of them while her sister studies and you look after the wee one?

Believe me, a little "special" attention will go a long way.

BrokkenHarted Tue 15-Sep-09 18:24:48

I also am a middle child and displayed the same thing.

i unfortunately have nothing to tell you apart from that, for me it was something that lasted until i turned 17, but that the worst thing you can do is make anyone feel in anyway that they are a problem or causing trouble for others as this only makes it worse.

Always positive attention!!

Betty20 Tue 15-Sep-09 22:07:01

Thanks ladies. It's very tricky but we will try harder to find the time to spend with her individually. It needs nipping in the bud before it grows and grows eh?

squeaver Wed 16-Sep-09 17:17:03

Yes I think that would help.

Obviously, I don't know how messy her parents' divorce has been but she has had to deal with that and the arrival of another sibling all in the last few years of her short life.

I'm sure it will all be fine. You and your dh seem to really want to make it better.

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