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long i'm sorry .

(9 Posts)
Valiant1 Wed 12-Aug-09 13:28:03

My s/d lives with us she has no mother she died when s/d was 4 and s/d and her dad were allone for 7 years untill i moved in with d/s ..since then she is all nice nice round us when she wants somthing butrecently has told her b/f mum i beat her up that im horrid to her i pick on her all the time and that i abuse my younger three as well! she is 18 now and fully understands what she has done as I am a teaching assistant and work with s/s having a family members daughter on restbite ....when she was asked why she had said these things she shrugged and said i dont know!!!!!!! She has also started stealing alchol, i dont mind her drinking but stealing is sooo unexeptable! I am just wondering why I am still in this relationship as every time she has a problem or she kicks off its me it about or aimed at
Ihave tried so hard to treat her as one of my own but there is only so much i can take!! what do i do ?????

MamaKaty Wed 12-Aug-09 17:38:01

What a difficult situation for you.

You wonder why you are still in your relationship - where does your partner stand on this? Please talk to him and ensure that you have his support.

Your stepdaughter lost her mum at a pretty young age and was probably at a very difficult age when you moved in with her dad... it sounds like she still has issues around this and deep down resents you 'intruding into her family' (as I suspect she may see it).

Can you talk to her about this? Can your partner talk to her about this? Ensure that you are both consistant with her and then set your own boundaries: it's unacceptable for her to make those allegations against you; what are the consequences for her though? Talk to your partner about setting clear boundaries and consequences for her. Perhaps if she does that again he can stop her allowance?

I wonder if it would help to speak to her about getting some counselling? She's obviously a very unhappy little girl to be acting so spiteful!!

Valiant1 Fri 14-Aug-09 21:41:27

I have been to see the dr with her they say she needs theropy !!! i just hope it works my hubby is vary laid back and oh let her get on with it she isnt been spitefull!!! im 25 i just cant cope with this !!!

CantThinkofFunnyName Sun 23-Aug-09 19:49:07

Can I ask how old your DP is? You say you are 25 and SD is 18 - so not much of an age gap. My initial thought is that this may have a lot to do with her attitude....?

ElenorRigby Mon 24-Aug-09 13:32:47

Sorry to say I'd show her the door and if I wasn't backed up the relationship would probably be over too.
Totally unacceptable behaviour from her! angry At 18 she is an adult and adults have to face the consequences of their actions.

FiveGoMadInDorset Mon 24-Aug-09 13:46:57

So you moved in with her father when you were 17? What were you like then?

titchy Mon 24-Aug-09 14:01:16

An 18 yo went to the GP with her 25 yo step mum, and the GP told the step mum she needed therapy... hmm

RealityIsNOTDetoxing Mon 24-Aug-09 14:05:09

Message withdrawn

mrsjammi Mon 24-Aug-09 23:38:28

Message withdrawn

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