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Ex has got CSA on us

(55 Posts)
guaranagal Tue 07-Jul-09 20:54:04

I know people will have mixed views on this but here goes, need to get it off my chest.

Today DOH gets his payslip and there is a mysterious deduction of £218. Turns out X has got CSA on to him.

So he is taking home a grand total of £950 a month now.

It's a nightmare. We simply can't cope on the money we have left.

It's a complete waste of time her doing this - obviously vindictive.

We buy EVERYTHING for DSS as she is on benefits (and she gets the child benefit despite us having equal care).

We buy school uniform, all clothes, most food, furniture for his room at both houses, do all school runs so petrol and car upkeep, holidays, days out etc etc etc.

She pays nothing. Not a dime. This has always been the arrangement and we have been happy with it.

Now because she is on benefits, the CSA money doesn't actually go to her. It just offsets her benefits.

So she is worse off (as she is going to have to buy all clothes, uniform etc etc).

We are worse off (£218 a month to be precise).

DSS is worse off (he will have hardly any treats - swimming lessons will have to stop, days out, holidays, parties).

It's not like we were avoiding paying for the child, we were doing everything. But now she has gone and put a giant spanner in the works by crippling us financially.

We are going to have to live on about £20 a week now after all our bills. £50 a week is a LOT of money in these times.

DOH was going to go back to Uni in Sept and retrain as a teacher (he works in factory) but I just don't think it's going to be possible.

We were putting aside £50 a month into DSS university fund (not a lot but it'll help) - that will have to stop.

So upset, this has ruined both our present and DSS future. Don't know what to do.

DOH even talking about giving up work as not worth all the hours to have £20 a week to live on and also about moving into shared lodgings. This will massively impact our quality of life as a family. We already live in 1 bedroom.

So sad and distressed. Hope someone can identify.

KingCanuteIAm Tue 07-Jul-09 20:57:51

It is a requirement for benefits, if she does not get money from you (that she declares) or does not allow the CSA to do their thing then they can stop her money alltogether. It is a crap system but it seems we are stuck with it. sad

StewieGriffinsMom Tue 07-Jul-09 21:00:33

Message withdrawn

guaranagal Tue 07-Jul-09 21:01:30

She would be better off negotiating a reasonable sum with us that we can afford and declaring that to the CSA. If it were £90 a month or under we could just about get by and give DSS some quality of life.

She reported DOH to the CSA over some minor tiff.

It just seems ridiculous.

guaranagal Tue 07-Jul-09 21:02:20

And if she has no choice why hasn't she done it in the last 4 years?

Apart from making threats to do it, that is.

littlelamb Tue 07-Jul-09 21:04:14

They will not have just deducted it. If it's coming straight out of his wages they will have been trying to contact him, presumably without success. Trust me, the CSA just aren't that good to have 'found' him and sorted out payments in the last month

guaranagal Tue 07-Jul-09 21:07:04

What do you mean littlelamb?

littlelamb Tue 07-Jul-09 21:08:47

I mean they will have been sending letters to your dp. They will not just go straight to deducting wages. And trust me, they are a bloody incompetent lot, they will have probably had the case open on your dp for months

GypsyMoth Tue 07-Jul-09 21:09:57

When claim is re newed it's possible they picked up on it then

But it's all changed now, and a private arrangement is allowed. She could keep £10 a week of maintenence. Watch out. She'll stop contact next, forcing you to spend thousands in court fee's!! That's if she WANTS to be vindictive of course!!

KingCanuteIAm Tue 07-Jul-09 21:10:20

Perhaps she has been trying to avoid it? Honestly, on benefits you are not offered a choice, it is a requirement and they will get very eavy handed if they feel like it. The process starts when her name comes up,not when she claims so it could be any time after she started her claim, years after is not unusual. It is whispered that it is used as a bit of a tool to try to get long term unemployed off benefits - but that is just a rumour.

Littlelamb is right, CSA do not turn up over night and an attachment to earnings takes a very long time and has to follow several attempts to contact the "absent" parent.

You can get it reduced if you have 50/50 contact and for some other things to, you need to contact them and have proof of everything you have alredy paid to her or on her behalf (swimming lessons etc) but be aware that anything you show you have already paid will be deducted off her benefit and she may be prosecuted for fradulant claim if she has not been declaring it.

StewieGriffinsMom Tue 07-Jul-09 21:14:27

Message withdrawn

Surfermum Tue 07-Jul-09 21:14:36

I don't understand how the money has suddenly been taken. I thought that was a last resort if you refused to pay.

Have you seen a copy of their assessment?

StewieGriffinsMom Tue 07-Jul-09 21:15:39

Message withdrawn

KingCanuteIAm Tue 07-Jul-09 21:22:15

Oh and WRT her getting the childcare? If she did not get that £40 odd per month she would not be able to claim benefits for him, for her as a SP or for a bedroom for him on her housing benefit claim. That £40 to you would mean £000s to her.

yerblurt Tue 07-Jul-09 21:45:53

The CSA cannot move to a DEO (deduction from earnings order) without some form of communication and refusal to pay by your partner.

Can you find out what sort of written communication there has been between CSA + your partner there has been?

I would HIGHLY recommend your partner to join NACSA (national association for child support action), they are an organisation providing advice and information for all CSA related matters.

OK so you have to decide whether you can fund the present arrangement whereby you provide a hell of a lot of care financially for the child (despite having a shared care arrangement .... believe me, I know where you are coming from, I'm in the same boat myself).

CSA monies cover all day-to-day living costs. This includes:
- school lunches, uniforms, clothes - everything.

If the ex wants to play tough then you will have to meet that and be tougher.

Is this the same ex that has been racially abusing you???

It's all about control and this is another example of it.

AnitaBlake Tue 07-Jul-09 22:12:39

Hi, first £218 a month is about spot-on for £1200 a month, my OH pays similar, but this does not include overnights, you should be paying roughly half of this if it is true 50/50 access.

Second. Count it up, whats the percetage of overnights you have over the year? I only ask as a friend of mine got the CB transferred to him on this basis. You may need to fight fire with fire I'm afraid.

OrangeFish Tue 07-Jul-09 22:24:35

I really don't know what to say and excuse me if I'm a bit cynical, but you may be better off.

If you are paying absolutely everything (quoting: "We buy school uniform, all clothes, most food, furniture for his room at both houses, do all school runs so petrol and car upkeep, holidays, days out etc etc etc. ") well... it could be cheaper to pay the £218. I know that with that money I can hardly afford the basics of DS's needs, forget about paying holidays, days out, or starting a university fund.

OrangeFish Tue 07-Jul-09 22:26:01

Yes, check what percentage of the time the child stays with you, that could reduce that amount to half of it.

Jaquelinehyde Tue 07-Jul-09 22:26:10

I would firstly look into the contact that the CSA has had with your DOH.

If they have been in contact and payment has been refused, or he has ignored all letters then any action you try to take could make you look really sily, and just be turned away.

The CSA are not allowed to just take money, this must have been on going for some months. Speak to your DOH, and find out. If there truely has been no contact then the CSA must lift the DEO straight away. Although I doubt this is the case.

Hope it's sorted soon, and it is what is best for everyone involved especially any DC's involved.

OrangeFish Tue 07-Jul-09 22:30:52

Actually... I have just calculated it... are you sure your DH earns £1200? The CSA calculates child maintenance as 15% of his salary AFTER taxes if the child doesn't stay overnight.

I really don't know how much taxes your husband is paying but if he wasn't paying any at all, £217 would be more than 18%. Does the child has a disability which may have caused a variation (increase)?

If not, get your husband on your case ASAP

OrangeFish Tue 07-Jul-09 22:31:36

sorry, that should have read "on the case" meaning get him to contact the CSA asap

edam Tue 07-Jul-09 23:06:18

Is there any chance your dh has been fibbing? 'Mysterious deduction' is very unlikely - far more likely he's been getting letters but hasn't replied or told you.

guaranagal Tue 07-Jul-09 23:41:18

The only thing I can think is we moved flat (in same building) about 4 months ago and we never told the ex as I didn't want her knowing after she attacked me (I felt vulnerable when I was home alone).

If she informed the CSA then she would have given a different flat number and the letters might never have arrived.

That's the only thing I can think of. I might have to knock downstairs and see if they have any mail for us....

KingCanuteIAm Tue 07-Jul-09 23:49:24

Did you have a redirect on your mail when you moved? What has happened about any other mail that you have not managed to change (junkmail etc)?

TBH I would have thought 4 months would not be long enough, eeven assuming he first contact from CSA came the first day you moved out they would have to give you circa 2 weeks to reply to the first letter, then write again to check the first letter got through, then another letter telling you you need to respond, then anther confirming that, then another telling you what will happen if you do not respond... all the way through to them locating his employer and contacting them and arranging for the attacment to be activated.... I really don't see it all playing out in the space of 4 months.

sunshine13 Wed 08-Jul-09 08:13:32

I agree with edam. I doubt that this payment would have myseriously have evaporated from his wages. Your lifestyle (or lack of it) is not maintainable. From your other posts I can tell that you sound close to breaking point.. I would be asking what sort of hold does his ex have on him.

This isnt acceptable and your OH shouldnt be expecting you to put up with it.

Sounds as if you need to sit down with your OH and have a stern talk. Even my CSA's standards that amount per month is too much. Either they have seirously messed up or your OH earns much more than he's telling you about. I could be reading this wrongly but there seems to be much more here than meets the eye & I think only your OH has the answers.

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