I really need some friendly advice on this.
I am Step Parent to my Husbands daughter, 6 years old.
My Husband left her mother when she had just turned 3. We have since married and had our own Son, 10 months.
The wife is still very bitter and only JUST allowing the contact that the court ordered over a year ago. My Husband daughter was spoken to by a Cafcass officer and she told them, on two occasions she wanted to stay over at Daddys more. On the occasion that she was spoken to in front of Mum, she expressed a wish for contact at a 'contact centre' - if you asked her what a contact centre was at the time, she didnt know!! I say no more....
Anyway, my husband appears to be racked with guilt that he left. He knows that in terms of his relationship with his then wife, leaving was the best thing he ever did but he would hate for his daughter to feel that he left because of her.
Anyway, she now stays at our house every other week without fuss but the problem is, from the moment she walks through the door, to the moment she leaves the next day, my husband is at her beck and call. Whether it be, riding her bike, to colouring, to playing on the trampoline, to carrying her when she wants to be carried from the shops, to getting up at 5am with her if she wakes up and can't go back to bed!
Now, he leaves before 9am on a Saturday morning to pick her up and is not back til gone 11 normally, he is then gone for approx. 3 hours on Sunday dropping her home and like i say, when they're at ours, he doesnt sit down with me and our son for 5 minutes.
We eat childrens food when she is there because he doesnt want her to eat, chips, nuggets or fishfingers on her own....you get the idea?
Anyway, my Sons Christening was organised for a Sunday when his daughter is not there because we are having friends/family back afterwards and I thought it would be rude for him to up sticks when we've guests. He has now decided he would quite like her there and so I have suggested that it would be lovely too and that we should pick her up as normal on the Saturday but ask her mum to collect her on Sunday - this is not an option as he doesnt want the Ex at our house - he cannot explain why.
Since he suggested her coming, he has already picked her dress etc etc ..
How do I deal with this situation? It's our Son's day and our family will be there to see us all. Surely, he can see that?
Of course, if she can be there then great but if it means him leaving half way through the day, when we have guests then surely it isnt an option?
I could go on and on....advice please. x
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Advice needed....
8 replies
Katelyn · 10/06/2009 13:45
OP posts:
mrsjammi ·
11/06/2009 09:51
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