Talk

Flip

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Step-parenting

My DDs' HB.....

4 replies

BadgerBadger · 20/04/2005 01:08

My DH has a DS from a previous relationship. Our DD's together are 3yrs and the LLO is 7 months.

My DH doesn't have contact with SS, unfortunately. It's another long and sad story amongst the many here, so I won't go into details .

How is the best way to give my DD's an awareness of a HB they most probably wont meet for a long time, if ever? (He lives in another country.)

I really don't know where to start. Though we have pictures of SS as a baby, we have no recent ones, he's 8 this year.

Any advice appreciated.
Thanks.

OP posts:

Report

Fio2 · 20/04/2005 07:28

I really dont know. i will face this quandry in afew years time and I have no idea what to say.

All i know is I have half brothers and sisters and I have never been bothered about them, but that is just me

Report

BadgerBadger · 20/04/2005 13:01

Yes, DH has a half brother that he knew of. He lived in the same town so they bumped into each other now and then. They didn't really get on and don't keep in touch at all.

I dont know what to do either Fio . I think I'd like them to know about him from an early age, but then I don't want to get their hope's up that they will ever have the chance to have the relationship they might wish for. Given his mother's attitude, I find it hard to believe that he would ever want to meet either DH, or our DD's and certainly not me.

OP posts:

Report

swiperfox · 20/04/2005 13:09

Hi Badgerbadger. DP also has a son that he doesn't see who will be 8 this year.

Our two are 10 months and 3 and our dd has no idea that he even exists.

Part of it was my choice. His Mother caused an awful lot of trouble for us (and to a degree still is even though we never see any of them) I had decided that when dd and ds are old enough to make a decision as to whether they want to see him then I will tell them about him. I'm not sure how though.

My parents divorced when I was young and my biggest fear was my Dad having other children. I wouldn't have wanted to meet them and I know a lot of people who say the same.

It's not an easy one!!!

Report

BadgerBadger · 22/04/2005 02:03

Swiperfox, I suppose I was thinking along the lines that if his existance isn't hidden from them then there will never be that big day when we tell them. I'm concerned about hiding it from them because I don't want to shock them with the news in the future, I also don't want them to feel that we've hidden anything from them. But, OTOH, I don't want to give them false hope (as I'm sure any hope would be) and I want to protect them from the difficulties that any contact or attempt of, would bring.

One word - Aaargh!

(Is that a word?!)