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Meeting Step son for the first time- help

(10 Posts)
glucose Sat 23-Aug-08 21:22:33

He is 14, my DH saw him a few times when he was less than a year old (long story!) I have made contact with them which has been positively received. What do I say to a 14 year old boy? I think he plays cricket, I have been reading all the Telegraph Cricket report today -but I just don't really get cricket

glucose Sat 23-Aug-08 21:58:44


Aimsmum Sat 23-Aug-08 22:01:16

Message withdrawn

BitOfFun Sat 23-Aug-08 22:02:55

I wouldn't try to be a cricket expert, lol! Just look happy to see him and go and do something fun like quasar or similar after a quick lunch would be my suggestion, and sound intersed in him without interrogating him. Good luck, hope it goes well smile

glucose Sat 23-Aug-08 22:04:56


bluebelldancer Sat 23-Aug-08 22:06:14

I have no personal experience but a friend has a step-son a similar age. They have trodden a long road to get to their current relationship which is very good.

Take it very slowly, don't expect too much. Try to remember how difficult it must be for him. 14 sounds old but it's not.

I hope it goes well for all of you. Extended families can work very well. You say your contact has been positively received presumably he's choosing to meet you so that is a great sign.

youcannotbeserious Sun 24-Aug-08 07:44:09

Def. don't plan too much. get him to talk to you about it instead!

And, having a 13.5YO step daughter, agree with bluebelldancer - don't expect too much, sometimes my DSD1 can be a bit monosylabic - it's just the age! grin

I do hope it goes well... Let him know that want to get to know him and have a relationship with him and support him in anyway you can..

Can I ask if your DH has supported the boy financially?

The lad might have a few questions about why his dad hasn't seen him before and also why it was you making contact. Do be prepared for a couple of awkward questions....

Good luck!

YumeeMumee Sun 24-Aug-08 08:13:36

Sorry - no experience of this but wanted to wish you luck smile

IMO as others have said....14 is an awkward age as it is, let alone having to meet step parents...take it slowly, try and keep positive and fingers crossed that it all goes well for you.

glucose Mon 25-Aug-08 11:42:49

Thanks for posts everyone

It was fairly ok, and I did not try to be clever about cricket. Myself and my DD didn't stay to long.

youcannotbe - yes they have been very well supported finacially. DH & his ex wife have 2 different sides to the story as to why DH has only seen his DS a handful of times.

youcannotbeserious Mon 25-Aug-08 11:57:32

glad it went well..

will you see him again?

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