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DH's Ex's dad died... :-(

(13 Posts)
youcannotbeserious Tue 08-Jul-08 22:02:10

Dh is away all week so nothing he can do. I've offered to have the DSDs. Cannot think of anything that I can do or would be appropriate.

Have called DH's mum and DH's friends who knew him.

Suppose that's really all I can do, but he was a decent chap and my DSDs have lost their grandad.

Doodle2U Tue 08-Jul-08 22:04:08

Hmmm, tricky one. How well do you get on with the children's mum under normal circumstances?

I can't think of anything else you could do just at the minute either but good luck. The kids need some careful handling now I should think.

youcannotbeserious Tue 08-Jul-08 22:10:13

We are civil to each other.

We are not friends, by any stretch of the imagination, but we've dealt with each other for the last 10 years and there is a certain amount of care and respect, IYSWIM.

We have a common interest in ensuring the kids are OK, which is why I feel it's appropriate to offer my help for them.

Doodle2U Tue 08-Jul-08 22:12:37

Right, well dunno if this is any good or, indeed, apprpriate but I found this on Amazon. There may be other books and guides which are better but take a look in case you need it?


Doodle2U Wed 09-Jul-08 11:42:25

. for daytime crowd.

youcannotbeserious Wed 09-Jul-08 19:20:26

Well, as a bit of an update:

DH's ex has accepted my offer to look after the kids so she can go and see her mother.

Weirdly, she did this through my DH (who is in Russia) - so she called him to ask if I would take the kids. He called me to check that's OK. I sorted stuff out, called him back to say yes and he calls her back to say yes, it's fine...

DH's ex and I are less than 5 miles away from each other.... Bizarre.

ANyway, I am glad I offered and glad she accepted.

Doodle2U Wed 09-Jul-08 20:42:16

Does seem like a round the houses and back again sort of way of communicating but hey, she's grieving and vulnerable, so let it be, I say!

I hope the kids are OK for you and not too down in the dumps. Children are better than adults when it comes to death, in my experience (I have quite a bit of experience in this - was only 8 myself when my mother had the audacity to drop down dead!), so fingers crossed, they're reasonably comfortable with what's happening. smile

Doodle2U Wed 09-Jul-08 20:43:21

PS - don't know why there is only me and thee on this thread YCBS - can only assume we are missing a tremendous bun fight some where else on MN at the moment!grin

youcannotbeserious Wed 09-Jul-08 20:45:50

Thanks Doodle.

not sure where everyone is, but I think lots of schools have broken up now for the summer, so maybe epopel are on holiday.

youcannotbeserious Wed 09-Jul-08 20:46:16

Or, people even! grin

Hulababy Wed 09-Jul-08 20:53:38

Sounds like you are doing the right things already. I would assume communication ebtween the two or you direct may happen a bit more when you have the girls.

I would possible send a card of condolences too.

youcannotbeserious Wed 09-Jul-08 20:56:14

Dh has sent a card, as has his mum and some friends that knew him.

dont think I should as I only knew him through DH / DSDs and given it was DH's ex, well, it doesn't seem right.

Direct comms haven't occured in the last 10 years and probaby won't now. I thought they might , but never mind.

I'm happy to be able to help out.

Hulababy Wed 09-Jul-08 20:58:08

No, if DH has alreaady then I agree.

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