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My DS is a total daddy's girl to my DP - her stepdad! anyone else have this?

(12 Posts)
Pontypine Mon 07-Jul-08 22:56:47

My DD is 4 and a half and i have been with my OH for 18months - we are expecting our own DC in 17weeks and getting married next year.

I was talking "sons and daughters" (not the 1980s soap) with another mum the other day and mentioned that my DS idolises his dad, she said that it's normally girls who are daddies girls and i said that DD is - but with her stepdad. she looked a bit suprised!

DD has not lived with her dad since she was 18months old and my OH is her father figure. She follows him everywhere and is the first to kiss him and cuddle him when he gets home from work - in fact she'd rather sit and cuddle him than me most of the time!!

anyone else with a DD the same age have the same experience?

(I think it's lovely by the way and am not complaining)

Pontypine Mon 07-Jul-08 22:57:38

Edit: title should be DD not DS!! damn D and S keys being next to each other!!!

terrier141 Tue 08-Jul-08 10:16:14

Yes I have exactly the same with my dd aged 8 - I do get a bit jealous sometimes! Lol! No - I think its great really, Im really glad they are so close. My DS age 6 adores dh (stepdad) too - although hes a mummys boy!

youcannotbeserious Tue 08-Jul-08 16:58:40

Not quite the same, but I've been a SM to my two DSDs since they were 3 and less than 1YO...

I have a very close relationship with both girls. I think it's natural when he's been around since she was so young.

Am glad you are proud of their relationship. It's good that she has him in her life... Does she still see her biological father?

Pontypine Tue 08-Jul-08 18:12:04

Yes definately, i think it's really cute! i think people are a bit shocked when they realise she is not his daughter!!!

Yes she does still see her dad but only for 29hrs a fortnight....can you tell that is a slight issue for me at the moment?!?! GRRR!! (We have them for 307 hrs so you would expect them to be close!!)

youcannotbeserious Tue 08-Jul-08 18:48:03

i must admit to finding it funny that people would say 'oooh. she's so like YOU' when of course, she couldn't be because we were'nt related!!! grin

Sounds like she has a good role model... sorry she doesn't see her biological dad so much but at least she still has a realtionship with him

ElenorRigby Tue 08-Jul-08 21:53:22

Pontypine how often does your daughter see her biological dad?
If he wants to see her to you encourage that

Pontypine Wed 09-Jul-08 16:14:04

she sees her dad every other week, i'd love him to have them both every weekend but he wants "time on his own with his girlfriend" (obviously the 300 hours he gets inbetween seeing the kids is not enough!)

I've asked him to have them one day a week for tea after school and he won't - he said "i will if you WANT me to but i will adjust my maintenance accordingly" (I felt like replying "just deduct £4 a week for 2 happy meals" but resisted!)

He is, IMO, a reluctant dad! when they are not with him, he doesn't seem to care. he doesn't contact me to see how they are, doesn't ring them, doesn't ask to have them any extra (the only time he ever has them for long weekends is if i ask him cos me and OH are going away somewhere)

It's very sad really because we are both from "broken homes" and my dad didn't give my mum any money for us and never did anything with us when he had us and his dad and mum never spoke so we agreed our kids would never be in that situation but it seems he is getting more like my father all the time!

At least my kids have a stable home life, a stepdad they adore and don't want for anything.

NotDoingTheHousework Wed 09-Jul-08 16:18:43

Message withdrawn

ElenorRigby Wed 09-Jul-08 19:13:08

Pontypine Im sorry to hear your DD's dad is putting his gf before your DD. Pretty poor imo especially as my DP would/has walked over hot coals for his DD.
As for his saying "i will if you WANT me to but i will adjust my maintenance accordingly" He is wrong (and being really mean!)...adjustments to CM can only be made for additional overnight stays.

fizzymum Thu 10-Jul-08 11:05:56

My DS was 18months and DD was 5 when their father left. They see him once in the week and every other weekend. DD idolises her father but because DS was so young when ex left the relationship between him and his father is a bit strained at times, mainly down to my ex who had no real interest in DS until after he was potty trained, pretty much able to get himself dressed and play fottie in the park.

Meanwhile along came my (new) DH and I think that DS looks more upon him as a father figure rather than his own father IYSWIM? mainly because DH was doing all the "father" type things with him that ex wasn't interested in doing with DS until he got a bit older.

elkiedee Thu 10-Jul-08 11:33:08

Ponty, sorry to hear your ex is being so rubbish, but it's great that your dd has such a good relationship with your dp.

I didn't get on so well with my stepdad - we did at first but not for that long - I get on with him better now although he left my mum years ago. But in between my mum lived with someone else and I really idolised him. Even after they split up and we went to live abroad for a year he used to write me carefully illustrated letters explaining the world politics of the time (mid 70s) to a 5/6 year old!

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