Hello.
I've been with my new partner for two years and started cohabiting at the start of the first lock down.
I see my own kids who are still in single digits 50% and my partner sees hers slightly less we try to encourage an overlap two weekends a month where we do something fun and all eat together. My prayers kids are very good with mine and no problems have arisen.
The reason for my post is that I find it difficult to form any sort of bond with my partners daughter. Her youngest. Her son who is nearly 16 is much easier despite the fact everything revolves around football of which I have no interest. Perhaps because my inner child reverts back to being 16 or possible because he's a boy I find it easier, but he does start conversations and ask me things. There is some shared interest in Xbox gaming. It was my passion before kids and of course he spends his spare time playing fifa.
I don't have anything in common with her daughter who is 13 apart from one thing. Cooking. I have no experience in how to talk to a 13 year old and I guess it saps my confidence. I try in fits and starts.
I am the cook in the house and enjoy doing it, my step daughter is a veggie and I always make a creative alternative to the main meal or sometime just make a vegetarian dish for us all. Prior to that she'd just have quorn sausages. I generally don't get any feed back, or a thanks even which disheartens me I have mentioned it to my partner who understands and has said she have a word. I've said don't. As I don't want to feel like I'm telling tales.
She often bakes, and I've offered to help. And also asked if she wants to help me. She doesn't. In fact the dialogue is basic at best. She can't even look at me when she says no.
Also when she has a question about life, history, science she will always ask her mum. If her mum said she didn't know, I'd pipe up and provide the answer. Which would be greeted with they recoil cringe wft do you know face kids do... so I've stopped doing it at all. I feel like a bit of an irrelevant spare part who just puts a roof over their heads and makes tea...
I know the majority of it is my own insecurities, inexperienced and lack of confidence so really any tips and advice would be greatly received.
In addition to this, when the two step siblings argue, fight as kids do, it intimidates me. I'm not a small guy, 6ft1 but I don't know how to tackle that either, I certainly don't feel comfortable telling them off... again any advice here too.
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Step-parenting
Advice for dad with step teens
41 replies
steveuk1979 · 11/11/2020 09:47
OP posts:
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