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How long to introduction?

(14 Posts)
Fairygodmotherplease Tue 27-Oct-20 08:42:02

Hi,
Just wondering how long you waited before meeting a new partner's children?

OP’s posts: |
ladybee28 Tue 27-Oct-20 08:52:31

I met DSS about 3 months in (he was 10 at the time) – as a friend, though, not as DP's new girlfriend.

We didn't introduce that idea until we were sure we were going somewhere, by which time I was already something of a no-big-deal part of life for DSS.

MeridianB Tue 27-Oct-20 10:14:30

Ours was a year.

TeddyIsaHe Tue 27-Oct-20 10:16:17

Dd met Dp at around 6 months. We just hung out, no PDA or anything. He didn’t stay over for a long time after that (only when she was at her dad’s).

We’re not moving in together for a very long time, so he comes over for dinner, sometimes stays over. It’s very much led by Dd, if she wasn’t comfortable I wouldn’t push it. But it works for us.

sassbott Tue 27-Oct-20 12:04:38

Year. Wish I’d waited longer. Like maybe never. grin. Don’t rush it. Children add complications. Enjoy the honeymoon phase.

Youseethethingis Tue 27-Oct-20 13:22:38

2 years for us. DSDs mother still thought it was too soon. DH eventually had to force the issue (having been waiting patiently for her to be ok with it for about a year).
The wait is as close as you will ever get to a child free relationship so I’m enjoy it!

MyGodImSoYoung Tue 27-Oct-20 14:47:57

My DSS is the reason DP and I got together (sort of), so I knew him from the beginning, but it was almost a year before he knew that we were actually in a relationship.

My DSD didn't meet me for a year, slightly after DSS was told.

A year felt like a long time to me, as I knew that I wanted things to progress from very early on. However, I don't have children and respected DP's wishes to keep things separate (excluding that I knew DSS from his hobby).

MeridianB Tue 27-Oct-20 19:18:18

sassbott

Year. Wish I’d waited longer. Like maybe never. grin. Don’t rush it. Children add complications. Enjoy the honeymoon phase.

This cracked me up. You’re a star, @sassbott

COS2102 Tue 27-Oct-20 20:00:22

A couple of months but like others have said, the introduction was casual and not a relationship introduction...just a new friend. Worked well for us. No two situations are the same I guess

KylieKoKo Tue 27-Oct-20 23:08:59

I actually met his kids before we started seeing each other as we had mutual friends and he took them to a BBQ
I was at.

Tiredoftattler Wed 28-Oct-20 15:00:21

We waited for a year and then did not move in together for another year until we got married. We both had teenage daughters and were unwilling to do anything that we would not tolerate in our home together. So we decided not to live together as we did not want to model the bringing in SOs for sleeping overs as acceptable behavior.
This worked well for us. The girls probably had a sense that we were together, but I think that they appreciated the time for everyone to get to know each other without the stress of living together.

We would not have married had any of the kids objected, so we wanted to give everyone time to adjust. I think it also helped that we said to them that we would definitely not be having a child together. They were all happy that there would not be any changes in the family structure, and neither of us wanted to have a child whose parentage was different than that of our current children.

SoloMummy Wed 28-Oct-20 17:06:55

Fairygodmotherplease

Hi,
Just wondering how long you waited before meeting a new partner's children?

I wouldn't expect to have anything more than a short, informal friend style intro at 6 months. And building up from there on a very gradual basis.

user1493413286 Thu 29-Oct-20 07:12:14

6 months and then it was quite casual. It was the right amount of time for us as we’d been friends before and at 6 months knew it was going to be a serious relationship

19lottie82 Fri 30-Oct-20 17:54:49

3 months. DPs (now DH!) suggestion. I thought it was a bit soon but we both knew at that point that it was a serious relationship.

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