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Language for DS to use about DP

(5 Posts)
CrumpetMonster Sat 29-Sep-07 08:16:00

I have a lovely DP and a lovely DS and they get on really well. We are moving to a new house together for a new start and i am really looking forward to it. DS is looking forward to it as well, he's excited but I have realised he has not really told his friends at school about it and I wonder if I need to help him out with the language etc - I don't use boyfriend, partner etc somehow I'm not comfortable with them but does this mean DS has no words to describe DP in his life? Can anyone suggest 1. how I approach with DS (he's 8) and 2. what words to suggest other than boyfriend (so coy someh) or partner (which is a bit businesslike). Lover etc obv out!!!

Desiderata Sat 29-Sep-07 09:00:46

You've got two options, as far as I see it.

1. DS calls DP 'Dad'
2. DS calls DP by his name.

I suspect that No.2 will be the most popular. When talking to his friends, "XXX is my step-dad" is probably the best choice, even though you're not married. I doubt that it will matter to your son's peers ... and you're right ... it stops that awkward 'boyfriend/partner' situation.

CrumpetMonster Sat 29-Sep-07 12:14:16

I couldn't ever see me having DS call him "Dad" cos he has a dad. he calls him naturally by his first name but it's more how he refers to him ie my mum's boyfriend etc which seems to be awkward - as if he's mine but not his. If you see...

Desiderata Sat 29-Sep-07 18:05:09

... oh, I do see. It's really awkward, isn't it. Especially with young lads, who would gag at the thought of using the word 'boyfriend' under any circumstance!

I think step-dad's a good compromise under the circumstances. That said, if he just stuck to XXXX, my mum's friend, that would probably suffice.

I'd imagine it's all pretty normal within his peer group.

CrumpetMonster Sun 30-Sep-07 11:59:14

yes exactly. I think xxxx my mum's friend is probably the safest option and ultimately if we do get married he can say stepdad. I wouldn't have any problem with stepdad if we were married.

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