This might be a long one so I apologise! Long time lurker, posted a few times but never about this so any advice would be appreciated even if people feel I'm/we're in the wrong.
A little background:
I've been with my partner a while (length of time doesn't matter) and he has 2 DC 6 & 7. They are angels... I love then like they're my own although sometimes their behaviour drives me mad but they're kids at the end of the day!
He hasn't been with their mum for 5 years and are on and off amicable.
Current situation that I need advice one:
We have the SC 50/50, not dead on but over a month period it is 50/50. He pays his ex £200 pm to have the children 50/50 and we pay for everything to do with the kids when they're here and he also gives her extra money for uniform and school bits if needed.
He's fed up of paying £200 pm for the privilege of having his own children considering they're with us 50% of the time. He had a look and according to CMS he has them 175+ days a year so sent his ex the calculation gave her warning it will change and that the money aspect was the only thing to change.
Naturally she hit the roof.
I've then looked into it and into the legislation and he technically does not need to pay her a penny although we both agreed that we would go by the CMS calculator and he would pay her that.
Bear in mind I do not get involved and only support him if required.
So we've drawn up a letter and a calendar to give to her (calendar because she thought 3+5 is 7 days a week... and she thinks he only has them 3 nights a week although it's 4 and last week it was 5) but before we could give it her to be amicable she's now text him mocking him saying if he wants it 50:50 he can have it like that (even though it already is) and left us in the lurch with the kids tonight knowing we've both got work tomorrow, her excuse was that she was busy.
From the constant arguments (which I've told him to stop) all she cares about is the money and not the fact that she's got a man who is happy to have his children and provide and care for them.
I don't know where to go with this to support him, when he's mentioned it previously to her about dropping the payments she's gone mental and used the kids as a weapon and then he's given up but this time he's sticking by his guns because we believe he is in the right and she's taking him for a right mug!
Oh and to top it all off I'm pregnant and we were gonna tell her tonight! Not anymore!
I just need some advice on what to do to help him, I wouldn't directly intervene even if she tried to bring me into it because at the end of the day it's about the care of kids not money, not me, not anything else in the world she's just being plain old difficult because she wants money for nothing.
If I'm wrong, tell me I'm wrong but please give constructive criticism because I think I need it!
If you got this far thank you, and if you reply double thank you!
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Help with SC Mum
19 replies
icantstandhorridhenry · 23/06/2020 18:48
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