Can I have a moan?

(7 Posts)
Grubbyy Sun 07-Jun-20 17:55:58

I'm about to sound horrible I imagine but I need to have a moan.

I'm really struggling at the moment when DSC come over as I just find it so incredibly.... Boring and irritating.

We have them every weekend without fail. DH and Ex just decide when they are staying, there is no routine but we often have them over 4 nights a week and always over the weekend. I've tried to get him to see a set routine would be so much better for everyone involved but he daren't say no to ex.

I just feel like my entire weekend is spent keeping out of the way whilst they take over the house playing games, talking to their friends on headsets loudly etc... They've taken to one sitting upstairs in the bedroom and the other in the lounge downstairs so they can both sit on the phones to friends whilst they play.

I just feel like my house is taken over every weekend, I never have any time to chill out at a weekend or just sit in my own lounge. DH is rubbish at doing other things with them, I've given up trying to get them to do other things now as they just aren't interested and DH doesn't bother joining in so I feel like why should I? But at the same time I just can't wait for them to go to bed so I can have my house back.

I find it so annoying never knowing when they are coming from one week to the next during the week. There is no structure for anyone.

I'm slowly starting to resent the time they spend here and I don't want to be like that but I just feel like I have no real time to myself.

OP’s posts: |
aSofaNearYou Sun 07-Jun-20 20:03:38

You need to insist on some kind of balance, like you would with your own kids. Nobody should be doing something somewhere all day if it means nobody else can do anything, so if they are playing games all day they need to do it in their bedroom, you should still be able to do things.

AnneLovesGilbert Sun 07-Jun-20 23:23:55

Why is he scared to have healthy boundaries with his ex and a structured routine with his kids so everyone knows what’s happening when? As you have them more than half the time on a regular basis he’s the resident parent so it’s unlikely she’ll get awkward about access if he wants a routine.

Why doesn’t she want to have weekend time with them?

He’s chosen to live with you, he can’t carry on like a single man making plans with no consideration for you.

Giespeace Sun 07-Jun-20 23:34:39

Chuck them out of the living room and reclaim your space. Any whinging is for their DF to deal with.
This whole set up is so unhealthy for everyone involved. Who is actually benefiting from this?

ukgift2016 Mon 08-Jun-20 05:50:46

Taking over the living room is unacceptable. They both should be in their bedroom playing games.

Surely you can talk to your OH about this?

MeridianB Mon 08-Jun-20 07:27:13

Sounds like you have them almost full time. But DH is still the NRP?

Agree with others that the living room should be for everyone. That needs to change straight away.

Does you DH do everything for them when they stay? Cooking etc?

chocolatesaltyballs22 Mon 08-Jun-20 09:18:13

Hi OP, I saw your previous post about this and you're not being horrible at all. But I'm just wondering why you haven't spoken to your husband as people suggested then. He needs to a) insist upon a routine for the kids staying, and b) actually parent them and not allow them to take over the living room when they're there. My stepkids spend most of their time gaming but not in my living room - they do it in their bedrooms. Your husband needs to step up, and until you speak to him about it nothing will change.

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