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Stepkids and bedrooms

(11 Posts)
chocolatesaltyballs22 Mon 04-May-20 10:59:32

Background: We have a 4 bed house and three kids between us. My 16yo daughter is with us pretty much full time and my two stepkids usually visit 3 days a week. They are 13 and 19, two boys. (They haven't been staying with us at all for the last 6 weeks as husband is shielding and we jointly made the decision with their mum that the kids should not travel between houses).

My 16yo has the second biggest bedroom in the house after our master bedroom. We have another double bedroom and then a box room. Up until last Sept when the eldest went to uni, the youngest had the box room. Then we moved the youngest into the other double and had the box room as a spare room (and the eldest used it when he was home for the holidays). The boys mum had done the same and moved youngest into bigger room, but now that he's home from uni she's made the youngest give up his bigger bedroom for his big brother.

I kinda feel this is a bit unfair and when they are back staying with us I intend to keep the arrangement the same as it was when the eldest was just back for hols, even though I know he will be back for longer. Is this unreasonable? I feel like he only needs a big room at one of the houses at his age, and then he can take a decision on where he stays.

OP’s posts: |
JKScot4 Mon 04-May-20 11:02:26

The smallest room goes to the one there the least.

chocolatesaltyballs22 Mon 04-May-20 11:03:41

Yeah I agree....except until the universities go back they will both be here the same number of nights (unless the eldest decides to stay at his mum's more).

OP’s posts: |
chocolatesaltyballs22 Mon 04-May-20 11:43:07

Any other opinions?

OP’s posts: |
BruceAndNosh Mon 04-May-20 11:59:06

I'd keep it as you've got it now. Each boy has a large room at one house and a small one at the other

aSofaNearYou Mon 04-May-20 12:24:43

I think you have it right.

chocolatesaltyballs22 Mon 04-May-20 12:32:28

Cool. Thanks all.

OP’s posts: |
humanvision123 Mon 04-May-20 12:51:11

Your house, your decision.

Reginabambina Mon 04-May-20 12:53:45

You d already made the switch, I’d just leave it. He’s hardly going to throw a strop about it at his age is he?

chocolatesaltyballs22 Mon 04-May-20 13:22:52

Yeah I was planning to until their mum made them switch rooms again so it made me second guess myself but it looks like the MN opinion is unanimous!

OP’s posts: |
SandyY2K Mon 04-May-20 18:47:16

Leave it as it is. The older one already gets a bigger room.at his mums now.

I don't think parents realise how this kind of thing can really affect kids.....theyrememberthese things a lot longer than you think.

You've got it right OP.

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