Moving out

(7 Posts)
Dreams2184 Tue 21-Apr-20 08:29:57

Hello, so I met my partner 18 months ago and we moved in together very quickly. At the time I was grieving for my son who was born sleeping at 27 weeks from a previous relationship.

At the beginning he didn't see his 2 children as there mum wouldn't allow it she had moved in with her new partner and was just being horrible. Anyway have 2 months he started seeing them every weekend and saw them too. The pressure on family life was tested as the mother would always change the times at weekends with very little notice and we wasn't allowed family holidays or weekends away. She also wouldn't allow my partner to sell there family home even though she wasn't paying her 1/2.

Fast forward 18 months he's now divorced, house in on the market, court process is nearly complete for 50/50 joint care order and it's been hell on earth through CAFCASS, section 7 reports and it's now taken a toll on our relationship to the point where I've had to move out for my own sanity and during lock down this hasn't been easy.

The relationship has come very toxic and i need a break and I also need to grieve for my baby I've actually spoke to a priest and he's going to conduct a service for me in my sons memory once lockdown is over.

I'm now at a loss do I just end this relationship or do I try to continue it by living a part it going to give me the tint and space I need the kids are 12 and 8 and I adore them but end of the day there not my children.

OP’s posts: |
Stantons Tue 21-Apr-20 09:09:27

Wow you poor thing you have been through a hell of a time.

I'm not sure more is the time to make any firm decisions. Get settled in your own place, assuming you're in the UK you can't see your OH at the moment anyway. Take this time to recover emotionally from it all, grieve for your baby and for the relationship that wasn't what you wanted. When the restrictions are lifted see how you feel, maybe start dating your OH again see how that goes and take it from there.

If you are child free and single and have the option to be with someone else child free then do it, living it myself and reading threads on here and else where I would tell anyone to run from the situation you describe

Dreams2184 Tue 21-Apr-20 09:27:29


Yeah I'm in the UK, moving during in lockdown is hard work... there's more go on then in the thread but I still love the guy I'm just fed up of me putting my heart and soul into a relationship and him taking it all and not giving me any support back.

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Techway Tue 21-Apr-20 09:33:32

I am so sorry for your loss. Take the time you need to grieve and you will need to prioritise yourself.

You have supported your boyfriend and if he is a good man he will support you in anyway, even if this means time apart.

It was crazy for him and his ex to get involved in relationships before they had ended their marriage. It must be horrendous for their children.

I think if your instinct this relationship is toxic then you need to listen to yourself. Not everyone who comes into your life is supposed to remain for life.

Dreams2184 Tue 21-Apr-20 11:13:47

I know....... just trying to take stock of past 18 months and I need self care.

Just hard work

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SandyY2K Tue 21-Apr-20 12:05:15

I think it all moved to quickly and you haven't really had the fun that most relationships do in the beginning stages at least.

It's been filled with an acrimonious split, court battles and so much negativity.

I feel it's more hassle and baggage than you or anyone else needs tbh.

Dreams2184 Tue 21-Apr-20 18:48:52

You're right..... it's been horrible every step of the way

OP’s posts: |

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