Ex dh and affect on children and my new relationship

(3 Posts)
Mumofthree1984 Tue 31-Mar-20 13:22:13

I separated from my ex dh two years ago. A year after that I met my now dp, and we are getting on well, he is great with the dc, we have good and bad days, mainly with dd2 she is finding it all so confusing. My ex dh does not see the dc in a regular basis. He has blocked my phone number. He rarely calls the dc on their phones and sometimes doesn't reply to dd2's txt messages when she reaches out to him. He has told mutual friends lies about me and new dp and has also reported me to ss saying I have no food in the house and my children aren't being well cared for. Ss past this of as malicious after both school saying all dc are fantastic children. On the rare occasion he has seen them (all his choice) my middle dc has a total mood change. She can become withdrawn, rude, snappy and doesn't eat properly. I hate to see her affected by this so much. I just don't know where to start or what to do for the best. My dp wants a child with me and whilst I was planning on this, ive decided now isn't the right time. I'm worried as age isn't on my side and I dobt want him to miss his opportunity of a child but I feel I need some advise on what to do for the best. I don't want our lives to be so affected by this toxic bitter man. I know he is hurting and has taken the break up so badly and that hurts me also to think he is hurting, but it doesn't have to be like this. We did do mediation last year two sessions but the whole time he just Brought everything up about me and didn't seem to want to make a plan for seeing dc. I'm just at a point I dunno what to do anymore

OP’s posts: |
SandyY2K Wed 01-Apr-20 07:39:08

Do you actually want more children? Don't have one just to keep your DP, another child has to be something you really want.

How would your existing children feel about another sibling, much younger than them.

Think very carefully about the impact on them. You've gone through the very early years of child rearing. ..do you really want to go back there?

Also bear in mind if your current relationship ends, you now have one more child to cope with on your own.

How old are you both?

Mumofthree1984 Wed 01-Apr-20 15:57:33

Thank you for your input. I would love to have one with dp if it's possible, and I feel the children would adapt ok, and if anything will probably enjoy helping a little. I do sometimes feel tho it's like starting right at the beginning again yes. Dp is 40 I'm 36 in summer.

OP’s posts: |

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in