I'm not a step parent myself but looking for some advice on how to maybe approach my sons dad and step mum with a little issue.
We have a successful blended family, ex and I share a 13 year old son and for the most part all get along well. Ex and step mum have a 7 year old son too. Lovely little boy but he is a particularly young 7 year old. 7 is young but quite babyish still, demands a lot of attention with tantrums and crying, still hasn't learnt to share or be a sport (melt downs if he loses a board game for example).
I know this because I care for him also, sleepovers and days out with my family and see him regularly. I often include him in things we do and he's been on holiday with us.
Over the past year + my 13 year old has really grown up and the age difference between him and 7 year old brother is much more apparent in terms of what he wants to do with his free time so the problem lies with how they spend their family time.
This of course in theory is none of my business but my son is spending less and less time at his dads (used to be every weekend) in favour of staying home and seeing friends. His reason is because they always do things together that are suited to his younger brother which he has no interest in.
I think my son needs to spend some time with just his dad on occasion, having a laugh and doing more grown up things. The problem is, step mum always insists on 7 year old being included in whatever they do whether she is there or not, ex tends to take the kids out alone a lot with SM staying home or busy elsewhere.
Cinema is always kids movies, football matches have been ruled out by SM as too much swearing and shouting for 7 year old. He isn't interested in football at all whereas ex and son support the same team. Son isn't allowed to play fortnite at their house on handheld device as 7 year old finds it too scary.
No computer games and wants son to sit and play Lego or play dough with his little brother for entertainment.
Even just going to the pub with his dad for a coke and burger in the evening is not an option as 7 year old has a strict early bath and bedtime routine which for some reason everyone has to be home for.
Son says his dad and step mum argue about this issue, ex seems to want to do things with eldest son only sometimes, step mum always insists younger son must not be left out and they end up at a soft play centre.
So son would rather stay at home with us on the weekend and he's of an age where I can't insist he goes. Or he goes for one night then gets the train home as he's bored.
Something has got to give here but what can I do/say? I don't want to get involved in something they clearly already argue about but I feel my son is losing out.
I have a 3 year old and one on the way so I know and deal with the age gap needs of my children even if it means we're not all together all of the time.
I have mentioned to ex a few times which has possibly led to him trying but no changes. Should I speak to step mum? Or is it just completely not my place and I should keep my nose out of their family life?
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Step-parenting
Needing some insight from step parents
22 replies
pollysproggle · 20/02/2020 10:04
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