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Wills and stepchildren

(13 Posts)
Jamjar18 Wed 19-Feb-20 18:17:11

My DH and I have been having a chat about our wills. He has 2 DS’s from a previous relationship and 1DSS. We have a DS together and he’s my only child. I have a property which I bought around the time I met my DH but it’s in my name and the deposit was entirely my own money. Its currently rented. My DH doesn’t own property. We are obviously talking about different scenarios. I’ve said if myself and our DS died I was happy for the property to be his. However I would want whatever the value in it when I died to then go to my brothers and sister when my DH died. Rather then it going to to his DC. My DH doesn’t seem to understand this and thinks I’m being unfair. This is despite him saying he wouldn’t leave anything to his DSS as he has a father to inherit from! Am I being unfair in wanting my family to benefit from my hard work prior to meeting DH rather then his DS’s?
(Please note I care about my DSS’s but I only came into their lives when they were 13 and 9 so I haven’t helped raise them in that sense. My siblings and I have never had extended family so have never inherited a penny from anyone. Hence why I would want to help them).

OP’s posts: |
QueenofallIsee Wed 19-Feb-20 18:19:10

He is being a grabby arsehole, especially as he has applied the same logic himself! He sees yours as his, and his as his!

Bagofoldbones Wed 19-Feb-20 18:19:57

There was a thread very similar to yours this past week - it actually had some really good advice and info on. I’ll see if I can find it

Hwory Wed 19-Feb-20 18:23:09

How would ‘the property be his’ if the value goes to your other family?

Bathtimebabies Wed 19-Feb-20 18:23:51

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3818158-Finances-wills-I-earn-more-and-he-has-DC

Bagofoldbones Wed 19-Feb-20 18:24:31

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3818158-Finances-wills-I-earn-more-and-he-has-DC

Here

frazzledasarock Wed 19-Feb-20 18:24:39

Presumably OP would bequeath a lifetime interest to her H, then upon his death the property would be bequeathed to her family.

Jamjar18 Wed 19-Feb-20 18:32:41

Thanks @Bathtimebabies will take a look.

I don’t know the official terms as I’ve only started looking now. However it was be as frazzle stated.

OP’s posts: |
Dontdisturbmenow Wed 19-Feb-20 18:35:52

It's yours to do what you want with. It's your will, your wishes. He doesn't have to like it.

MeridianB Wed 19-Feb-20 18:45:58

YADNBU OP

Don’t second guess yourself.

Drum2018 Wed 19-Feb-20 18:48:15

I wouldn't bother telling him what's in your will. Get it drawn up by your solicitor and if he asks just tell him it's sorted. Chances are you will change it over the years anyway, to suit your circumstances. We've had 2 so far, but now as teens are nearing adulthood we will change it again in a couple of years.

As for your Dh having a stepson, surely once he divorced his ex wife that legal tie was broken, so her son is no longer his stepson. confused

Jamjar18 Wed 19-Feb-20 19:07:52

You would think so Drum! It’s caused some issues. My husband was trying to push that he’s a brother to our DS which I put a stop to. We never see him, he’s 20 and only ever contacts my DH when he needs something- money!

OP’s posts: |
FranCess003 Tue 25-Feb-20 19:52:26

No no no! Your house, your will. Leave it to your family and get that will done ASAP on your own 🙃

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