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Need help!!! Step parenting!

(9 Posts)
mel0609 Mon 27-Jan-20 14:46:01

Step parenting to OHs children (Boy aged 6, girl aged 4) many issues with mum! Excessive drinking, poor diet for children, unstable lifestyle at home not consistent! Brought alcohol instead of lightbulb for sons room, demanding more money when paying weekly already plus extras. Always phoning to get OH to speak to children as they aren’t doing as they are told, house is a mess, too hungover to make lunch for children or take them to school. Son is becoming ill suspected to be related to stress at home! We have them every other weekend but want to have them full time but can’t find a way round it, kids are much happier and healthier when with us! What can I do to get round this issues as it is beginning to cause issues between myself and OH, please help!!

OP’s posts: |
aSofaNearYou Mon 27-Jan-20 15:13:05

Why don't you pursue having them full time?

mel0609 Mon 27-Jan-20 15:39:48

I don’t know how to go about it, we don’t have a suitable place for them to live with us at the moment we are trying hard to achieve this but keep coming to dead ends

OP’s posts: |
ColaFreezePop Mon 27-Jan-20 15:45:23

take them to school

You are going to have to let it get worse before you can make it better.

Your OH could help hurry that up by not being available to take her calls when the children are with her. Yes he should ring her back but not immediately.

notthisshitagain Mon 27-Jan-20 17:43:18

we don’t have a suitable place for them to live with us

Less suitable than the overall situation they are in at the moment?

How so?

AnneLovesGilbert Mon 27-Jan-20 20:09:11

Why’s it causing issues between you?

Your partner should be doing everything in his power to get the DC full time. It’s no good worrying about how awful it is for them and leaving them there.

Where do they sleep when they stay over currently?

Bluebutterfly90 Mon 27-Jan-20 20:21:26

Your OH needs to be going for full custody if it's that bad.
So that'll be going to court, or even involving social services if need be.
What does your OH plan to do?

Londongirl07 Mon 24-Feb-20 23:37:09

Your partner needs to think of those kids and get them full time. They’re in danger with their mother like this and she needs help. It’s for the best interest of all. She can get the help she needs to be the best mum she can after

HeddaGarbled Mon 24-Feb-20 23:58:32

I wonder whether the best solution here is to get social services involved. Their mum clearly isn’t coping. Some support from social services may get her back into a place where she can parent properly, but if that doesn’t work, their father will have official corroboration of the need for them to move.

What you report does sound dreadful but can I just say that lone parenting of two such very young children is hard, especially on not much money, and the alcohol dependency may be a reaction to her difficult circumstances. She wouldn’t be the first mother to fall apart drastically in her situation, nor to lose her children, only to turn it around later when it’s too late.

However, that’s not your problem to fix. That’s for professionals.

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