Hi there,
my SD is 13, I have a son who's almost 12 and me and DP have a toddler of 25 months. SD comes EOW, so basically sees the toddler twice a month.
I already posted about SD's feelings that it's her job to discipline the toddler in my presence. I told her several times not to do it, that it's my job. Falls on deaf ears.
I'm really trying to have a good relationship with her, she can be nice, but I do see inconsistencies in her behaviour that I can't accept.
So she's been with us less than 24 hrs and here are the things that happen.
-Toddler was in my arms and was making stringent sounds because he was excited. I don't even have time to open my mouth and she's autoritatively telling him "No". He obviously continues and she also. Whether I intervene or not, doesn't matter, she just seems to consider it her job. And I'm against 2 people disciplining my son, not to mention that I can deal with my son.
-When he was younger, he couldn't pronounce her name, so it sounded like "fifi", so she was teaching him to say her name. He finally learned how to pronounce it. She now decided that she likes "fifi" and everytime he calls her by her name (which is how we call her too and he hears it), she corrects him. Yesterday, she told him that if he calls her by her name again, she won't talk to him. Manipulation. I know he's too young to understand, but she does it also when he doesn't want to kiss her. She would take him toy and say that he won't get it until he kisses her. That makes me feel uncomfortable and again, I'm confused whether I should intervene or just let it go.
-If my toddler is having a snack while she's not, she just comes and takes a piece of whatever it is he has on his plate (not to mention that it's without washing hands). If I give something to her and keep one part for the toddler who's napping, she contests it. She wants to have it herself...
-Today I hear my toddler and her saying "it's mine" about something when I asked what's going on she sayd that she decided to teach him how to share. So she took his toy and when he wanted it, she said it was HERS and not to touch it. He obviously didn't accept it and she would repeat that it's hers, then take it away from him. Now, she always felt free to take his or my older son's toys as she pleases (as well as my things) even if it's without his consent. She once even took his favorite fidget cube without asking because "he already has another one". She doesn't bring much to our house, so doesn't have anything to share, but I heard her many times telling my son not to touch her phone or her small electric piano. I saw her twisting my son's hand because he wanted to take a spoon of her icecream, when she wants everything he has. About sharing with toddler, last time she was closing the box on his fingers because he wanted to take her pencils (she takes his obviously). And I have many more examples of her acting entitled.
So the problem is that not only I don't agree with her ideas and don't need her disciplining my toddler, but I'm annoyed at the blatant double standard. I want to have a good relationship with her, but I feel that I have to put her in her place (and even when I do, it doesn't sink, so I get even more annoyed).
Any advice?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.
Step-parenting
SD's discipline ideas about my toddler
40 replies
Anuta77 · 25/01/2020 20:42
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.