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Step-parenting

SC struggling with mum's relationship

2 replies

BanoffeeFlapjack · 24/01/2020 13:35

My SC is struggling at the moment with the fact their mum is in a relationship.

I know it's not my 'business' but we all get along well so thought I'd ask here if anyone's experienced this and had any tips?

They are starting to act out and are jealous, they have said this to us as well as their mum. They are worried she will want to spend more time with BF than them etc...

She is a good mum, she loves them more than anything and we've tried to reassure of this but it doesn't seem to help.

They admit that there's nothing actually wrong with the BF and that they are nice.

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lunar1 · 24/01/2020 17:23

Given that you all have a good relationship, maybe remind them that you being with their dad has turned out ok. It's always hard for children to adjust to new relationships, even if they like the person.

I do imagine that the only thing which will reassure them is time.

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AnneLovesGilbert · 24/01/2020 22:35

How long has the new man been around? Is he at their house a lot?

We had a horrible time with my DSS when DH ex got a new relationship, he went through complete rages for apparently no reason at all and it only made sense afterwards. It was all handled awfully, which probably/hopefully isn’t the case here. DSD found it easier but she told her mum they weren’t happy he was around as much as he was while DSS didn’t feel he could say anything and he let it all out with us. Crappy times. All we could do was listen, be calm, stable and normal. It looked like a mess, and was, so we didn’t go the route of “it turned out okay for us” as we’d been together a while by then and strongly wished her boyfriend would bugger off ASAP.

No real advice. How’s she dealing with what they’re saying? She has a right to her own happiness and a romantic relationship but if the DC are really struggling hopefully she’s listening and trying to manage their feelings.

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