Hi ladies, I’m hoping to hear other people’s opinion on my situation. I met my other half 8 years ago when my son was just 5. Initially he was great with me and my son but since we’ve had our daughter 4 years ago and he believed he was on our mortgage (I almost put him on ) he’s turned really nasty. He shouts at my son all the time for the tiniest of issues and calls him names like ugly and stupid. He’s also been very shouty with me and always tells me I’m a rubbish mother. Our holidays are always tense and family days end up with melt downs and arguments. I started to say things like we’re not compatible, we should go our separate ways etc but he just started threatening to run away with our daughter or to rubbish my reputation by spreading lies about me with work colleagues, friends and family. I’ve been suffering with depression because I feel like i’m Stuck with an arsehole. More recently I’ve recognised his behaviour as abuse and I’ve said I want to end the relationship. He continued to pick on my son so I phoned the police on 101, just for advice but the police came and arrested my partner. They said it was coercive control and because the property is just in my name, if I want to refuse him to live there the police would remove him. He used to pay about 40% of the bills, I always paid more because I earned more. When he realised he wasn’t on the mortgage he stopped paying anything towards the bills. It’s been nearly a year now since he stopped paying but he refuses to move out because he has so much credit card debt that every penny he earns goes to pay the interest on all his cards. He has recently been behaving himself and has stopped shouting at us and insulting us, but I still want him out. I know that kicking him out would mean he would be homeless and as I do want him to have our daughter occasionally, I would hate our daughter to visit him in a shelter or shared home where I didn’t know the other people. Also he did lots of work on my property such as fitting a new kitchen and painting and decorating in other rooms. He now says he wants me to pay for his labour for doing these. He thinks I’m heartless for wanting to split up our family and when I say I want him to pay towards the bills he just says ‘you’ve got a short memory’ because he thinks I owe him for the work he’s done. He’s a really good dad to our daughter which is his redeeming feature. What do I do??
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.
Step-parenting
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.