Hello everyone, this is my first post on netmums. Don’t have a great friends circle for advice so hoping for some on here.
I broke up with my sons biological dad when he was a baby due to drink problems/stress/incompatibility when he was under 1 year old. I always carry that guilt although he has a good relationship with the child and has stayed in his life thank god.
Very soon after that break up I reconnected with a past boyfriend who worked away as a lorry driver most of our relationship and has only been home more the last year or so and has build a fairly good relationship with my son, my son thinks the world of this man (my son is 4 years old).
Long story short, our relationship hasn’t been great since day one it’s been on/off a couple time’s a year, seems like every right we have had this last year or so (since he moved in with me) he has wanted to break up after each fight or sign of conflict.
I am quite an emotionally unavailable girlfriend to him and I’m unsure why really, maybe because of past issues.
He broke up with me last night again saying he can’t continue as we don’t get on and there was harsh words exchanged infront of my son- which I have always tried not to argue infront of him because my boyfriend uses foul language at me to express his anger so I put a stop to it, obviously not doing so well on that part now. My partner is quite secretive and I have reason not to trust him which has affected our relationship, I guess my insecurities have destroyed the most part of it. He maintains all of the issues I bring up are in my head or not true or over reacting.
My main reason for this thread is that he doesn’t want to see my son if we are broke up because he doesn’t want to see me or be involved with me because of his own hurt over the breakup.
Part of me understands why but my son will be devastated!
He was before over our last break up when I told the child my boyfriend wasn’t doing to be back. I’d of never of said that if I thought he would be.
We got back together after that (only few months ago) and he was talking about engagement. Though it’s come to light nothing has changed with him and he’s still carrying his destructive ways when we argue. I know I am not perfect either and do not claim to be. But I think respect is very important in a relationship and especially do not want my son to hear him telling me to F off or f up or call me names in arguments. It’s more hurtful to me that he does it infront of my son than that he actually says it if you know what I mean.
I love my son to death and feel an emmense amount of guilt that he will have to go through this separation with me in the fact he won’t see my partner again.
He walked out on us last night and my son ran to him to ask where he was going and he said I am clearly not wanted here. My son was so confused and I told my partner he was disgusting for saying that to him. Feel like my son has been though so much already at his age. I try so hard to keep my relationship/life problems away from him as he is so young and precious. But this time it’s just not going to be that easy. My boyfriend and my child have not always had the best relationship, it’s took a lot of work for my partner to bond with my child which was always an issue to me, I felt like he was jealous in a sense, they have got on better as of lately, I’ve had to work hard on that.
There’s a lot more to my situation/relationship/story. Just don’t want to rant on anymore.
Would like some advice please on what to say to my child when he brings up my partners name again and asks why he hasn’t seem him, hearts broke for him 🙁 and can’t help but feel responsible.
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Step Parent Break up he doesn’t want to see my child, advice please on anyone who has experience with this situation x
36 replies
IrishMum25 · 04/11/2019 11:19
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