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A tiny vent.. School runs n dp disorganisation

(21 Posts)
Spanglyprincess1 Mon 21-Oct-19 09:34:16

Does anyone else's dp do this drives me insane....also how do we fix it?
Gets up late when Dsc are here for school run. Runs around flapping and shouting were late. No your late, the kids have been up since half six.
I'm working but from home and always end up having to take a break to help and it annoys me.
Ecamples of crap that makes him late.
Not ironing eldest schoolshirt till 2 min before leave house... Who does that?
Not brushing the toddlers teeth ever as no time.
School uniform damp as forgot to wash it till late sat night despite me reminding him after school Friday.
Forgetting their trainers so wore school shoes so dirty on weekend. Didn't bother cleaning them till time to levae.
Forgot to get cash out for lunch money
Not making them make own breakfast, they are all over 8 so capable, except ourtoddler.
Not checking they have glasses and homework books etc until nearly out the door.

I find it exhausting

OP’s posts: |
Ricekrispie22 Mon 21-Oct-19 09:47:39

I’d tell him that something has to change and ask him to work out what it is that needs changing and how he’s going to change it. Then make sure that he does. It could be setting the alarm earlier, writing a checklist, or making sure everything is ready for school the evening before. Also, make the dsc take more responsibility in the mornings.

AnneLovesGilbert Mon 21-Oct-19 09:49:11

He sounds useless.

I thought you’d broken up sad

Spanglyprincess1 Mon 21-Oct-19 09:59:46

We did back together to try for ds.
He forgot ds coat and that childminder was on annual leave today (Tbf I forgot the leave bit but it's stuck. On fridge)

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Windydaysuponus Mon 21-Oct-19 10:01:37

How many bathrooms do you have? I would be tempted to have a long bath and let him get on with it....

Spanglyprincess1 Mon 21-Oct-19 10:03:15

I'm. At work. Start very early as do compressed hours around childcare

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cookingonwine Mon 21-Oct-19 14:28:14

Sounds like my DH with his children ... I don't get involved at all. Not my circus.

SandyY2K Mon 21-Oct-19 20:18:08

His Ex would have done it all on her own when they were together.

You can see it will all be on you for your DS.

Spanglyprincess1 Tue 22-Oct-19 10:53:44

Really? The kids were not school age when he n exw split so some massive projecting there!!
I just want him to be more organised, it's an issue in all things but the school run drives me nuts as its compressed into around 25min of stress that's not nessiasry.
Lists the night before would help him. Good idea.
Im working away got the next one thank goodness.

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lunar1 Tue 22-Oct-19 16:22:53

I feel so sorry for children with parents like him. They must spend the start of every school day so anxious and unsettled. My mum was like this and I never felt I had everything I needed, I hated it.

pikapikachu Tue 22-Oct-19 18:10:35

how do we fix it?

He needs to fix it.

Is an adult who manages to go to work and complete his tasks on time?
The morning school run is not as hard if he sits down and breaks down the flash points. He can use his phone for reminders like wash PE kit and get into a routine like most mums do of polishing shoes on a Sunday etc

You aren't unreasonable to want to vent about this- it would drive me nuts and it's so unfair on the kids.

SandyY2K Tue 22-Oct-19 18:17:36

No projection....it's just what most mums do.

So just a lack of organisation and common sense from him then?

Because surely after rushing around once or twice, one would logically think about advanced planning the next time.

ateallthecake Tue 22-Oct-19 18:59:29

Maybe it's just me but there is no way on earth I would leave all of that. That all sounds super stressful. You need to approach this completely differently and break it down into tasks for him and that these need to happen over weekend for the week ahead and then it's a simple case of laying out for the night before each evening. No one should be ironing at breakfast with kids! In my humble view. I wash and hang at weekends and all uniform is in one place so easy for us both to find. Agree it's important that mornings are calm and organised for kids to be relaxed before school. Perhaps approach it from that point of view first?

Spanglyprincess1 Tue 22-Oct-19 19:17:11

Soinds cold. But I'm. At work when this happens I'm. Just at home and at work.
I don't want to organise him or do it. I'll. Organise my toddler on my days but his school aged children are for him to sort and I repeat that tuff needs to be done or its not okay.
On days I am off everything is done by 7.15 so its just shoes on and out.
Im one of. 4 myself and I don't remember my mom doing this much faffing

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JellyBook Wed 23-Oct-19 07:17:11

You could no doubt sort this out very easily, but there is always a real danger when you instruct someone how to be more organised, that you end up involved in the doing!

However if you make it clear from the outset that you can’t do this for him, you can tell him how to make the process a lot easier for him, his children and everyone else in the house while this chaos is going on.

Routine and organisation is everything isn’t it. A little effort and preplanning makes for a more pleasant stay all round, and as a pp said it’s really distressing for the kids to not know which way is up when they’re off to school.

Dontforgetyourbrolly Wed 23-Oct-19 07:26:03

My ex was / is like this. Funnily enough he manages to be organised for golf and going on holiday to the Bahamas with his new girlfriend hmm

Ragwort Wed 23-Oct-19 07:30:08

How can you respect someone who behaves like that with his own children? Seriously, why should you manage his organisation skills? It would be totally off-putting for me, he sounds like a child himself.

Teacakeandalatte Wed 23-Oct-19 07:49:28

Is he this disorganised in other areas of life? Some people do have problems in this way so I wouldn't immediately assume he is doing it on purpose. Look at the rest of his life and see if it is equally chaotic. If not then you have to ask yourself if he is trying to get you to step in and take over.

SnuggyBuggy Wed 23-Oct-19 07:54:56

You need to let him fail. He isn't going to change if you help him out.

MarieG10 Wed 23-Oct-19 08:13:00

WTF are you back with this imbecile? As others suggested, ignore him as much as you can and let him fail. The non negotiable is not cleaning teeth of the little one which shows what a total twat he is as their teeth will rot.

Good god...was he really the best on offer?

Spanglyprincess1 Wed 23-Oct-19 09:00:19

Oh he's like it with most stuff but the time factor makes school runs stressful for me as I don't get it.
Some people are not organised and always late, so I guess it's common

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