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Step-parenting

DSD has decided to be vegetarian

237 replies

Iamnotagoddess · 13/07/2019 18:45

We have 6 kids between us 3 have now left home.

DSD who is 14 has decided to be a vegetarian.

Tbh I feel really pissed off (secretly, I would not vocalise this).

I work full time and DH travels a long way to get them so I always prepare the meals and we are a real “meat eating” family and I am not used to cooking veggie meals (I do things to feed a lot of people like Lasange, Cottage Pie) and am not keen on using substitute meat for everyone and haven’t got time to piss about with a separate meal, but obviously can’t insist DSD eats meat although she does go through a lot of fads.

How have others found solutions to this?

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needlessbanana · 13/07/2019 18:51

I went veggie at about that age and cooked some of my own meals and some meals my mum made to be veggie. She then usually had some cold meats on the side for those who were keen. Was really not a big drama.

Also, it wasn't a phase, I'm still veggie some 16 years later. Nowadays it is so so easy as well, there's really no shortage of recipes & products.

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SlowMoFuckingToes · 13/07/2019 18:53

Chucking in sub meat into spag Bol and lasagne instead of mince is easy. The meat eaters are fine with it. The nights she's there she can make her own. Do an easy meat substitute for the night she travels. It's not a big deal.

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Firsttimekittenowner · 13/07/2019 18:53

How often is she with you? It wouldn't take much to boil some pasta with sauce or make a panini or something else simple.
But at that age she is old enough to make her own food really so I wouldnt worry much about it.

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Hiphopopotamus · 13/07/2019 18:58

Tips...
Don’t dismiss it as a phase - your DsD is doing a good thing.
You might be a real ‘meat eating’ family but large meat consumption is decimating the environment and really helping to screw up the planet for your DSD’s generation. Maybe use this as an opportunity to look at your own eating habits and have a couple of veggie nights. Eating a few meals without meat won’t kill you - in fact it may prolong your life and the Earths life

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DropZoneOne · 13/07/2019 19:00

Presumably she's not there all that often, I'm sure it won't kill you to do a cottage pue, lasagne, spag bol or chilli with quorn mince. Takes no more effort, just needs a bit more liquid than meat.

And then encourage her to cook her veggie bit whilst you do the meat bit.

I became veggie at 17 so a bit older but my mum basically told me i was cooking for myself. After two weeks living off pasta and tomato sauce, i quickly learned new recipes! And this was in the days of soya mix so it's a lot easier now.

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Iamnotagoddess · 13/07/2019 19:08

I do not want to eat Quorn.

Why should everyone else have to change their diet because she has decided to eat meat?

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Teddybear45 · 13/07/2019 19:11

Nobody’s telling YOU to eat Quorn they’re telling it to cook it for your stepchild. You and your kids can continue to gorge yourself into an early grave with red meat consumption.

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User10fuckingmillion · 13/07/2019 19:15

She’s doing a good thing OP. And veggie meals are better for you.

Plus you could just tell her to make her own!

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Iamnotagoddess · 13/07/2019 19:15

Presumably she's not there all that often, I'm sure it won't kill you to do a cottage pue, lasagne, spag bol or chilli with quorn mince. Takes no more effort, just needs a bit more liquid than meat

And since when has it not okay to eat meat? We eat mostly (free range) chicken actually the mince means were just examples.

Thing is she isn’t taking it seriously, she had something else earlier (with jelly in it) and I said have you checked that’s suitable for a vegetarian and she laughed and ate it.

Last night we had chicken and she ate it it (a good sized portion) without telling me she had become a vegetarian.

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Iamnotagoddess · 13/07/2019 19:15

I respect that people are vegetarians, I do not wish to be one or be preached at about eating meat.

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Lumene · 13/07/2019 19:16

Maybe ask OH and her to do the planning, buying and food prep for her meals.

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AtSea1979 · 13/07/2019 19:16

OP your attitude towards your DSD is quite unpleasant. She’s hardly there and you are moaning about having to eat quorn. Why shouldn’t she eat what she wants to eat? Maybe she’s telling you she’s veggie so you might cook her something healthier, maybe she’s worried about all the red meat you are eating.
If not, Can’t you just buy her a ready meal? Or a veg pizza since oven is on for lasagne anyway. It’s once or twice a week so no big deal.

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Iamnotagoddess · 13/07/2019 19:16

Making her own is tricky for lots of reasons.

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Gizlotsmum · 13/07/2019 19:17

I went veggie at a similar age. It really wouldn't be that much extra effort to make a veggie version along side the meat one of most meals. You could batch cook and freeze as single portions but it sounds like you just want her to eat meat again. I would support her. Help her make her own meals (make sure you have the ingredients in). I am now 43 and haven't eaten meat since then.

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Iamnotagoddess · 13/07/2019 19:18

Omg we eat more chicken than red meat, and fish.

OH works away that’s my point so it’s all down to me.

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Chovihano · 13/07/2019 19:18

I'd solve it quite easily. Not your child, not your responsibility.
She's coming to see your dp so he can pick a veggie mackies up for her on the way back, or cook her something himself.
Solved.

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HerRoyalNotness · 13/07/2019 19:19

You don’t have to. I’d make up some big batches of vege chilli, lentil Bolognese etc and freeze portions. Then you just need to or she can, cook herself a portion of rice or pasta to go with it

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Chovihano · 13/07/2019 19:19

It isn't down to you unless you accept it is. What would happen if your dp was single.
Why are you having sd when he isn't there.

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Gizlotsmum · 13/07/2019 19:20

Maybe she didn't tell you because she was scared of your reaction? But I can see you are going to enjoy pulling apart any mistake she makes and keep offering her meat only meals... I imagine she will soon stop eating at yours so won't be an issue

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AtSea1979 · 13/07/2019 19:21

It’s no big deal to whack a pizza in the oven. If you are having chicken then why can’t you just give her a plate of potatoes and veg etc and just get some veg gravy in.
Get your DH to take her to the supermarket when she’s up then she can choose some things.

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Iamnotagoddess · 13/07/2019 19:21

Tonight I did home made pizzas so had loads of veg but she just wanted cheese and tomoto.

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Cahira · 13/07/2019 19:22

My son (8) is a veggie, has been for around 15 months. We're a full time working family and manage, you don't need to cook everything veggie all of the time and it isn't too much of a faff.

Some vegetarian meals are really nice and easy especially a vegetable pasta bake.

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theunrivalledjoysofparenting · 13/07/2019 19:22

Sounds like you don’t like her much, which is probably affecting how you feel about it.

eating meat 3very night is unhealthy and bad for the planet. It’s easy to do eg baked potatoes with veggie fillings, pasta with veggie sauces, veggie curry or chilli, or risotto.

But... if it’s only a fad and she’s happy to eat chicken, then she’s not vegetarian, is she? So don’t cook her veggie things.

Why not sit down and talk about it to her? Treat her as if she was your own dc? What would you do if it was one of yours?

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trilbydoll · 13/07/2019 19:22

DH is veggie. Quorn is okay. Tbh I tend to make a vat of quorn chili or bolognaise or curry with the chicken style pieces and freeze portions for him. That's probably easiest for you, you can have whatever you normally have and she can have the quorn version from the freezer?

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Iamnotagoddess · 13/07/2019 19:23

I can’t give her a pizza every time Confused but batch cooking might be a good idea.

OH picks them up on his way home.

She is not scared of me Hmm

It’s just a PITA.

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