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9 year old stepdaughter in Instagram account - how far do I go?

(9 Posts)
wonderstuff123 Wed 03-Jul-19 09:59:00

Just that really... she's had it now for about a year, mum set her up on it. I let partner know straight away I thought it was inappropriate as the age rating is there for a reason as well as all the research into how bad social media is for kids but he said it was fine as her profile was private and he checked regularly.

At first the pics/videos were just of drawings and stuff she did, but they're now becoming increasingly inappropriate. She now has a Tik Tok account and is making a LOT of videos/pictures for both - pouting, sticking tongue out, hair in front of face looking "sexy" - clearly things she has picked up online as her mum doesn't do them and neither do we. She's also becoming massively narcissistic...loads of selfies and lots of "Take a picture of me in this pose" to family members. Partner has said he hates this behaviour, but doesn't seem bothered enough to stop her.

I mentioned it again to my partner last week, just told him I thought he was nuts to let him have these accounts but that it was down to them to make the final decision. Personally, I think my partner is being pretty naive when it comes to this. I work with kids and know the dangers, he just seems to think it won't effect her. My major worry is if something DOES go wrong in a few years, weaning her off it is going to be nigh impossible considering she's had it since a young age.

How far do I go on this? Do I sit down for another chat about it? Or just leave it and hope for the best? I'll be honest that and say that by doing that, it makes me feel I'm failing to safeguard a child who essentially is a daughter to me and that's really hard to swallow.

OP’s posts: |
ISmellBabies Wed 03-Jul-19 10:03:45

You've said your piece, now just leave it be. It's up to her parents to parent her. There's nothing you can do if they're not fussed. Direct your energy elsewhere.

Teddybear45 Wed 03-Jul-19 10:23:33

Up to her parents. I would, however, suggest not having kids with this idiot.

Alfr Wed 03-Jul-19 10:27:30

You can report underage users to Instagram, and they will delete the profile if it's obvious that the user is under the age of 13.
Won't resolve the parenting issue, but will stop the child being exposed to potential danger

Contraceptionismyfriend Wed 03-Jul-19 10:30:24

Report the accounts.

HeckyPeck Wed 03-Jul-19 10:33:30

You can report underage users to Instagram, and they will delete the profile if it's obvious that the user is under the age of 13.

I would do this. It’s the only way you can safeguard her with both of her parents being so crap.

NorthernSpirit Wed 03-Jul-19 18:33:38

She got SM accounts at 8 years old? The law says 13 and it’s there for a reason - to protect minors who don’t have the maturity to deal with minors.

Report the accounts.

SolsticeBabyMaybe Fri 05-Jul-19 18:29:56

Oh my god this is my NIGHTMARE for my stepdaughter. One of my biggest growing-up fears!

All you can really do is express your concerns to dp, and let him know the age minimum for Instagram (I think it's 14?).

I do not envy you this situation.

BasilFaulty Sat 06-Jul-19 13:04:02

I have the same problem OP, it's so difficult, although my SD is 12 so it's different. I told DH my concerns when she had messaged a friend on there a meme/quote about self harm and that she didn't want to live anymore. It's all got much better now and she's having support, but I don't know why they didn't take her off straight away. She's come off it herself now but if she hadn't she'd still be on it.
I don't get what, at 9, she could possibly be getting from it?? The only thing it's proving is that it's having a big impact on her.
You've made your feelings known, there's not much more we can do, but you do have my understanding and sympathies wine

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