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New partner child disagreements

(11 Posts)
Gemmasa Wed 29-May-19 00:46:25

So I met my partner two years ago everything is great apart from one thing we really don’t agree on how the kids should be bought up, he can also be really selfish sometimes. He has a daughter who he doesn’t see due to on going issues with her mum, and I sometimes don’t think he realises how hard it is being a mum who loves their children more than anything and also disciplining them. I bought them up for 5 years on my own and I’m really struggling with him telling them off and putting rules in place. It’s stupid things like if we are away and only have one phone charger he will take the charger for himself and not consider the kids having it, It’s probably petty but I will give them anything. Most of the time he is brill with them and he loves them and they love him but it’s just when it comes to telling them off, I want to be in control of that, someone please advise how I get around this

OP’s posts: |
Chocmallows Wed 29-May-19 00:53:06

Sounds like he priorities himself and is not fair. This is a problem as you and they will resent him. I understand you want overall control as they are your DC.

Do you have ideas on how to tackle this?

How have you tackled other disagreements ... talk, involve others, use examples, write a parenting plan?

twattymctwatterson Wed 29-May-19 06:42:52

I wouldn't be involved with a man who doesn't see his own child

QuickQuestion2019 Wed 29-May-19 06:45:41

I agree with @twattymctwatterson. I would never a started a relationship with someone who doesn't see their child. Massive red flag.

HerondaleDucks Wed 29-May-19 06:48:58

The fact he doesn't see his own child is very alarming.
He sounds very selfish and I think you should prioritise your own children over him.

IndieTara Wed 29-May-19 06:52:20

Yep with the red flag. He doesn't see his own child, why not?

poopypants Wed 29-May-19 06:55:49

Any man who loves his child would move heaven and earth to see them. He wouldn't just 'not see them due to ongoing issues with the ex'. He should be fighting in the law courts. He's not. Says a lot about him.

AJPTaylor Wed 29-May-19 06:58:34

Tbh if he doesn't care enough about his own dc to see them he prob doesn't "love " yours.

nrpmum Wed 29-May-19 07:10:42

I was going to say not every nrp who doesn't see their children should have a massive red flag waving, but then he is also a selfish twat.

I think you need to be completely honest with him about his behaviour and if it doesn't improve get rid.

WhiteCat1704 Wed 29-May-19 08:32:03

You can't expect him to take your children on but not discipline....he either does nothing for them and that includes not paying for them and has a relationship like a friend/uncle OR you are a family and he has a say in how they are brought up.

ladybee28 Wed 29-May-19 09:36:05

It’s stupid things like if we are away and only have one phone charger he will take the charger for himself and not consider the kids having it, It’s probably petty but I will give them anything

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