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Missing DSD

(9 Posts)
VashersNightblood Sun 19-May-19 00:39:47

Does any one have any advise or words of wisdom on how you cope with never seeing your step children again after leaving your abusive partner?
Stbxh said I'd never see DSD again if I left him and he has kept true to his word. DSD and I were really close, I wasn't even allowed a goodbye.

OP’s posts: |
funinthesun19 Sun 19-May-19 07:34:08

Hi, how old is your dsd? Is she at an age where she is able to make her own contact with you eg teenager?
Can her mum help maintain contact between you both?

Firefliess Sun 19-May-19 09:31:24

Can you message her on social media to at least say sorry for not saying goodbye, and see if she wants to stay in touch? Or is she too young? If she's younger her mum's probably your only option unless you're close to other family members or your STBEx calms down and facilitates contact.

ladybee28 Sun 19-May-19 21:05:22

OP, I don't know if you've already done this, but if your STBXH is abusive I'd be making sure the relevant authorities are aware for your DSD's sake.

If he abused you, your DSD is potentially also at risk.

VashersNightblood Sun 19-May-19 22:37:09

She is too young for social media. And I have no way to contact through her mum. Her mum does know how he was treating me though.

OP’s posts: |
Sisterlove Tue 21-May-19 19:20:50

I would have also said her mum, but you said that wasn't possible.

Would the mum be receptive if you could find her? Or is it just impossible to contact her?

He's a nasty man and you did the right thing in leaving him.

mamaofboyzz Tue 21-May-19 19:25:01

That's awful 😩and it's nice to see a nice relationship between step parents and step children. Try your best to meet up with mum even if you have to turn up at her house. She will know how important it is to keep the relationship going. Sendings hugs

nrpmum Tue 21-May-19 19:27:48

@VashersNightblood my ex husband did this to me with our biological daughter. It is horrendous, and my heart breaks for you and dsd.

SpecterLitt Tue 21-May-19 20:23:28

I'm sorry to hear this OP, although it is nice to hear that you had a good relationship with her.

If you ever can contact her mum (asking any one for details who may know her?) I would ask if she would be ok with you visiting her daughter and having a relationship. However, if she were to be uncomfortable, you would have to respect her wishes and just leave them alone.

It must be so difficult, but the truth of the matter is, it's up to her parents to decide who she can maintain relationships with at this stage. Maybe when she is older you can seek a relationship with her but honestly for now, I would treasure the good memories and try and move on. You have been through a horrible abusive relationship, it's time to focus on you and your happiness.

Wishing you the best OP. I hope better days are to come your way.

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