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General advice needed on new LO in a 'blended family'...

(7 Posts)
PurpleLostPrincess Tue 10-Jul-07 21:42:10

Hi, I wasn't sure where to post this so please forgive me if its in the wrong place!?

I've remarried (almost five years) and my DH is a wonderful SD to my two DC's (DS aged 13 and DD1 aged 8). I'm pg with our first together and we're all very excited. DC's are really looking forward to the arrival of their new sister and I can tell already they're going to be great with her.

They see their dad either every weekend or every other weekend and its very flexible depending on what we're doing and when he's working etc. - no complaints in this area and its all very friendly. In fact, I'm still very close with his sister and mum and family etc. He's taking them on holiday for a week in August which will give me a nice rest as I'll be even fatter by then!

However, today when he called to speak with them and arrange this weekend, he offered that he has some holiday left over that he could take when this LO arrives to 'give us some space'. I was a bit taken aback and thanked him but said that I don't want to shove them out of the way! He said no probs but the offer is there.

This isn't a big issue and having been through much much worse in previous years, I appreciate that it isn't the be all and end all. I'm just interested to know what other people's experiences have been in this area and if you've got any advice? My gut feeling is to stick to the usual routine...

Thanks in advance,

PLP xxx

oooggs Tue 10-Jul-07 21:45:30

maybe not straight away, but it may be nice when new dd has been home for a while and your dc's may want a break (from the crying, sleepless nights etc... not that I have new babies )

macdoodle Wed 11-Jul-07 10:17:48

He sounds lovely and thoughtful (is he single )....play it by ear thank him and say may take him up on it later on ..

PurpleLostPrincess Wed 11-Jul-07 15:46:06

LOL macdoodle, sorry he's got a girlfriend. I'm not his best character reference either tbh!!!

Thanks, I'll bear your comments in mind and see how things go.

Any other general advice or experience for this sort of situation (new baby in a blended family)1? That sounds like I'm worried which I'm not; I'm just open minded and think it can be handy to prepare or at least try!

Fanx, PLP xx

fizzbuzz Thu 12-Jul-07 21:03:43

When my dd was born, nothing could keep ds and ds's away, they were all obsessed with her.

1 year later, they still are! Yes,it might be nice to have a bit of space, but I think they will miss out.

We found them all willing to help, or just sit and stare at her at any given time!

HTH

SpongebobControlpants Fri 13-Jul-07 12:41:16

I would be wary of ex having them right at the start, as they may feel pushed out.

My dd is 4 months, and I have dss aged 13 and dsd aged 10 living with us. They were very excited in the run-up, and I do believe if they had gone to their mum's in the immediate aftermath of the birth, it would have been more difficult for them to feel as they do about her.

Mind you, the plan was for them to stay with mum when I went into hospital, as she was due during the easter hols, but she came 3 weeks early so that all went to pot!

Anyhow, dsd was wary initially, as she is no longer daddy's baby girl, but it really helped that she was here at home so dh could lavish lots of attention on her, and we got her to help with fetching nappies, clean clothes etc and she loved that.

4 months on, it's going really well and dss in particular is very doting to his baby sister.

I think the idea of them having a break a few weeks or so down the line might be the way to go.

Good luck with everything!

lexicross Sat 14-Jul-07 18:17:59

My partner has two boys aged 10 & 6. When I had our baby 4 months ago we picked them up from their mums on the way home from the hospital on the day she was born and made sure they saw her every day for the next fortnight or so. (They usually spend 3 days a week with us).

Bizarrely her birth has thawed relations with my partner's ex, who bought the first baby gift and has for the first time in five years, been into our house. This has obviously helped the boys adjust to the situation, they currently spend 3 nights a week with us and most holidays from school.

The 10 year old took longest to accept her and had a few strops at the beginning. Now they are both completely smitten and she adores her brothers.

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