Hi I'm new to this so here goes
I am a mother of two 10 and 5, I have my own house with 3 bedrooms,
I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and get on so well, just found out we are expecting our first child together (totally shocked but happy)
He has a daughter who is also 5, lovely and kind and she really likes me too
He has just had to move out of his rented house recently due to landlord selling up, so gone back to his mum and dads
He has his daughter basically when he gets told to because his ex is very controlling and still speaks to him disrespectfuly, I was shocked when I seen it for my own eyes,
I told my bf that I was happy for his daughter to stay over at mine every other weekend with my children as they go to there dads one weekend and with me the next,
He has just started a new job also so cant just have her when she tells him and has asked for a set routine every other weekend and she kicked off and called him all kinds of names but has now agreed.
Anyway my point to this I'm really struggling at the moment and I feel like when ever he has his daughter his whole attitude/mood routine changes, he snaps at me for the slightest thing, but once's she's gone he's back to his normal self, I no it's stressful but im walking on egg shells my most recent weekend.......
I made all the children pizza and chips Friday night I went to the shop and left him with them all for 10 minutes, came back and the plate she had was put in middle of table untouched and was eating cereal, my kids had finished, his response after I asked why he's made her cereal when I just cooked her tea( well the oven did) she didn't want that!!
She then didn't want the cereal and asked for biscuits... he gave it to her.
Bedtime is always stressful, she never wants to go to bed, cry's and screams, so we have tried doing reward charts, he reads story's before beds and settles her but she gets out at least 50 times, I understand being unsettled in other people's houses that's why we have tried different tactics, I eventually said can I tuck her in after he was exhausted in the end so he said yes, I went in and had a little chat, told her about the party we was going to in the after noon so she needs lots of energy, she settled and seemed happy, I got back in bed for him to get out and say I'm going to give her a kiss and tuck her in.... I was shocked and said are you joking she is settled, then obviously by him going in made her start again arggggg
Also... I have also missed out that my kids are watching her get away with all this, my son who is also 5 gives up his room so that she can stay, they have a really good routine and are very good kids
After she stayed Saturday night I went in his bedroom to find poo all over floor, he said it wasn't her and tried to blame my son who hadn't even been near his bedroom, turned out it was her.
He says sometimes I'm just picking at him,
Whenever I have her on my own she's good as gold, and the minute he gets in the whole house goes chaos and no boundaries, anyway I will be here all day taking up all this thread but That is just a tiny part and one weekend of what it's like, seems like it's getting worse, I'm getting more stressed and dreading her coming sometimes( which I hate myself for saying)
Just can't help but worry and it definitely won't work once the baby comes.
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15 replies
pearlx · 09/02/2019 10:31
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